


All The Things Kevin Knew, and the things he didn't (edited version for bae)

by theatricalartist



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: M/M, Other, edited for the bae
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-14 11:30:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 52,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9179689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theatricalartist/pseuds/theatricalartist
Summary: This Is the edited less triggering version of ATTKKAATTHD which is apparently our acronym





	1. 1

Your house has a golden finish. This finish frames your terracotta covered door beautifully. It’s a nice door except for a single flaw. The door clicks when you open it. Mind you it takes three clicks to open the door into your house hold.

 

One click takes you to the local grocery store and into the dairy aisle. Its linoleum floor reflects the dim orange lighting. You know you can return back to your front door through the seventh freezer the houses the almond milk. Ugh. Almond milk.

 

 If you click the door twice it takes you to the door of a radio station in the middle of an endless desert that you do not recognize. The blood that seeps out from under the door makes you uneasy. The station’s unmoving clock glows vibrantly and you can feel the radio waves in your soul. Space and time are weird here. If you turn the knob to the station it returns you back home again.

 

Unfortunately, the passage is usually really messy and you end up having to sweep sand off your porch.

Fortunately, three clicks will take you into your living room.

 

The living room has tan furniture and the soft cream carpet is nice to run your feet over. You walk into the kitchen and pick a few scarab beetles out of the sink and placing them into a cup you overturn. Their green forms run over one another bumping into the sides of the cup. You smile and open your oven placing a prepackaged cup of noodles into it closing the door. Some time ago an electric appliance swap over took the town; the functions of your oven and microwave have been swapped since. You know you probably should’ve replaced them like Mayor Mitchell advised.

But dangit those were your first purchases you made after getting your radio host job and they were going to stay that way. At least until you were ratted out by… well anyone. Actually if you looked over your room a lot of the items you owned had become banned in recent years. The age stained leather bound books, the heavy faded yellow drapes, and your favorite a vinyl record of calming rain noises.  It was probably good that you didn’t have anyone over. Well anyone except-

 

“Kevin open the door!” The voice shouts from the other end.

 

“Kevin isn’t available right now!” You call back melodrama dripping form your voice.

 

“Kevin a will kick your door in if you don’t answer it.” She says in a tone that lets you know she means it. And as likely as it is that your door will just take her into the dairy aisle you wouldn’t like to see how pissed she’d be after she has to pay for the damage done to the gallons of milk. So you walk to the door and open it slightly, one-two-three, looking at her with a scowl. “Cool?” Vanessa says stifling a laugh.

 

“Oh shove it Vanessa!” You shout and go to close the door on her but she sticks her leg in the door way keeping it open. You release your grip on the other end and walk back to your kitchen pulling the warm noodles out of the oven, and grabbing a plastic fork from the drawer. Vanessa follows you inside making sure to close your door behind her. She takes off her heavy black boots and drops them by the entry way.

 

“You know you really should replace that thing.” She says gesturing to the oven and sits on one of your dining room chairs. You only have two, two people have only ever been in your house. You and, well, Vanessa. Her frantic maroon hair is frizzier than usual and she has made a pitiful attempt to pull it back into a pony tail of some kind. It makes it look more like her hair exploded in the back. You always liked red hair on Vanessa you thought the red complimented her ebony complexion.

 

You clutch the cupped noodles in your hands as you walk into the living room still scowling at her. She just shakes her head and pulls out a book setting about reading it while tilting in her chair back so it balances on its back legs. Her mouth moves as she reads. It’s a habit of hers but you would never call her out on it in a million years. One, because she’s your best friend and you find it adorable and two, because she scares you a little.

 

“So are we going to talk about the incident on air or…?”

 

“No Vanessa we are not. That incident will be burned with the rest of my blunders.”

 

Her tight lips twitch into a smile, “Drama Queen.”

 

“I’m going to die alone Vanessa. Alone and unloved. Woe is me. Kevin the single.” You say and hold your cup noodle in the air and let yourself freefall onto the couch. The broth spills out the side of the cup and splats on the ground.

 

“Alright,” She says and shuts her book loud enough for you to hear. You lay still on your couch. She leans over it staring down at you her face taking on a stern look.

“Give me the cup Kevin.” She holds out a hand. You relinquish the cup to her and she dumps it into the trash can.

 

“Vanessa!” You shout and sit up, “I could’ve eaten that!!!”

 

“Yeah and you could’ve told Tad Dougal that he was anything besides ‘Cool’.” She tosses your jacket at you, “Come on lover boy. Let’s go get drinks.”

 

“Take my ashes when I’m dead.” You announce and burry your face in the jacket. Vanessa pulls you off the couch and it comes to your attention that you really don’t have a say in the matter.

 

* * *

 

 

You have your jacket pulled tightly around your body and your arms crossed. You’ve puffed up your chest and rock impatiently in the corner of the room while Vanessa chats with a blonde at the end of the bar. She glances at you rolling her eyes and tucks a strand of hair behind the blonde’s ear. You shake your head at her as the bartender hands you your Shirley temple.

 

“Thanks,” You say and take a sip. You planned on getting smashed but if Vanessa’s drinking you will probably have to drive her home. That’s fine. You think bitterly to yourself. You can handle one drunk Vanessa. But you will not tolerate a drunk Vanessa and her one-night stand.

 

“I’ll take a jack and coke thank you,” A gruff voice next to you says. You turn your head to the man in the golden suit. His hair slicked back, a deep black color with grey streaking at his temples creating an unintentional illusion of lighting. His hazel eyes travel over to you, “Can I help you with something?” He says sounding off put.

 

You divert your gaze from him, “O-Oh no I mean. I don’t think we’ve met before. Hi I’m Kevin.” You hold out a hand for him to shake and crack an awkward smile. You know your blushing and can feel your usually dormant tattoos squirm on your upper arm.

He looks down at your hand and then takes it into his own shaking firmly. He smiles and his teeth are perfectly white and straight. He’s the romantic interest in every book you’ve ever read. You were positive if your life was a movie there’d be close up shots of him and the lighting would be excellent. The romantic music would play in and-crap. He’s talking to you and you’re still holding his hand.

 

“I-I’m sorry what?” You say taking your hand away and scrunch your eyebrows together in confusion.

 

He chuckles, “I said that was pretty rough on your radio show today. Tad Dougal clearly doesn’t know what an opportunity he missed out on. He’s definitely not cool.” He beams at you with a smile that’s like the sun and your heart threatens to fall out of your mouth as you sit there making these ungodly choking noises at him in response.

 

He runs a finger over the edge of your glass, “Why don’t you let me buy you a drink okay?” He says and everything you ever told yourself not to do just flies out the window.

 

You nod very dumbly at him in response. He smiles and orders you something. You can’t tell what he said, all you can hear is the blood rushing in your ears and you are far too overstimulated at this moment to process that you could be in any kind of danger. You take your jacket off as the room begins to feel hotter to you and you begin to sweat a little.

 

“Is something wrong?” He asks in this amused voice tilting his head slightly at you, “Kevin?”

 

“Y-Yes!” You say suddenly surprised. You hope he doesn’t notice your faces slow change in color or your tattoos threatening to manifest themselves and pull him toward you like you had with your second boyfriend. You hope to god they don’t. He’s staring at you and you realize you’ve just responded to his question, “Ah-ah I mean. I didn’t catch your name before?”

 

“It’s Diego,” He says and kisses your hand and then chuckles once more. A drink is handed to you and you begin to drink it with little worry about what it actually is. In all honesty you never really find out. You are so enraptured with him and everything he does that you find yourself saying things you didn’t think you’d tell anyone.

 

“So,” He says a hand on your knee, “How do you keep your listeners so engaged? I just have to know. You see I’m a bit of an entrepreneur, and I’ve been thinking about starting a radio station in a neighboring town. It would be really helpful if you could tell me.”

 

“That’s easy!” You say smiling maybe too wide, “You see. I’m actually a quarter siren; or at least that’s what my files at the DBCR said.”

 

“Hm? Were your parents not open to talking about it?” Diego says he’s leaning on the counter now head resting on his hand.

 

“Oh…my parents…” You say and you can feel the swell of confusion rise up inside you. The absence of memory that should be there but doesn’t seem to be within reach. It’s like a barrier in your mind that you can’t pass. You blink slowly trying to recall anything about them. “I-I’m sorry,” You whisper to Diego, “I don’t remember them.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Diego says and takes your hand, “If it helps I barely remember mine at all.” His chin is scratchy and his eyes look tired and all it’s doing is making your heart do little flips in your chest cavity, “Hey Kevin.” He says and reaches to take your hand when a pair of keys land in front of you.

 

“Kevvvvvvvv,” Vanessa says and puts her head on top of yours. She rubs her cheek into your hair, “You should take Me! And this lovely girl here to my house. So we can have a sleepoverrr.” Her words are slurred and she’s giggling while she nuzzles you. Her eyes wander to Diego, “Oh! Is Kevin planning a sleep over tonight too?”

 

“Vanessa!” You yell and the gold is back crawling its way across your face. Diego laughs in a calm manor.

 

“Well that would depend on Kevin.” He smiles, “But he really should get you two lovely ladies home.” Diego stands and kisses your cheek, “I’ll see you around Kevin.” He exits and with him the room seems to lose a bit of its color. Your heart is beating in your ears and you can feel the heat on your face. Vanessa wraps her arms around you and begins to coo in your ear and that’s when you realize.

You really need to take your fucking friend home.

 

 

* * *

 

“Look into you, look out of you, are you looking? Look harder. Look your hardest until you see only yourself. Look into yourself. Do you want to keep looking? Keep looking. It is all you see. You are all you see. Chili’s… Alright viewers looking to the sky we can now see that the offending second sun has dissipated. We can all thank our great Desert Bluffs government for it. And definitely not Strex Corp. Who needs Strex Corp? Not us here at the DBCR. We’re completely self-sufficient and definitely don’t need anything like corporate intervention. Why just the other day Diego and I were out to dinner and Diego said to me, do you know what Diego said to me? He said that this town looked like it would be getting a lot more Strex Corp intervention. I asked him why he thought that? And do you know what he responded? Do you know what my wonderful boyfriend Diego said? He said. I just think so. Can you believe that? He gave me a fright like you wouldn’t believe. For a second I thought he was going to tell me that he was a-no. Diego is a very studious accountant. And besides, like we all remember my good friend Cecil from Nightvale said that we we’re going to drive them out and that community radio would prevail. So there’s really nothing to worry about. When I told Diego he didn’t believe me! Diego is a very, very logical man. He always has papers and pens on him and is always talking about taxes, pft taxes? What are those? He’s so weird sometimes… Ah, intern Vanessa is bringing me a piece of paper. Thank you Vanessa. For those of you listeners who didn’t know. Vanessa met her girlfriend the same night I met my Diego and she’s just the sweetest-the sweet…Vanessa what is this? Have you read this? No, Vanessa come here.” Your eyes ran over the words again and again.

 

‘WE ARE ESTATIC TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU AND YOUR STATION HAVE BEEN CHOSEN AS THE FIRST OFFICAL BROADCASTING STATION OF STREX CORP SYNERNISTS INCORPERATED. WE LOOK FORWARD TO OUR FUTURE AS A PARENT COMPANY AND WISH THAT YOU DO NOT THINK OF US AS A SCARY COMPANY BUT RATHER AS YOUR FRIENDS. ALL PERSONS AND EQUIPMENT WITHIN THE DESERT BLUFFS COMMUNITY RADIO SYSTEM WILL NOW HAVE THEIR MIND, BODIES, AND BELONGINGS BELONG TO STREX CORP SYNERNISTS INCORPERATED.  STREXCORP. IT IS EVERYTHING.’

 

You stand there holding the paper tightly in your hands, Vanessa reading over your shoulder. You feel rage boil up inside you and stand up out of your seat letting the paper fall to the ground. Vanessa looks terrified and afraid. She reaches out to grab your shoulder. Your tattoos are pulsing you could burst into flames on the spot.

 

“No!” You shout into the microphone, “I won’t. I won’t let them take over. I won’t let them destroy our town, our community! Desert Bluffs this is our community we cannot allow Strex Corp to take over our town. It belongs to us! It belongs to the people of Desert Bluffs!”

 

There’s a bang at the door and you run to it pressing your body against it with all your weight. Vanessa runs over to help you she looks at you in a way you have never seen her before. Scared, terrified even. The door bangs behind you.

 

“Go away!” You shout and kick the door out of sheer frustration.

 

“Kevin it’s me, it’s Diego.” He calls and you stop for a moment. “Kevin let me in,” He says, “I’ll help you. I know how to break Strex Corp down. When I heard what happened, I came running. Kevin let me in.” You look to Vanessa and she nods. You both take your weight off the door. You reach out and throw the door open for him to enter.

 

“Diego I-!” you look at Diego and behind him the thralls of yellow suits. On them branded a yellow triangle with an orange S in the middle. Diego’s face is a stern scowl. In his hands a glistening golden gun rests. Your mind is still reeling in confusion when they begin to make their way inside.

 

“N-No!!” You yell and grab the door frame puffing yourself up as best as you can. You see the yellow suits waver for a single moment looking to one another. Their feet shuffle about and Diego sighs making his way to the front some kind of half human half robot walking with him.

 

“Step out of the way Kevin. You don’t want this fight,” He said his face almost conveying a sense of boredom, “I’ve been around you long enough now that your little magic tricks don’t affect me. Now if you’re smart, which you and I both know you aren’t, you’ll step out of the way, or I will force my way inside.”

 

You can feel your knees weaken and your stomach turn. Much like the first time you met him, but this time it’s not love that’s making it flip but disgust and betrayal. You put your head down and mumble your response. Diego squints clearly not having heard you.

 

“Repeat what you said?” Diego says taking your chin in his hand. Your face is contorted in rage and you’re huffing and puffing in anticipation in a fight.

 

“I said if you want to get in. You’ll get in over my dead body.”

 

“Fair enough.” Diego says and fires his gun into your abdomen.

 

The pain ripples though you the heat spreading as the bullet passes through you. Your knees buckle under your weight and you can feel your grip on the door slipping but you dig your nails in. Your eyes are shut in pain and your tattoos are manifesting themselves in a defensive manor. Blood soaks through your shirt and you can feel the urge to vomit grow stronger. Diego tsks at you.

 

“Daniel restrain him please.” Diego says and you feel synthetic hands push you back. You lock up and stare into his blank robotic eyes. You’re gritting your teeth. You’re nails dig into the wood and your tattoos manifest anchoring yourself into it as well. You’re getting light headed but you’ll be damned if they take you down like this.

 

“Vanessa help,” You grind out but she’s frozen in fear behind you. Her eyes trained to your wound that looks much bigger than it actually is due to the spreading blood stain and drip on the floor.

 

“Daniel I told you to restrain him,” Diego growls, “Are you being insubordinate? Do I have to do your job for you? You insulant machine?”

 

Daniel launches at you with his full weight knocking you flat onto your back your tattoos tear from the wall and retreat back into your body to nurse their wounds. He lands on top of you and pins you to the ground. You close your third eye tightly in a wince. Daniel’s nails clasp around it. You kick your legs and scream in sheer pain as he begins to rip it out. You can feel the world pulling away from you, your connection with everything being severed.

 

When his weight lifts off you and his hands release your eye you’re panting on the ground. You look up at the man in the golden suit standing over you he leans down and touches it with two fingers. You flinch at his blurred figure.

 

“I swear to you Daniel. If you ruined it I will have you dismantled!!!” Diego snapped and pulled you onto your feet. The world is blurred all around you a warped palate of color. You feel bile rise in the back of your throat; and the smooth coolness of metal on your neck. A sudden stinging sensation runs from you neck to up and down your back.

You can feel yourself slipping consciousness. The world begins to hyper focus and bluff like a flashing light. You shake violently and Diego lets you fall to the ground. Your body convulses on the station floor and your world fades to black around you.

 

* * *

 

 

You wake in an unfamiliar setting. Your heart is racing as you sit up. The walls of the room are pure white save for a bright smiley face above the cot you find yourself laying in. You slowly stand up and find your wounds have been dressed. You look down at the soft white cotton bandage. It’s been changed recently as no blood is visible on it.

 

“H-Hello,” You call into the bare room, “Where? Where is this? Where am I?”

 

“Hello Kevin.” A disembodied voice responds, “I am Lauren Mallard. I will be helping to walk you through your orientation as a Strex Corp employee.”

 

“I am not a Strex Corp employee!” You shout and the pain of a corrective shock ripples through your body. You fall onto your knees grabbing at what seems to be a collar around your neck.

 

“Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, you know better than to raise your voice to a superior. I’d hate to see you seriously injure yourself. Now. Let’s start over. I am Lauren Mallard, vice president of Strex Corp Synernists Incorporated. And you are?”

 

“I am Kevin,” You grind out, “And I am the radio host of the Desert Bluffs Community Radio Station!” The shock comes through again and you claw at the damnable device around your neck.

 

“Disobedience will not be tolerated Kevin. You will listen to what I have to say and you will listen attentively. You will respond with what I want to you say. Do you understand? Now tell me. What are you?”

 

“Defiant!” You growl and are shocked once again.

 

“No! Tell me!”

 

“I do not belong to you!” You’re lying on the ground now your eyes swim with tears and your nose begins to bleed.

 

“No! Tell me!”

 

“I am Kevin!” You shout as the electricity wracks your body again. Your ears ring, your hands are curled into tight balls that you can no longer open. You taste iron in your mouth and open it to a steady stream of blood that pours out.

 

“Tell me who you are.” Lauren grinds out one last time.

 

You can’t find words to respond as you spit a clot of blood onto the ground in front of you. The electricity runs through you again and you lose consciousness. You head falling forward into the bloodied mess.

 

 

* * *

 

You wake in a chair. Your hands are bound to the arms of the chain and your feet to the legs. There is a cart in the corner or the metal room. Its contents are covered with a white sheet but you can see definition in it. The door opens and closes as a masked man in a white coat steps inside. He taps a clip board in his hands with a pen a couple times.

 

“Alright Kevin. It seems you had a bit of an altercation with your supervisor Ms. Mallard earlier. You know Kevin. We can’t be having that kind of push back. We need compliance in our workers. So we’ll be upping to volts of your emotional correctness collar. Don’t worry, as long as you comply and stay happy. You won’t suffer any ill effects.” He uncovered the sheet and pulled out some kind of scalpel, “This won’t hurt a second more than it should.” He grinned a toothy unnerving grin and walked around to the back of you.

 

The feeling of metal on skin initially is alarming and you tighten your hands while grinding your teeth. As the pain begins to register you start to scream and press against your restraints. You blood runs down the back of your neck and your eyes close tightly. You can feel tears welling up in your eyes and then streaming down the sides of your face. You begin panting between screams as the masked man digs his blade into you.

 

“Now Kevin! You sound like a child with all that screaming!” He laughs and you can feel his fingers invading you under the skin pushing and jostling with what you can only assume are wires. “I know I haven’t hurt you that bad yet! And think about just how willing you’ll be to accept orders now! You’ll be much, much more productive once we’ve fix you up!”

 

 

You’re returned to the room. Stiches crawl up the back of your neck closing in the wire. You’re trembling less so than before but the aftershock of your surgery still stays with you. You sit slowly on your cot and close your eyes. The despair and confusion weigh heavily onto you and you put your face in your hands.

 

You can feel the tightness in your chest begin to grow. Small whimpers pass your lips at first, but they soon gain volume and you begin to sob. Your chest heaves as you take in a breath only to release it in a wet sob. The salty water sticks to your hands. You run one salt water coated hand through your black hair and place the other over your mouth. You suck in a pained breath and open your eyes to stare through their blurredness at the ground.

 

“Now Kevin,” Lauren’s voice says over the loud speaker and you look around the room with panicked eyes. “Who are you?” She repeats, picking up where she left off.

 

“I…” The words feel like poison in your mouth, “I’m the voice of Strex Corp Synernists Incorporated.” 

 

“Good boy Kevin. Now, let’s begin with our agenda hm?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

You are awoken to the click of your door and the sound of a sliding metal tray on the ground. It has been a year since you arrived in this place. In this hell. With only the voice of Lauren to keep you company and conversation. She usually is not angered by you, not anymore at least. And you try to be as polite as possible to her. You will never forget the week she left you in the room in the dark and silence for speaking back to her about Strex and its policies. The relief you’d felt when she came back had been so much that you’d started crying out of joy. She is the only connection you have to the outside world.

 

The tray in front of you houses some kind of gray gelatinous mass that giggles when you poke it. Maybe they would have given you a fork if you hadn’t tried to kill yourself with the last one. So you’d have to use your hands to consume it. You make a disgusted face at the blob and leave it on the ground returning to your cot.

 

“Kevin eat.” Lauren’s voice says over the loud speaker.

 

“No.” You respond flatly and feel a small warning sting of electricity.

 

“Kevin you need to eat.” Lauren tells you.

 

You glare and swing your legs back over the side of the cot and pick up the tray. You sit it on your lap and run your finger into the mess. It’s warm on the inside and has chunks of some kind of meat in it. You stifle a gag as you lick it off your hand. It’s repulsive and the taste is just about as horrible as the look.

 

“How is your sustenance Kevin? Delicious I assume.” Lauren sneers over the loud speaker. This is a test. She wants you to tell her that it’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever put in your body. But you resist the bait.

 

“It’s wonderful Lauren. Truly exceptional. Please do give my compliments to the chef. They are really doing some extraordinary work with their limited ingredients. I know I certainly couldn’t come up with anything as inspired and delectable as this dish.”

 

“Oh Kevin you really are just too much.” She laughs. It’s a fake laugh you know. She’s upset that she didn’t get the pleasure of seeing you wriggle in pain. If you keep it up just long enough then maybe, they’ll begin to believe that you’re actually okay with being their tool. For now, though, you are almost sure, they can see right through your façade.

 

You force yourself to stomach down the rest of the grey mass. It slithers its way into your stomach and you can feel it settle on the bottom. Lauren begins her string of questioning as you sit on the end of your cot. Its typically basic questions about yourself or things you grew up knowing. She tries to get as personal as possible. You know it’s so she can crack you from the inside out. You don’t have much of a choice in the matter as if she feels you are being untruthful or telling a lie she’ll send that much hated electric shock through your body.

 

It only feels like a few minutes before she is wrapping up with a ‘Thank you very much for participating Kevin goodnight’ and turning off her mic. The lights above you flicker and go out sending you into the pitch black. You lay back on your cot and attempt to close your eyes. You third eye has been shot ever since the incident with Daniel, so you can’t even get a clear reading on your surroundings. Then again Diego probably took preventative measures to ensure you wouldn’t escape and…Diego…

 

The stirrings of betrayal come on fast and you find yourself in fetal position. You see Diego’s charming smile under the moon light. Walking out of a store. Greeting you outside your home. Laughing as you are both launched through your door and into the dairy aisle after an, almost, very successful date. You find yourself doing this pretty often when the lights go out. Reflecting on better things. Sure… Diego was faking through your entire relationship, and you were led into a lie, and he did shoot you in the stomach. 

 

But he also took care of you through you through your heat. When you were far too tired to get out of bed, much less take care of yourself the way you needed. Or when your car broke down and you needed a lift to the station. He was right there with his cheeky grin and a witty comment about the situation. His soft smile, his gentle hazel eyes. How, how could he do that to you. How could he make you fall so utterly in love with him and then betray you; attempt to kill you!

 

You clutch your knees to your chest and fight the urge to cry. You need to stop crying. Your collar beeps in a warning and you try to fight it back. You bring your crying to a halt and find yourself laughing instead, soft laughter. It feels alleviating to make some kind of noise. You continue to softly chuckle into the darkness. Your laughter grows more and more in volume until you’re practically crying from laughter. Tears stream down the sides of your face and you hold yourself close. It’s so funny. So, so, funny. This entire situation, why it’s the best joke you’ve ever heard. You’re the best joke you’ve ever heard. You laugh and laugh and laugh until the sweet release of sleep over takes you and carries you away.

 

* * *

 

 

You wake up before the lights in your room come on and you lean over the side of your cot vomit spills out of your mouth and you can feel your temples pulsating. You release a whimper as a second wave over comes you. You’re sweating badly and your body aches. You try to force yourself up but it causes the room to spin around you. You step over the pool of vomit on the floor and stumble around in the darkness. Your abdomen constrains itself and you grunt in pain. You shake as you walk around the smell is beginning to permeate the room.

 

The lights turn on in the room and a metal tray slides in with the same mass as yesterday on it. The sight of it alone causes you to gag and almost hurl. You lean against a wall to steady yourself and you pant. You can’t seem to get in enough air. The air in the room feels too thin and you wipe sweat off your face.

 

“Good Morning Kev-oh my god!” You hear Lauren yell over the loud speaker. “I need help! I need help in here!!!” She sounds frantic and you can hear the blaring of a siren. The walls of your room turn to a red color. There’s a shuffling of papers and what sounds like a door closing. “I just all I did was turn on the monitor to see how he was. He hasn’t eaten yet. I don’t know what’s wrong I just.”

 

“If you ruin this I swear to you Lauren. I will make it my personal duty to see that you never walk again.” It’s Diego’s voice. You feel so small and lost. It’s probably the fever talking to you that makes you call out to him.

 

“D-Diego…” You struggle, “I don’t feel well please.” You beg, “Please…please help…” You pitifully put your head onto the wall and close your eyes panting. The room is quiet save for your panting for a good ten minutes before Diego breaks the silence.

 

“Alright. Take him to the infirmary. We’ll run diagnostics on him. He’ll be kept out of cell until the virus clears itself. It’ll give us a chance to look at his eye as well. If it gets more serious I want to be called in immediately.” 

 

“Yes Sir.” Lauren says and you hear the door close again.

 

You aren’t positive how much time passes before they come into your room. They put a bag over your head and hold your hands behind your back. You feel much too weak to fight against them and let them walk you away. It’s the first time you’ve been out of your room since your voltage had to be upped. And the first time you’ve exited waking on your own two feet.

The floor changes from white to a soft grey and you know you’ve entered the infirmary. They take the bag off your head and a woman in a white lab coat jumps in front of you. You sniffle and one of the transporters pushes you forward.

 

“Diego said to run diagnostics on him and to treat his mental state. He’s to be in your care until he has returned to full physical health.” The transporter tells the woman.

 

“U-Understood.” The woman says and looks at you with mild disgust as your transporters leave. She pats a table and you sit on it your arms wrapped around yourself holding you close. Your tattoos squirm close to you, their coloration significantly faded. She glances at them, “Intriguing…” She mumbles and turns your hand over in her own.

 

You pull your hand back away from her. She glares at you with contempt. You return the gaze. She scoffs and walks away to fiddle with some vials. You can hear the clicking of them on one another. She mumbles to herself while she mixes them into one another and fills a syringe.

 

“Don’t fight me Kevin,” She says sternly and injects the concoction into your arm. You never liked needles but the combination of illness and downright exhaust makes you compliant to her will. She watches you as the drugs begin their take over. Pushing you further and further into a restful state. She pushes you onto your back and you go down willingly.

 

You can’t feel anything your whole body is numb. You see her walk back and forth across the room and see her approach you once or twice to say something. You can’t process exactly what it is but you assume it must be something good and chuckle at her. She doesn’t seem to find this amusing in the least.

 

She reaches toward your forehead, toward your third eye and the sedatives seem to have never taken affect. The world moves in hyper slow motion as you snap up and sink your pointed teeth into her hand biting down hard; you feel her bones crack. You hear her curse and pull her hand away. You can taste blood in your mouth, her blood. She glares and pulls out a radio speaking into it. She looks annoyed. You’re confused as to why.

 

It’s not long before the familiar face of Diego walks into the room. His hair is still slicked back and he smells of an expensive cologne. He walks over to you and he smiles like he used to when you’d tell him a joke.

“Kevin,” He chuckles, “Did you bite this nice lady here?” You nod meekly in response. You don’t know if he’s angry or amused but you assume the former. “Well, if you were that hungry you could’ve just told us.” He jokes and he runs his hand through your hair. “He’s hot. Bring him a cold towel.” Diego instructs the woman who is bandaging her hand. She stares at Diego with her mouth agape. “Did I ask you to catch flies with your mouth? Go.” Diego instructs her and she walks out of the room.

 

He places a hand on your back and forces you into a sitting position. He pulls a pen light out of his pocket and shines it into your eyes watching them dilate. He makes a bit of an annoyed noise. You lean into his arm and rub your face on him. He smiles a little.

 

“Awfully needy aren’t you? Your third eye isn’t dilating. That’s not good. We’ll have to look at it closer.” Diego strokes your hair gently while you lean into him. If you close your eyes now you could pretend you weren’t here. That you were back at your home in Desert Bluffs. That Diego actually was an accountant who had taken an interest in you that night at the bar. That nothing was premeditated.

 

“Diego,” You mumble and he rests his chin on the top of your head. He’s curling your hair around his finger.

 

“Yes Kev?” He muses and nuzzles you. You don’t have anything to say you just wanted to hear his voice. He lets out a sigh, “Have you been eating? I can feel your bones.” The hand not running through your hair is pressed to your stomach, “We can’t have you starving yourself especially not when you have a risk of getting sick now.” You listen to his heart beat and your eye lids feel heavy.

 

You should be scared. You should be afraid. You should turn tail and run away from him, but he’s so comforting that you simply can’t. The scientist girl returns with a cold rag and Diego gently pats it against your forehead, and softly over your third eye. He’s serious in his motions as he does it.

 

“Yes. When this fever blows over I think you’ll be ready to mingle with the others.” He practically cradles you and it’s like all the fight has left your body, “You’ve been in solitary too long. It’s taken a toll on you. Look how faded you are, hm?” He runs a hand over your tattoos, “Goodness…you’re gorgeous.” 

 

* * *

 

 

The fever takes two weeks to blow over. Every day you’re greeted by Diego, until he is called away to attend to some matter or another. He stays next to you, and runs his hands through your hair and you forget about the bad he caused you. Now that he’s intervened your status has seemed elevated. No one is trying to harm you, your electric shocks come a lot more frequently, and your food looks like food instead of grey jello.

 

When you are 100% Diego takes you down a twist of hallways until you reach a sliding metal door. It opens and inside you see some community members. Some sit against the walls of the room, others sleep in cots, some chat quietly to one another. When the door opens however all eyes fall to you. A hush spreads across the room.

 

“Kevin…?” A voice from the wall says and you’re nudged inside before the door closes behind you trapping you in with the residents.

 

“He-Hello,” You say nervously, “It’s me… Kevin.”

 

“Kevin!” The voice shouts and you look up to see Vanessa hurrying toward you. She pulls you tightly into a hug. You feel a surge of panic and shove her away with all your might. You’re breathing heavy and your hands tremble. Vanessa looks hurt and concerned.

 

“Kevin? What’s wrong? What did they do to you?” She asks.

 

You shake your head no, “Nothing… they didn’t..., I just don’t like being restrained…”

 

Vanessa looks at you with doubt, “Come on.” She said and gestures for you to follow her back toward the others. Some peer at you warily, others avert their eyes and pretend not to be interested in you, even more whisper as you pass. Vanessa stops at a small group in the corner and you recognize Vanessa’s girlfriend, Ava, almost immediately. Everything about her is the same save for her left arm. It has been replaced with a metal robotic one. “Ava… look who it is.” Vanessa says.

 

“Kevin!” Ava smiles at you. She looks blissful and happy, “I’m glad to see that you have accepted Strex Corp and their business. They will be so happy to have you.”

 

You stare at her with a look of confusion. Vanessa walks you away so the two of you are far enough away from Ava to be out of ear shot.

 

“She’s been like that since they replaced her arm. Her and a couple other residents. I wasn’t injured in the fight, so I’m still okay but… I don’t know with them… Kevin.” Vanessa said and stared you in the eyes, “We need to get out of here. Even if we can’t go back to the Bluffs we have to escape this facility. We can run to Nightvale, or even further.”

 

“But… I don’t… I don’t want to leave…” You say looking down and to your horror you realize that you don’t. You would be perfectly content staying in the Strex facilities. Being watched over and taken care of by Strex. They were so kind to you while you were weak. They couldn’t be that horrible if they put that much effort into ensuring your comfort.

 

“Kevin are you nuts? They shot you!” Vanessa shouts in surprise, “They aren’t good people Kevin. They’re manipulative as hell. They trick you into being obedient but the moment you step out of line, its electrocution and punishment”

 

“But they took care of me when I was sick they can’t be that bad.”

 

“Kevin. Why would I lie to you? Me who helped you hide illegal items before all this crap. The one person you said is like family to you in this world. What reason would I have to lie to you?” Vanessa said pain in her eyes.

 

You feel like you’ve been snapped out of a trance as her words sink in. She’s right she’s so right. How could you have been so stupid as to trust Strex you knew better. One soft praise after years of isolation and you just accept it all. Stupid Kevin, stupid, stupid, stupid Kevin.

 

“Alright.” You tell Vanessa, “Let’s get out of here.”

 

 

* * *

 

The plan is simple. When they bring in the food for breakfast you and Vanessa will take down one of the guards. You’ll steal their tranquilizer and make a break for it. No matter how much the electrocution hurts you can’t stop running. You just need to keep running and if you have to, tranquilize anyone who gets in your way. 

You wait by the door, and Vanessa stands amongst the others. You nod at her and she nods back. The door opens next to you and you look at the guards who walk into the room bringing in trays of food with them. They bend over to set them down and that’s when you lunge for the tranquilizer gun. The guard’s partner pulls his out but Vanessa tackles him. You grab the gun and go. Vanessa running behind you.

 

You hear the blare of sirens. Panic begins to set in. You want to cease walking. You want to stop and turn back and go to the room. But Vanessa is shouting behind you and you center yourself again pumping your arms to speed up.

 

“Kevin!” A stern voice calls from ahead and you see Diego standing with his arms crossed over his chest and scowling at you. Your feet come to a slow stop. “What do you think you’re doing.” Diego scolds. You feel like a dog who’s made a mess on the carpet and flinch. In a flash Vanessa catches up to you and pulls the tranquilizer gun out of your hand firing it at Diego. He gasps in shock at the sudden assault and grabs the dart pulling it out. You see him go down with a thud.

 

“LETS GO!!!” Vanessa yells at you and drags you behind her. Your eyes are wide in shock as she pulls you along.

 

“Vanessa I don’t think this is a good idea!” You shout in panic.

 

“Shut up Kevin! I’m getting us out of here.” Vanessa says and turns down a dead end hallway, “Shit.” She holds the tranquilizer gun tightly in hand prepared to fight her way out.

 

The Strex Corp security has caught up with you at this point and have you boxed into the dead end hallway. Vanessa puts herself in front of you puffing out her chest. One of the security guards moves and Vanessa fires at them. 

 

But nothing comes out of her gun.

 

She exchanges a look of horror with you as a bullet rips through her skull taking out one of her eyes. You press against the wall and cover your mouth to stifle a scream. Vanessa’s blood splatters onto you and the wall behind you. Another bullet runs through the front of her head and Vanessa falls to the ground. Your body is shaking violently and you can feel hot tears run down your face. You kneel by Vanessa and cradle her head in your lap. 

 

“Vanessa… oh god… Vanessa…” You repeat as her blood pours onto you. You run your hand over her forehead moving her curls out of the way of her face. You swallow but it’s a dry swallow and gets caught in your throat. Another bang goes off, but you don’t look your eyes running over your dead friends face. You can hear shouting from the guards in front of you.

 

“ARE YOU STUPID!?” You can hear Diego yell.

 

“They tried to escape.” The guard stammers.

 

“Our entire plan is for shit if you kill him! Why do you think we chose this town!? Why do you think we chose these people!? Not for compliance! I assure you of that!”

 

“I’m sorry sir I didn’t know!” The guard yells. You hear a crack and then silence. Your whimpers echo in the halls. You feel hands under your arms attempt to drag you to your feet, but you go dead weight refusing to move. 

 

“NO!” You yell clutching her head, “No! Not Vanessa! You can’t!” Your arms wrap around her tightly.

 

“Kevin get up you are not free of blame in this incident. It is my understanding you were the one who stole the tranquilizer gun in the first place. You must be punished.” Diego’s voice is cold and empty, like it was at the radio station, “Now get up.”

 

“You think I care!” You grind out at him. You can feel a curse on your tongue and fight rumbling in your chest. “Punish me! Kill me! I don’t care…I don’t care…” You voice turns to a soft whisper as you stay tightly curled around Vanessa.

 

You feel the tight grip of Diego’s hand rip you away from her and onto your feet. You don’t think much the rage and anger in your body whimpering into pure anguish. You scream loudly, eyes screwed shut tightly. Glass windows crack and Diego’s grip on you loosens enough for you to pull away and return to holding Vanessa. He doesn’t look scared or afraid of you. He looks angry. Enraged even.

 

“Kevin this is not a game!” He says and puts a foot on Vanessa’s chest.

 

“Get off her!” You growl and primitively bare your razor teeth at him.

 

“Off who?” Diego says and pushes further in. He’s smiling at you, but his eyes are dark and emotionless.

 

“You’re going to hurt her!” You plead with him hands still around her head.

 

He stomps into her and you can hear her bones snap under his weight. You release a cry of anguish and your collar’s electric correctness finally kicks in causing your focus to waver for a moment. A moment that Diego uses to take control of the situation. He grabs you by your shirt collar and lifts you up pushing you into the wall. He glares for a moment before tossing you toward the guards. You stumble but don’t fall.

 

“Walk.” He demands. You look at him shaking and slowly take a step forward.

 

“I SAID WALK KEVIN DAMNIT!” Diego snaps and you take another step away. He grimaces and walks over to you grabbing your arm again. He begins to drag you away through the guards. You trip over your feet to keep up with him until he comes to a door. He unlocks it and throws you inside.

 

The room is pitch black and can’t make out any shapes. You hurry back to the door and try to pry it open to no avail. You fall back into the dark trembling. You’re still in shock from the events that just unfolded. You laugh quietly under your breath craving the release but not prepared to endure the shock of the collar.

 

“Ha…ha…. Vanessa…ha…she’s uh…haha…she’s really gone huh? Ha. Haha….” Your body shakes quietly in the dark room. It’s walls feel suffocating. Tears run down your face but you continue to laugh. It’s so funny. You think. It’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard.

 

 

* * *

 

It must be days before the door to the dark room opens. You push yourself into the corner away from the light. It’s too bright and hurts to look at. You huddle in on yourself closely as Diego’s silhouette comes into view. He comes into focus as he walks toward you.

 

“Hello Kev,” He says softly kneeling before you. He cups your head and runs a thumb over your chin. “Let’s go for a walk alright. Look,” He shakes a bottle of water at you, “I know you’re thirsty.”

 

You practically tear the water bottle out of his hands and bite into the side of it not bothering with unscrewing the cap. You suck the water out of it through the side greedily. Diego just watches you quietly until you drop the empty bottle.

 

“If you come with me we can get you some food too?” He says and runs is hand through your hair. You hesitantly nod at him. He stands and holds a hand out to you. You tentatively take it into your own.

 

He opens the door and the two of you step into the hallway. He walks you down past the holding cells that you’re used to seeing. The white floors and walls begin to turn grey and concrete. Diego laces your fingers together and flashes you one of his charming smiles. You look at him and smile back.

 

“Kevin.” He says light heartedly.

 

“Yes Diego…?” You respond still a little warry of him.

 

“I want to see you smile. All the time. Would you be okay with that?”

 

“Of course Diego.” You tell him and let a smile stay on your face.

 

“That’s excellent Kevin. Here into this room okay?” Diego says and unlocks a door walking in with you. It’s dim and hard for you to see but you can make out a chair, a long window, and some kind of projection screen. “Please take a seat Kevin.” He says and gestures for you to sit down. You walk over and sit in the chair crossing your legs nervously. 

 

Diego smiles and crosses over to you. He puts your hands on the arms of the chair and leans in close to you rubbing his face against yours. His hands rest on top of yours. He rests his chin in the crook of your neck. You feel the senseless abandon that you’re used to creeping its way back into you.

 

“Kev,” He coos. You struggle to remind yourself not to trust him. That he’s the reason your friends dead. Him and his damnable company. That he cracked Vanessa’s ribs right in front of you. “Kev, I’m sorry,” He says in the most pitiful voice you think you’ve ever heard, “I’ve been so nasty to you. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me please Kevin? Please?” He kisses your neck and you melt.

 

“O-Of course Diego,” You respond to him.

 

“Thank you Kev,” He says gently and straightens up, “I’ll go get you food okay? Don’t move.” He exits and you stay in the room. Your eyes have begun to adjust and you can now make out the window which takes up a large portion of the room.

 

The rooms door opens and a man in a white coat steps inside. You recognize him immediately. He’s the man who adjusted your emotional correctness collar. He waves at you with a sick smile and sets a medical bag down on the ground. He makes his way behind where you’re sitting. Your eyes follow him but you find that your arms are strapped to the chair.

 

You can feel your breath catch in your throat and strain against your restraints. The projector flips on and Strex Corps logo is pasted onto the wall. Your mouth is as dry as cotton as your movements grow more frantic.

 

“D-Diego!” You cry out for help, “Diego help! Help me!”

 

“Now Kevin. I thought we agreed that tantrums get you nowhere,” The man in the white coat says as he pushes your head back against the chair, pulling a strap over your forehead to secure you in. You attempt to thrash to get out but the bonds are too tight. The man in the white coat chuckles under his breath as he slides a rag into your mouth, “I’d suggest not spitting it out. You’ll want something to bite onto.” 

 

He pulls a needle and thread out of his pocket. The projector’s slides begin to flash different images, teeth, blood, Strex’s logo. It all moves so fast that you can’t process what is what. You feel the needle slide into the upper lid of your third eye and you squeeze your eyes shut quickly growling at the pain. The man has no reaction and passes it through the lower lid. He continues going back and forth with the process in numbing silence while you scream into the rag.

 

When he’s finally finished with the process you open your yellow eyes at him. They’re swimming with fear. Your heart is pounding. You’re sure he plans to kill you now. Your tattoos pulsate under your shirt. Your tattoos! You think. They can help you get out of here! You try your best to will them into manifestation. They squirm and lift slightly off your skin.

 

A woman’s voice in your head long since forgotten warns you against it. Tells you that you could seriously injure yourself like that. That they are only to be used in dire emergencies.  If this isn’t that then you don’t know what is.

 

“Not so fast Kevin,” The man in the white coat says and pushes down the on the manifesting tattoos. You don’t expect it to hurt as much as it does and you hiss into the rag. The man in the white coat pulls a lighter out of his pocket and ignites it. He presses it to your skin where your tattoos are. They attempt to hide seeking to move further up your arm but he follows and presses the flame to your skin.

 

You back arches and you curse the rag dropping out of your mouth. He stares you blankly and moves to the other arm. You try to tug away, to do anything but the restraints prevent you. You’re panting as your body tenses and you attempt to break the restrains or your arms, which ever gets you out.

 

The man places the lighter back into his pocket and opens his bag pulling out a scalpel.

 

“You know Kevin. Yellow eyes are a natural mutation away from humans. Even human residents of Desert Bluffs don’t possess those traits. Trust me. This won’t hurt nearly as much as you expect it to… or maybe it will. We’ll just have to see.” He shrugs and laughs. The blade runs over your cornea.

 

“Fuck!” You shout into the room and grind your teeth. You scratch at the chair with your nails. They make a loud shrieking noise.

 

The man pulls out a syringe and injects black liquid into your eye. It burns you and you shriek again. You scream long anguished. You’re sure they can hear you in the other rooms. You hope they can. You want them to know. You want them to know just how much pain you’re in. He moves to the other eye and cuts it open just like the first, injecting it with the liquid. You attempt to close your eyes but find you’re unable. The man in the white coat reaches into his bag putting away the scalpel and syringe; and pulls out gauze.

 

Your heart sinks in your chest. You feel completely powerless for the first time since coming here. You always felt some level of control over yourself but now. With your eyes forced open and your third one shut tightly, you feel truly powerless. So you begin to laugh as he places gauze over your eyes. He wraps it tightly around you and your vision fades to black. You cackle hysterically. Until he finishes and undoes your restraints.  You don’t fight him, you let him walk you back to your dark room. 

 

“Thank you friend.” You tell him before hearing the door lock.

 

 

* * *

 

“Kevin food.” A guard says and enters your room placing a tray on the ground in front of you.

 

“Oh! Thank you!” You say and smile at him, your bandages have yet to be removed so you’re sure that its at least a little offset. Your fingers tap your leg nervously, “Say. Could you come a little closer please?”

 

“Is something wrong?” The guard asks his voice wavering.

 

“No. Just come a little closer…” You tell him and he kneels down next to you. The food smell permeates the air. But you aren’t interested in that. You have something else in mind.

 

“If you need something I can get it for you?” He says and you wrap your hands around his neck. You laugh, and laugh, and laugh as you hear his flesh tear and his strangled voice escape his throat in garbled pleas. You bite into his neck, the iron taste coats your tongue and you feel your heart race. You come away his throat clenched between tight teeth. You disgust yourself. But you just keep laughing.

 

Another guard walks in and fires a tranquilizer at you. It sinks into your flesh and you pull it out. The drug doesn’t seem to make you tired at all. In fact, all you can hear in your ears is your blood and heartbeat. You lunge at this guard as well sinking your teeth into his face. He screams and you keep biting down. Your brain tells you to stop, to release him, but you don’t. You pull and tear, coming away with what feels like a nose. You drop it to the floor and dig your nails into his throat, reaching in and ripping his wind pipe out of him.

 

All the while you’re laughing and laughing. You sit on the ground next to the two guards and run your hands through them. Lungs, hearts, tongues. You hold them in your hands and squeeze them till they pop. It’s funny! You can’t stop laughing. You’re so happy. So deliriously happy.

“Kevin!” Diego’s voice barks and you’re brought back into reality. You fearfully drop the organs you hold in your hand. The blood smell hurts your head and you lean over vomiting into the viscera. You feel him pick you up and haul you into a corner of the room.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” You repeat over and over, “I’m sorry…” Diego runs his hand through your hair.

 

“Sorry for what?” Diego says and lightly chuckles, “You did exactly what we wanted you to Kevin. You’re on your way to being fully integrated into the Strex family. Keep that up and you’ll be able to join the rest of the Desert Bluffs residents back at home. I’m proud of you Kevin.” Diego coos and plants a kiss on your forehead, just above your sewn up eye.

 

The next few weeks blur together for you. Flashes of blood and tears and teeth fill your memory. Always to bring you back to them. To the final moments of the guards lives. Always locked in. Always screaming and pleading with you not to hurt them. Always ending with Diego’s lips pressed to your head and praise.

You cry at night. Not that that’s anything new. You feel strung out. You wonder how many years you’ve been in your black room. How long has it been since you tried to run away with Vanessa? You cannot say for sure but it feels like decades have gone by. That you in this place are moving too fast.

 

You do not want to harm anybody. But it’s like another you is in control of your life. You wish for your old home for your old bed. You wish for your cream colored carpet and your door that only opens after three clicks. You miss being in that desert other world on the second click, and the dairy aisle on the first. You pine for the almond milk now.

 

You stare blankly at the floor. Your eyes are black now. Soulless black pits that take and take and take. You stay curled in the back of the room. You ears typically hear nothing but today, you hear the mumbling of a familiar voice.

 

“I believe now that the technical difficulties have been taken care of…I should give you an update on the screaming vortex at the Nightvale mall, you won’t believe.” It’s Cecil! It’s Cecil! Half of your mind curses him for lying to you and the other half longs to reach out to ask him for help. You clear you throat before you speak.

 

“Oh no. Hello?” He calls into the mic.

 

“Cecil,” You say relieved, “Cecil… old friend…I’m here.” You say but realize that you do not know where here is.

 

“You sound different.” He says, “When is this radio signal coming from?” He sounds concerned, “When are you in your life?”

 

You pause to think about it a moment, you do not know that either. “I am very old,” You tell him in your best guess, “It has been many years since I last spoke to you. It’s great to hear your voice again…it’s great to hear any… voice… again…”

 

“I’ll admit this is a little exciting,” Cecil says, “How is the future?”

 

“Desolate.” You say and tug on the end of your shirt.

 

“Okay… not what I expected if I’m honest…”

 

You let out a sigh of anguish, “What Strex Corp and their smiling god did to my wonderful little town. What they did to me. I’m not myself anymore.” You confess to Cecil. Someone has to know. “I’m a smile. And a twitch of the wrist. It has been years Cecil. I’ve drifted away from myself. Sometimes I am one me, and then again I am the other. What they did to the sentient heat trapped temporarily inside my body.” You stare at your hands, coated in dried blood and scars.

 

“Oh Kevin,” Cecil’s sympathetic voice says over the radio.

 

“Kevin,” You repeat and smile, “Even my name is a strange figment My tongue has forgotten how to form the word. And once,” You pause and think back, “I was so good with words.” You look out at the teeth and bones scattered over your room, “Now I am an ancient thing. Withered away by what they did to me all those years ago…”

 

You think back on words that you could have only been told by your mother at Sunday school, “The power of the Smiling God is an endless flow. It ebbs, like the tides, but like the tides, it returns.  I think about what I could have been if I had never encountered Strex. I imagine an entire life without them.” You smile to yourself, “It makes me happy. I picture every detail, I try to live it in real time, but it is only a slight sweet fiction, and dissolves like sugar into water.”

 

You can feel tears beading up in the corners of your eyes, “Oh Cecil! I wish you could have known me before… before Strex… before it all… when I was just a dedicated community radio host like you… I wish you had known me. I wish we could have been friends…” You say and wait quietly; but Cecil does not respond. You feel electricity run through you as you cry into your hands, “come back… please come back...”

 

* * *

 

Diego steps into your room one morning and your eyes dash over to him. You still hold a guard’s heart in your hands, its blood runs down your arms and coats your sleeves. Your chin is wet with the disgusting concoction. You smile at Diego with pointed teeth and hold it out to him.

              “No thank you Kev,” Diego purrs and presses his nose next to yours, “Kevin do you remember what you said you’d do for me?” You tilt your head to him.

 

              “What did I tell you? I don’t remember, but I’ll do it Diego. I’ll do it for you.” You say and put your hands in his lap.

 

              Diego pulls out a knife and puts it into your hands, “Don’t stop smiling Kevin.” He says and stands to his feet walking out of the room. You know what you have to do. You hold the knife and turn it over examining the handle. You trace your smile curiously and stretch it so it reaches up to your cheek. You place the blade in your mouth and pull.


	2. 2

You are sitting in the passenger seat of Diego’s mustang. The windows are tinted all around so the sun doesn’t bother you as much as it has been. Diego says it’ll pass. You don’t believe him. You squeeze your eyes shut and grumble under your breath. Diego reaches out and pats your hair down with one hand, “It’s not that far Kev. Soon we’ll have you home, and then you can start talking on the radio again. Won’t that be fun?”

 

“It’s too bright…” You complain and cover your face. Diego chuckles and places one hand on your own, running his thumb over your knuckles. You glance out the window at the houses melding into one another. Their fronts are red with blood, and their lawns long since dead. Diego says nothing as your car rolls down the street unpassed by any other vehicles.

 

You pass your radio station green paint chipped away to expose brick underneath.  You sit up quietly your eyes lock onto it as you drive by. You long for your station, for your mic and sound board. You tap your fingers against the window of Diego’s car but keep quite as it fades away behind you.

 

“Kev, hon,” Diego says glancing at you, “What’re you staring at?” Your eyes fall back to him and you relax back into your seat.

 

“Nothing.” You respond and fiddle with the dials on his car. You turn on his ac and rest your head against the cold air. Diego puts his eyes back on the road as he keeps going. The buildings around you slowly fade for buisnesses, to small homes, to medium sized homes. You see the terracotta colored door of your house pass by you in a blur.

 

“Diego….” You ask curiously, “Where are we going? We passed my house.”

 

“Mhmm,” Diego says and keeps driving. The houses become more and more scarce. Patches of desert separate them from one another. Your eyes follow the path of the car to a house far enough away from the rest that it would take a decent enough run to get to the main part of town.

 

Diego pulls up to the house. It’s a deep mustard color and like your old house has a gold trim on it. Tall fences surround the property and Diego has to push a button to get past them. The tall gates close behind your car. Diego parks and steps out opening your door for you. He holds his hand out to you, “Come on. Come with me.”

 

You take his hand as he walks you to the front and opens the door. The furniture inside is tan and the carpet is a soft cream. You fall onto your hands and knees and run your hands over it as if you could absorb its softness into your soul. You laugh in bliss as you lay on the ground body out stretched over the carpet’s surface. Diego is standing over you with a smile on his face.

 

“Thank you,” You smile and inhale the carpet’s smell.

 

“I’m almost afraid to give you this,” He says and hands you a record. You take it out of his hands and sit up. You recognize it almost immediately as your rain record. Your mouth opens and you glance between Diego and the record.

 

“But it’s illegal.” You say confusion sitting in.

 

“Not anymore Kev,” Diego says running his hand under your chin, “I just want you to be happy. And if that record makes you happy, well I want you to play it all the time.” You smile and lay back holding the record to your chest eyes closed. You hear the shuffle of clothing and feel Diego’s body lay next to yours. You reach out and lace your fingers with his. He turns over and presses his nose against your neck. His breath tickles your neck and you sigh content.

 

* * *

 

 

 

You wake up to Diego carrying you upstairs. Your hands are tight around his suit lapels. He looks down at you and nudges the door to a bedroom open, sitting you on the end of the bed. You sit with some difficulty your shoulders slouching forward. You didn’t realize you were as tired as you are. He comes back and motions for you to lift your arms. You shake your head and press your face against his abdomen.

 

“Kev darling,” Diego says in a testing voice, “You’re covered in blood. I’d rather you not stain the sheets with it.” You groan and lift your head to look up at him. “Stop that,” He says very firmly and pulls your sweater vest off of you. You flop back as soon as your vest is off.

 

“Diego I’m tired.”

 

“I know you’re fucking tired.” He growls, “But you are a fucking mess and you’re going to ruin the fucking sheets darling.” You roll over clinging to the blanket. “Kevin stop it!” He snaps, “You’re such a child sometimes.” He flips you back onto your back and pulls a large shirt over your head. You squirm into it and flip back onto your stomach again.

 

“I just want to sleep.” You whine into the fabric.

 

“I just want you to sleep too!” Diego says exasperated as he pulls off your pants nestling them under his arm, “Goodness Kevin go to bed.” He says and scoops up the discarded sweater vest and dress shirt.

 

You drag yourself under the covers quietly and nuzzle into the soft pillows. You feel like you’re sleeping on a cloud. Diego’s footsteps can soon be heard in the door way. A closet door opens and closes. You listen to Diego’s breath and footsteps as he paces about the room.

 

The bed dips in next to you and you feel a pair of arms wrap around your body pulling you against Diego’s figure. He rests his face on the small of your back and you inhale sharply. His breath hit against your back lighting and you can feel his chest rise and fall against you. You can say you honestly were not expecting this. You two didn’t even sleep together before everything that happened. Maybe he trusted you now? Now that you knew his secrets? Now that you WERE his secret?

 

You feel the urge to turn him over and choke him in his sleep. To watch until his face turns blue. To listen to the little gasps, he’d make before passing. He’d see how much of a monster you were then. He’d get to see for sure. You’d do it to!

 

“Augh!” You cry out as your correctness collar reminds you of it place on your neck. This startles Diego awake and he sits up quickly. You try to latch your fingers under the damnable machine pulling at it. This only earns you another shock.

 

“Kevin stop it!” Diego says and takes your hands away, “If you stay worked up like this the collar will keep shocking you!” You pull them away and claw at it as you’re electrocuted for the third time in under ten minutes. Your fingers rake at your neck, you come away with blood and skin trapped underneath your nails.

 

Diego pushes you down and sits on your chest, “Kevin I said stop! Now comply!” You hold tightly to it. Frustration causes tears to bead up in your eyes and the collar shocks you again. Diego stares down at you his hands wrapped around your wrists in an iron grip. You weep and the collar continues to do its job. Diego worriedly looks over you and gets off of your chest walking away to a restroom.

 

He comes back shaking a bottle, “Okay Kev, open up.” He instructs. But you’re too far into crying out of frustration, your hands are tangled in your hair and you tug at it. Diego opens the bottle and shakes five or six pills into his palm. He straddles your chest again and pinches your nose until you gasp for air dropping them into your mouth. He places his hand over your mouth and waits for you to swallow. Your lungs feel like they’re going to explode out of your chest and you shake.

 

“Swallow Kevin,” Diego says. You dryly swallow the pills and he releases his grip on you flopping on the bed next to you. You can feel the panic slowly subside from your body and you blink numbly tears no longer pouring out of your eyes. You relax and the collar ceases its attacks on you. Diego watches you closely and releases a breath.

 

“That was almost something,” He says and runs his hands through his hair.

 

“What was that?” You ask him knitting your eyebrows together.

 

“Don’t worry about it how do you feel?”

 

You pause and think for a moment, “Elated?”

 

“Thank the smiling god,” Diego exhales and gets off of you laying down.

 

“Thank you.” You respond quietly.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Good morning Desert Bluffs! This is your local radio host Kevin! It is another wonderful day out in the Bluffs. The sun is being particularly generous today with its heat. In fact, Grandma Josephine was telling me that she saw Tad Dougal outside. He was enjoying the sun so much that he burst into flames! I think we should take this opportunity to remind you all that if a citizen randomly combusts it is completely okay and we should be supportive of their new step taken to bring themselves closer to the smiling god!” You read over the paper in front of you for next bit of news, “Strex Corp Synernists Incorporated, the parent company of Desert Bluffs Radio, requests that Yesenia Lopez surrender her dog. They say, you don’t really need it. You just want it and it’s been staring at our solar panels really weird lately.” You speak into your mic from your seat. You have to stand on your feet slightly to give yourself enough lift.

 

The radio station door opens and you see Lauren step inside with a girl in a mustard colored polo. The typical shirt interns of the DBCR wear. You wave at Lauren.

 

“Listeners I think my new intern has just arrived. Let me tell you how exciting this is!” You peak around. Lauren’s face looks tense but you patiently wait staring at her. She has the intern pushed back into a corner spot. “Well Lauren bring her over here so I can meet her!”

 

The girl peaks at you and you feel the color drain from your face. Her frizzy maroon hair, her dark skin, her familiar jaw line. You scream and dive under your booth hyperventilating. You slam the back of your head against the side of the booth in a repetitive motion.  You can feel your collar shock you in response to the sudden spark in your heart rate.

 

“GO AWAY!!!” You scream and place your hands in your hair knotting them up and pulling. Lauren is trying to talk to you her voice quick and nervous. You can barely make out the word ‘weather’ above you. “She’s dead, you said she was dead, you told me, you told me she was dead Lauren! Lauren you said she was dead!!!” You say grabbing Laruen’s skirt bottom.

 

“Kevin, Kevin relax,” Lauren tries to calm you down, “It’s not Vanessa.”

 

“It’s not?” You say and you begin to breathe.

 

“No here,” Lauren holds a pill out to you, “Here take that, and then we’ll come meet your new intern okay?”

 

“Okay,” You whimper and take the pill from Lauren swallowing it. She takes your hand and brings you to your feet. The panic fades away as the pill does its job. Your smile becomes less carved and more genuine.

 

“Hello,” The girl says and extends her hand to you. You can see a bullet rip through her skull and her blood splatter up at you.

 

“Hello,” You respond back at her and extend your hand, “I’m Kevin.”

 

“Vanessa,” She says and you can feel her blood soaking through your slacks.

 

“You have lovely eye,” You force out.

 

“I think you mean eyes Kevin.” Lauren corrects.

 

“No.” You say flatly.

“The weather is almost over Kevin,” Lauren tells you.

 

“Right,” You say and head back to your booth, “Nice to meet you Vanessa.”

 

“The same to you Sir,” Vanessa says and you see the flesh fall off her skull and onto the ground.

 

You sit back in your chair, and push yourself up just enough to meet the mic, “Thank you Ted. I apologize for that little outburst Desert Bluffs, now where were we?”

 

* * *

 

 

You stir the pot on the stove quietly. In the background your record fills in the blank spaces. The hot steam coming off the stew fogs up your glasses and you pull them off sitting them on the counter. Your head throbs and you rub the sides of your head. A pair of arms wrap around your waist and you can feel Diego’s breath on the back of your neck.

 

“Someone’s tired,” He laughs and kisses the back of your neck.

 

“No my head just hurts a bit,” You say and he shifts to look over your shoulder.

 

“Whatcha got there?”

 

You laugh, “I honestly have no idea. I just threw a bunch of stuff into a pot.”

 

“Well that’s one way of going about eating,” Diego says sarcasm thick on his voice as he untangled his arms from you.

 

“Hey, you keep complaining about having to buy take out and that I don’t do enough while I’m home.” You say and turn the fire on the pot off, “So I made food for you.”

 

Diego peaks into the pot, “Kevin I don’t think that classifies as food.”

 

“Sure it is!” You say and pull a spoon out of your drawer scooping some up and taking a bite. You drop the spoon and cover your mouth.

 

“Well?” Diego says arms crossed over his chest.

 

“No it’s not good,” You say and spit it into a trash can, “It’s not good at all.”

 

Diego sighs and picks the spoon up off the ground and dropping it into your sink. “I’ll get the phone okay? We’ll order take out. Don’t worry about it.” His tone is mildly annoyed and you feel pangs of guilt in your stomach.

 

“Diego that’s okay, look I can make something else for you. Let me try again…” You say and reach out to stop him from leaving to get the phone.

 

“I said don’t worry about it Kevin.” He snaps walking out of the kitchen, “And throw that garbage away.” You bite the inside of your cheek till it bleeds and dump the contents of the pot down the drain. You rinse the pot down and leave it turned upside down in the sink.

 

Diego’s sitting on the couch when you come out. He waves you over and pats his lap. You lay down on the couch and put your head in his lap. He runs his fingers through your hair and stares blankly ahead. There’s no television in your house, just a radio. Diego sighs and runs a finger along your smile. You close your eyes and lean into him.

 

There’s a knock at the door and Diego gets up. You lay still on the couch and patiently wait for him to return. It’s quiet in the room save for the rain noises emitting from your record player.

 

Diego comes back holding the plastic bag in his hand. You sit up and he flops on the couch next to you. He pulls out a Chinese takeout box and opens it; he fishes through the bag and pulls out a fork. He twirls some noodles around the fork, “Here open.” He instructs and you do as he asks. He feeds you quietly, his movements decisive and his expression cold.

 

“Kevin?” Diego asks you and sinks the fork back into the noodles, “Are you afraid of me?”

 

“No Diego never,” You say and shake your head to emphasize.

 

“Then you’re very stupid.” Diego scoffs and begins to feed himself now.

 

“Why?” You ask. Diego doesn’t respond and simply keeps feeding himself. “Why.” You demand now and turn so that you’re facing him. “Why am I stupid to not be afraid of you? Tell me.” Your voice wavers but you stay firm. Diego continues to ignore you.

 

“Diego tell me!” You say and Diego pushes you back onto the couch a hand placed firmly around your neck, right underneath your collar.

 

“Do you ever shut up Kevin?! I know it’s your job to speak but for once in my life when I don’t respond to you I would like you to stop talking!”

 

Your heart beat it racing and you can feel panic rise up in your chest. You fight of flight instincts kicking in. You do the one thing you know you can do; you start to laugh quietly. Whether out of fear, or stress, or exhaustion you’re not sure but you laugh.

 

“What the hell are you laughing at!” Diego yells and squeezes your throat tightly. You choke under his grip and a sick smile stretches across his face. He keeps squeezing tighter and tighter watching your chest heave to try and drag in some kind of air.

 

When he releases you he moves down gently kissing your throat, “Kev.” He purrs and nuzzles you, “You’re so pretty. So pretty.” You’re still trying to catch a breath as he presses his lips against your collar bone. 

 

“Kev,” He coos into your ear, "I love you."

 

 

* * *

 

Vanessa brings you a cup of coffee. You nod at her and keep your hands wrapped around the mug. You tap its ceramic glass. She never talks to you. She’s incredibly quiet and you doubt she actually has any vocal cords at all. Her eyes roam over your expression and she reaches into her pocket pulling out three of the pill you’ve come to familiarize yourself with when you begin to relapse into the old you. You look up at her and she nods at you before leaving the booth.

 

You take the pills and swallow them with the coffee.  You feel any heavy hearted feelings alleviate from your chest and you exhale. A clock beeps on your desk and you flip the mic on, “The future is what you make of it! Just remember that your supplies are limited. Welcome to Desert Bluffs.”  

 

You continue through your broadcast. The sandstorm picking up outside. The sand digging at the window. Vanessa points to the window and raises an eyebrow at you. You nod and warn your listeners against leaving their cars or pets outside. Your voice continues on until you can feel the tugging’s of your consciousness give way to that _other_  you, and you feel distant from the words said to you. The silence creeping in around you.

 

You wake up on your desk your hands gripping at the soundboard. Vanessa is standing behind you in her hands are a stack of papers. You shake sleep out of your eyes.

 

“How… how long was I asleep?’ You ask her. She holds up five fingers. “Five what Vanessa, five minutes, five hours?” She points to your clock and you gasp looking over the time. It’s nine at night. You turn to Vanessa and grab her hair pulling her face next to yours.

 

“Vanessa,” You say syrupy sweetness rolling off your voice, “You moron. I have to go home now. I have to go home to my darling boyfriend and do you know what he’s going to do to me because of your little fuck up? He’s going to bash my head into the fucking counter until I can’t see straight. So do you know what I’m going to fucking do to you Vanessa?” She shakes her head no.

 

 “I’m going to do the exact same thing to you.” You swing your arm down and press Vanessa’s face to the sound board. You bring it back and slam her head against it. Her mouth opens but no scream comes out. You repeat the motion again and again until her blood runs down her forehead. You laugh as you repeat the motion, her body goes limp and you bring your hand away.

 

Exhaling you twist her neck. Her bones make a sickening crack and her flesh begins to tear. You come away with her decapitated head. Wires and skin hang down in the same place. You trace your hand around her eye socket humming and pull it out. You put it onto your desk admiring it. You take Vanessa’s head and lovingly kiss her nose, “Vanessa we should go home. I’ll make you dinner okay?”

 

Her lips part, “That sounds excellent Kevin.”

 

“It is; isn’t it!?” You squeal and walk out her head tucked under your arm, “Oh we have so much to catch up on!”

 

* * *

 

 

“Kevin where the hell were you? I’ve been sitting here waiting for you,” Diego says his arms are crossed in front of his chest.

 

“Oh Diego!” You smile, “Why you won’t believe it! Me and Vanessa were engaged in the most entertaining conversation!” You hold Vanessa out to Diego. Diego takes a quick step away. “Why Diego. Don’t be so rude. Vanessa simply wants to say hello!”

 

“He-Hello Vanessa.” He says cautiously.

 

“He’s being awfully rude Kevin,” Vanessa says and you nod. “I’m not sure I want to speak to him any longer.”

 

“Oh Vanessa please don’t get upset Diego simply doesn’t know any better!” You turn her to face you. She says nothing in response. You look up glaring at Diego, “Now look what you’ve done she doesn’t want to talk anymore!”

 

“Kevin darling,” Diego states extending his hand to you, “Let me see Vanessa please give her here.”

 

“Kevin darling?” You tuck Vanessa’s head under one of your arms and raise a brow, “I don’t know a ‘Kevin darling’ not anymore.” You take a step toward Diego and he hesitantly steps back. “I knew a Kevin darling, but he’s been dying for years and you know. I just didn’t like him quite as much as I like Kevin. So I killed him, he’s gone now, and I don’t intend on letting him come back.” You stroke Vanessa’s face, “so please. I’m not your Kevin darling, I’m not your Kev. I’m me alright? I’m Kevin.”  


 

* * *

 

 

            You sit on the floor of your living room. Vanessa sits not far in front of you. She tells you secrets sometimes. Secrets you don’t always understand. Secrets you sometimes don’t want to understand. She says the most AWFUL things about Strex Corp. She says the most engaging things about Nightvale. Beautiful, totalitarian, Nightvale. She loves Nightvale so much you could listen to her talk about it forever.

           

            Diego is not a fan of Vanessa. The two of you don’t get along at all. He even put her outside one night. You of course retrieved her. It was only natural. She was your best friend you couldn’t just leave her outside. You’d tucked her in on the couch and wished her a goodnights sleep before you returned up to your bed. 

 

            “Kevin I’m back,” Diego says as he steps into the door. He only made the mistake one time of not announcing himself. You sunk a fork into his shoulder. He always announces himself now. “Kevin I have a present.” Diego walks into the living room. A box is nestled under his arm, “I think you’ll like it.”

 

            Curiosity gets the best of you as Diego sets the box on the ground. It shakes slightly. You tap the box in response.

 

            “Now. I stress Kevin. This is not for eating.” Diego says as he opens the box up for you. You nod. The bulbous square body of some kind of creature with undefinable appendages crawls out of the box. You waggle your finger at it and it bites on hard. You chuckle and pull it off.

 

            “Well, aren’t you just the most adorable little creature I’ve ever seen.” It makes a soft chuffing noise and stumbles around in circles.

 

            “Kevin you’re bleeding.” Diego says and reaches for your hand. You pop your finger into your mouth and suck on it quietly. When you take your hand away the bites gone.

 

            “No worries.” You tell him, “All pets have to be trained.”

 

            “Well this is a Strex brand Strex Pet. We’re still fully developing them so it might have some quirks in it. I thought it would be good to test it in a home situation.” Diego says, “So it’s yours now.”

 

            “Ah! Thank you Diego!!!” You say and scoop the creature up. It hisses at you and you nuzzle it, “We’re just going to be the BESTEST of friends.”

 

 

* * *

 

          

  You can hear the bickering from the studio in your ears. It’s droning to you and you’d rather listen to anything else to put it simply. Strex Corp slowly collapsing around you was not how you intended to spend this day. Then again you don’t really remember days much anymore. It all blurs into one long continuous sunny day.

 

            “All right. Fair enough, but…look, he’s – and no offense, Cecil, but – he’s an outsider. He’s not from here. How do we know he’s not part of the super underground secret military government that is testing missiles?” The voice you recognize as belonging to Steve Carlsberg says.

 

            “Steve Carlsberg! Did you just accuse my boyfriend of being a secret operative?” Cecil. You feel a deep seated pit of hatred roll in your stomach and hide.

 

            “Well... uhm yeah?” Steve says as you slide down tuned in.

 

            “Because that’d be pretty cool, actually!”

           

“No, it wouldn’t! It’s dangerous!”

 

            “That’d be awesome!”

 

            “It’s dangerous awesome!”

 

            You roll your eyes at them.

 

            “But– but it is– nevertheless, it is not true, Steve. Plus, how many times do I have to tell you that there is nothing secret about the secret missile testing? It is as American as using drug-laced apple pie to test the effects of hallucinogens on innocent citizens!”

 

            Okay you officially cannot just sit and listen to them bicker anymore.

 

            “I think he brings up a good point Cecil.” You say as you come out of your hiding spot.

 

            “You! How did you get in here?” Cecil snaps at you.

 

            “Hey, thanks interloper! Woah, cool eyes!” Steve says leaning in toward your face.

 

            “Oh, thank you! I wish I could say the same.” You respond and turn to Cecil, “Cecil, listen, it’s hard to get work done when there’s all this fighting! And it’s hard to smile when there’s no working! And if we aren’t smiling, then what value do we have?” You tap your teeth, “Watch me smile!” Your split teeth smile widely at your double.

 

            “You monster!” Cecil growls.

 

            “That was really gross!” Steve says face upturned in disgust. “Do it again!” He says tone changing to eagerness.

 

            “Look at how much better we all feel from that! But right now, no one is being productive. There are angels…” You say as the duo scrambles to deny the angels existence, “And a desert army out there battling! For what? For Hooded Figures? For Forbidden Dog Parks? For a Glow Cloud?” You can feel your irritation glowing as you’re met with their ‘all hail’ which frankly you never understood. “For the constant terror of a Secret Police who can invade your home at any time, without so much as a letter from Human Resources?” You respond exasperatedly.

 

            “But they are our Hooded Figures. And it is our Glow Cloud!” Cecil says firmly, “And this is our town! And it is terrible. But it is ours. And we…we are fighting for it!”

 

            You feel a pang of something in your chest. Sympathy maybe? Nah.

 

            “I used to feel that way about Desert Bluffs. So many secrets and conspiracies and darkness in our days. It all felt so important, so permanent! But then we met the Smiling God!” You can see a pair of hazel eyes staring back at you.

 

“Oh, it was so wonderful! The sun stopped setting! Or– maybe there wasn’t a sun anymore. Maybe there was just that other…brighter light. Who knows?” A shining golden suit with a gun in hand.

 

 “I do know that I couldn’t stop smiling. None of us could! And our smiles seemed better, fuller, wider.” Vanessa’s eye rolls loosely out of her head and the blood splatters the wall.

 

“Soon we had no need for government cover-ups, or secrets. Everything was transparent. Literally. You could see through everything and everyone. The bones, the blood, the scurrying insects inside every human body! There was so much work to be done.” You can hear the guard’s screams as you tear them apart with your teeth.

 

“And such a wonderful company to do it for! Even the ones that resisted the most at first soon found that they loved the Smiling God more than anyone. Even the most resistant of radio hosts soon found his way to productive work, happy songs, and a wide, gaping smile.” You feel a bullet run through your abdomen at close range.

 

 “So, let’s do this together, Cecil.”

 

Diego’s hands are wrapped around your throat.

 

“Believe with me in a Smiling God!”

 

His face a wide smile.

 

“The Greater Night Vale and Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area, a town with not one, but two happy, helpful voices.”

 

Cecil the liar.

 

You wretch a door open with one hand and a bright shining light begins pouring into the studio.

 

“Do you see, friends? The beautiful majesty of living as one under the unrelenting love of a Smiling God?” You announce and let the light bathe over you.

 

Steve speaks next, “Wow, I mean…it’s a very pretty light. You know, that company picnic of yours sure wasn’t fun, but…I got more done in two weeks than in the rest of my life combined!”

 

Cecil looks distraught, “No! Steve, what are you saying? No!”

 

“Kevin, before I step into your weird light, let me ask you about schools real fast. Now, my stepdaughter Janice is ten years old, and…the elementary schools are OK, but I don’t know if I can afford to send her to private school, and she’s a little bit…” Steve trails on but you cut him off by pressing your fingers to his lips.

 

“Say no more, Steve Carlsberg! Desert Bluffs schools are top-notch! Young Janice can take college prep courses as early as 12. Our charter schools even have great medical programs, where they can heal her of all her problems.” You grin at him.

 

Steve’s smile fades. “I’m sorry, uh, I don’t get it.”

 

“Yeah, um…Janice’s uncle here.” Cecil jumps in, “What do you mean by heal her?”

 

“She can’t walk right?” You feel a little stupid saying it. Slowly they confirm that she can’t. “Well, rather than build all those crazy ramps and elevators, we just fix people, so that they can become better, and more productive!” You clarify.

 

Steve Carlsberg’s face contorts into a look of rage and you take a step away from him. His hands are balled into tight fists.

 

“You are awful, and gross! And I was only being polite about your eyes! They are weird! Now you listen to me!” Steve grabs the lapels of your suit and you freeze up.

 

“You will not change my home town! You will not change my stepbrother!” Steve growls out at you, “And, Kevin of Desert Bluffs, you will not change, or fix, or do anything at all to my little girl!” Steve throws you back and the light of the smiling god consumes you.


	3. 3

You walk for what feels like ages in the endless desert. You scream and grab handfuls of sand throwing them out of frustration. The light of the smiling god beats down on your body. You touch your skin and hiss at the burning feeling it creates. You can feel sweat running down your back and you pant from the heat. In the distance you can make out a familiar shape.

 

“Di-Diego!!!” You shout and run at the figure. You hurry as fast as your feet will carry you. You hear the figure respond in mild confusion then come running toward you just as fast.

 

You practically jump at the figure and he has to spin to keep himself upright. You press your lips against his and he returns the gesture. This is when you realize you have severely fucked up. He’s too scratchy to be Diego. Too short. But most noticeably too affectionate.

 

You push away from him and survey the stranger. He looks just as surprised and confused as you do.

 

“You’re not Cecil.” He says in surprise and steps away from you.

 

“You’re not Diego!” You snap and bawl your hands into fists, “Who are you!? Why do you have his face!?”

 

He holds his hands out very calmly, “I have no one’s face, except my own. And I think this is a very significant misunderstanding?” You stare him down and puff your chest out glaring at him. You don’t trust him yet.

 

“You must be Kevin right?” Carlos says and you nod slowly. “I’m Carlos. The scientist.”

 

“Cecil’s boyfriend.”

 

“Right.” He says, “I’m not going to hurt you. Are you trapped as well?”

 

“Yes.” You whisper.

 

“Well that’s good.” Carlos says and extends a hand out to you, “Let’s look for help together.”

 

“Alright.” You say and gently take his hand. He doesn’t pull. Doesn’t grab onto you. You hold onto him and he starts walking into the desert.

 

* * *

 

 

Carlos looks exhausted as he walks his body sways back and forth. You still hold his hand, following him through the endless desert like a child.

 

“My team,” He huffs, “Should be nearby… I hope we’re going in the right direction…”

 

“We’ve been walking in the same direction for hours…” You tell him.

 

He stops and furrows his brow, “Well they’ve got to be somewhere close right? I mean it can’t be that big of a desert.”

 

“What if it doesn’t end?”

 

“Everything ends.”

 

“Wow. That’s kind of an arrogant statement considering where you’ve been living for the past, what two years?”

 

“Yes but saying it doesn’t end is just as much of an arrogant statement. So I’d prefer to remain optimistic.” Carlos says and pushes back his hair in a very Diegoish way. “That looks promising.” He says and gestures to smoke rising in the air.

 

As the two of you head toward the smoke a deep seated panic rises in your chest. The smoke seems to radiate danger to you and you dig your feet into the sand. Carlos comes to a jerking stop. You shake your head no. He looks back at you with confusion.

 

“Kevin we can probably get out of the sun that way. My team could be over there. It’s fine I promise. Can you trust me on this?” He asks and waits, “If there’s any danger. I’ll run away with you okay?” You nod and Carlos gives your hand a reassuring squeeze.

 

He walks with you to the smoke. A grouping of masked figures look to you. Their masks have gaunt eyes, and open mouths. The unfamiliarity terrifies you and your hands shake. Carlos however is not half as intimidated.

 

“Hello!” He smiles, “Have you seen the rest of my team? I seem to have gotten stuck here in this … desert other world.” One of the figures nods and it becomes apparent that what you thought was a very close averaged size person, is a distant very large person. They hold out a hand and Carlos steps onto it pulling you on with him.

 

You are frozen. How is he so trusting? What is his problem? Carlos holds onto you with one hand and onto the masked giant with the other. You hesitantly fall into his torso to better keep your balance.

 

The masked giant walks through the sand and to a small group of people near a light house. They wave their arms frantically and excitedly. The masked giant placed their hand on the ground and Carlos climbed off with you in toe. “Thank you!” Carlos squeaked at the Masked Giant who stood and walked away.

 

“Carlos!” A girl with her hair pulled up in a high pony tail exclaims. She has goggles affixed on her head, and a lab coat around her body. The sight of the garment turns your stomach. Five other people stand with her. Some are badly battered, but the wounds seem to have long since healed.

 

“Carlos we were so worried.” She breathed and gave him a hug, “All of us came at the same time but we couldn’t find you anywhere.”

 

“I’ve been here! I made a new friend actually. Uh, you guys probably know him already... I knew him already… but the friend part is new!” Carlos stammered and pulled you to face the group. “Guys this is non-murdery Kevin.”

 

Your mind raced with your heart. This was too much too many people at once. Too much to take in. Too much to see at once. You swallowed dryly staring at them.

 

The first to step forward was a man roughly your height. He held a hand out for you to shake. “I’m Dennis. It’s good to see you here Kevin.”

 

“Oh don’t lie like that Den,” One of the girls in the back hissed, “We all know what he did. In fact, if he didn’t do it we wouldn’t be stuck here.”

 

“Shut up Susanna. Don’t you have some dirt to be cleaning off your hands of something?” Dennis snapped back without missing a beat.

 

The first girl who hugged Carlos spoke up, “He does have a point. I don’t want him around me. He could be lying to you Carlos.” You try to make yourself seem smaller but you know you look frightening. You know he, the other you, made you do terrible awful grotesque things.

 

“He’s definitely not sleeping at our camp,” Another, a boy with a lisp and no left eye, said. 

 

“Agreed.” The first girl said firmly, “He’ll have to go elsewhere.”

 

“Guys, come on, he’s not dangerous.” Carlos tried to reason as Susanna snorted. “Okay he’s not dangerous anymore. He’s like a completely different person.”

 

“It’s okay Carlos actually,” You cut in, “I’d actually be more comfortable on my own.”

 

“You sure?” Carlos asked and put his hand on your arm. You didn’t like it, but you didn’t say anything. You gave him a nod. “Alright… well… I’ll help you pick a place to sleep then okay?”

 

“Sure,” You say struggling, “Sleep…sounds lovely.” You don’t have the heart to tell Carlos that you don’t sleep anymore, sleep is unproductive, and your body will not allow you to be unproductive anymore.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The scientists had decided to help you build a shelter with much convincing on Dennis and Carlos’ part. The more you put onto it the better it looked, and with the masked soldiers help it was coming along quiet quickly. You wouldn’t say it out loud but you actually found yourself growing fond of everyone.

 

Especially Carlos. He was like Diego, but real, not pretending so he could get something out of you. He smiled a little sweeter, and laughed a little harder, than Diego did. And the voice messages he left for Cecil every night were more than precious.

 

“Kevin,” Carlos shook his hand in front of your face. You snapped out of your daydream. It was presumably night; you could never really tell with how bright it was. You were reclined on the floor of the unfinished shelter.

 

“Hello Carlos.” You spoke softly.

 

“I brought you a… present.” He speaks nervously.

 

“What did you bring….” You were always skeptical about gifts after Diego had given you a lovely one on your face for being sarcastic.

           

“Here,” Carlos hands you a rectangular wrapped package.

 

“What?” You say raising a brow at him.

 

“It’s a candy bar. They’re outlawed in Nightvale, so I figured they were in Desert Bluffs too... oh was that a rude assumption. I’m not saying the two are the same or anything.” He stumbles over himself.

 

“I… no, I know what it is I just…” You clutch it, “I haven’t seen one of these in… ages… thank you Carlos.”

 

“You’re welcome Kevin,” He smiles genuinely at you.

 

“I can just… eat it? That seems greedy… share it with me!” You say louder than you intend.

 

Carlos only jumps a little, “Sure.” You unwrap the packaging and hand him half of the candy bar. The chocolate smears and melts onto your hands. Carlos lays down next you taking a bite of his half. You nestle next to him savoring the first bite of candy in a long time.

 

“Vanessa, my intern, well more than that but that’s in the past, Vanessa and I would buy a lot of these when we were going to have a movie night. She liked horror movies, I was personally never a fan of gore. So we usually watched paranormal movies, I know, tacky and rude to ghosts. But it was something we’d do.” You ramble, but you can feel the heat boiling in your eyelids, “Kinda sucks… not having her here.” The first tear falls out of your eye. The panic starts in your stomach, anticipating the shock as more tears fall.

 

“Pills,” You gasp sitting up quickly, “Pills I need,” You wheeze trying to fight the tears. Carlos sits up worried. You check your pockets but find none. “I need! I need them!”

 

“Kevin, calm down, what’s wrong.” Carlos tries to relax you.

 

You snap and grab his shirt, “I DON’T HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN!” The emotional correctness collar kicks in and you scream as enough volts to kill a regular man surge through you. “FUCK!” You shout curling your body in on itself.

 

“Kevin!?” Carlos shouts sitting up quickly, “Oh my gosh Kevin! Are you okay?” You roll over onto your back panting, your hands tremble as you real to catch your breath. Your vision is spotty and black in front of you, Carlos leans over you his image shifting in and out of your vision. “Kevin what was that!?” He asks you frantically, his voice sounds muggy and blocked.

 

“Di..los…” You slowly grab hold of yourself and sit up. Carlos sits on his knees next to you. A bright pen light hits your face and you grumble at Carlos pushing his hand away, “Stop that. That’s too bright.”

 

“Jesus,” Carlos exhales, “I thought you had a seizure. What was that?!” He looks at you with concern.

 

“Its…,” You can feel redness growing on your cheeks as you tap your collar, “It’s this.”

 

“That works?” Carlos says and leans in examining it, “You can’t take it off?” The look of fear that flashes across your face answers it for him. “I thought it was some kind of fashion statement…”

 

You laugh and shake your head, “No, I’d take it off if I could.” Your hands still tremble, “Usually… usually someone would give me a preventative before anything could happen. I haven’t had one of those in a long time…”

 

“Oh, were those the pills you were looking for?” Carlos exclaims with a snap of his fingers.

 

“Yeah…Di-my boss gave me a few to keep on me… but I must have used them all already, oops.” You chuckle and laugh.

 

Carlos doesn’t laugh with you, “I could try to get it off. If you want me too of course.”

 

You shake your head quietly, “No. I don’t think it would be possible. It feeds up under my skin. It’s part of me now.”

 

“Maybe when we get back to Nightvale-“

 

“I’m not going back to Nightvale.”

 

“What? Are you going to Desert Bluffs then?” Carlos grabs your hand.

 

“No,” you reclaim your hand, “I’m dangerous now. I can’t put people at risk. I’m safer out here.”

 

Carlos grows quiet and stands up, “Come with me.”

 

“Why?” You question at him.

 

“Can’t you just trust me?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Come on.”

 

“…It better not be stupid.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The hide away isn’t very deep, or very big, it’s made of collapsed rocks and often has desert creatures running through it to escape the brightness.

 

But it’s still your favorite place to hide.

 

“Okay let’s see what we have on the lunch menu today,” Carlos cheerily announces to no one but you two. The others don’t know about this spot so you can hole up into it to relax. Carlos pulls a cellophane wrapped sandwich out of his coat pocket.

 

“Where does this food even come from?” You snort as you take it from him and begin to peel the wrap away.

 

“I don’t ask, do you want to ask Doug and Alicia where it comes from?” Carlos laughs as he pulls another out of his pocket.

 

“No thank you,” You laugh back and bite into the meal happily. Carlos leans his head against you as he starts his as well. You close your eyes and lay your head on top of his. “If we stay in here it’s almost like night.”

 

“Nightvale had the most beautiful nights, even with the void.” Carlos closed his eyes as well.

 

“That concept is just so unnerving to me,” You admit to him.

 

“Oh shush, your house threw you into a grocery store!” He fires back quickly.

 

“I told you that in confidence!” You sit up and playfully hit his arm, “I could use things against you too!”

 

“Oh yeah name one thing you could use against me,” Carlos dares a smirk gracing his lips.

 

“Okay,” You smirk back at him, “Tell me a little something about your fascination with a certain… extension of your boyfriend… something a little… squirmy?”

 

“Shush!” Carlos exclaimed quickly clasping a hand over your mouth.

 

“Kinky,” you tease as you take his hand off your mouth, “Or!”

 

“Don’t you dare!” Carlos’ voice squeaks.

 

“We can talk about _why_ you know what Cecil’s boy scout outfit looks like.” You stick your tongue out at him. 

 

“I regret telling you these things.” He sighs while shaking his head.

 

“I told you mine,” You say feeling triumphant.

 

“Yours wasn’t even like those! You fell in milk and that was the end of the endeavor!” Carlos pokes you.

 

You laugh nervously, “Well I don’t think the others would be interesting for you."

 

“OH! So you’re hiding YOUR dirty secrets from me!” Carlos grinned deviously, “You’ve got to tell me one! I told you mine!”

 

“No Carlos,” You half growl at him.

 

“Aw come on Kevin!” Carlos continues to pressure, “Do it for me Kev!”

 

“Don’t call me Kev!” A voice that is not yours says out of your mouth. You grab Carlos and pin him onto the ground. “Don’t-Don’t,” It laughs elatedly, “Don’t you ever say that _ever_ or something very, VERY, bad will happen to you.” You can’t make your weight shift off him, you can’t urge your hands to move. An unwilling passenger in someone else’s body.

 

“Kevin,” Carlos squeaks, “Kevin it’s okay… look. I won’t say it anymore, but please let me go.” 

 

They run a thumb over his cheek, “You know I would love to pull every tooth out of your skull, but _he_ won’t let me. So you should really say thank you. Yeah?”

 

“O-Okay,” Carlos trembles under you and you can feel your presence slipping back into the body. You move away from him quickly.

 

“I’m sorry Carlos,” You apologize frantically, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I…” You get up, “I’ll go.” Carlos grabs your hand pulling you down to his level.

 

“Hey! I’m not done with you yet.” He tells you.

 

You look around quickly for an escape route before turning to him with shut eyes, “Can you just do it fast then…” You brace your body expecting blow.

 

But it doesn’t come. Carlos’ arms wrapping you in a tight hug. Your face pressed against his shoulder. “I’m not giving up on you yet Kevin. Friends don’t do that to each other, and you’re my best friend.” 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

You always sleep in the stations break room. The couch is oddly comfortable. Your body originally had rejected the idea of even attempting to fall asleep but with time it had begun to accept short naps. You lay on your back in the break room staring at the ceiling when the door creaks open and the familiar smiling face of Carlos peaks in.

 

“Hope I didn’t wake you up,” Carlos walks in with a smile and turns on the coffee pot.

 

“No. I wasn’t asleep. I was just lying there.” You sit up, “you’re making coffee?”

 

“Well. I know you like it and I thought we could talk a little about something,” Carlos’ tone shifts.

 

You stare at him blankly, “Oh yeah? And that is?”

 

“I want to show Cecil this place.” He rubs his arm nervously.

 

“What?” You sit up quickly, “Why?”

 

“Well. It’s a really cool place and there’s lots of scientifically interesting things going on here and I think… maybe… maybe I’ll stay here? If he likes it I mean.” Carlos taps his foot nervously.

 

“You mean like… stay here… with me?” You stand to your feet.

 

“Yeah,” Carlos smiles, “Something like that.”

 

“Wait,” You bounce a bit on your feet, “Really? Seriously? You promise?” Your words trip over each other.

 

“Only if Cecil will,” Carlos tells you, “but yes.”

 

“Carlos!” You pull him into a tight hug and nuzzle him, “You’re the nicest! You’re the best!” Carlos snorts at your reaction.

 

“Well, I can do a lot of work here, and it wouldn’t be fair to leave my best friend here by himself,” Carlos separates you too. You beam and smile at him. “Coffee?”

 

“Yes! Yes! Coffee! Well, coffee would be swell!!”

 

 

* * *

 

“It’s the dog park Kevin!” Carlos shouted bursting into the room, sending papers scattering through the room.

 

“Carlos I’m testing the radio,” You say as sweetly as you can.

 

“The dog park Kevin!” He had a crazed excited look in his eye, “We’re in Nightvale! We’re in their dog park! Look! These are all testimonies from the citizens we found earlier look!” He pressed the papers into your hand.

 

You pick it up looking over the papers, “They’re all from Nightvale?”

 

“Yes and every single one of them was lured in here during poetry week! This is fantastic! Cecil can visit, and he’ll like it and we can stay here!” Carlos squeaked excitedly, “This is fantastic! I’m going to see Cecil again! I’m going to see my boyfriend! I have to tell him!” Carlos hurried out of the studio as fast as he came in.

 

You sat still at your booth looking over the equipment. None of it worked yet, but the idea to have you be radio broadcasting from this desert was there. Since most of the scientists were less than helpful with electronics it was up to you and Dennis to figure out how it would work.

 

“Okay so, the Starbuck’s is out of coffee, which you know in and of itself feels very much like a Nightvale thing, but whatever. So I got you this, it’s brown, and doesn’t smell poisoned,” Dennis sets the cup down in front of you. You pick it up and drink it silently.

 

“Hey,” Dennis pulls a swivel chair up next to you and sits in it, “What’s up?”

 

“We’re in Nightvale,” You tell him, “and, I guess… that means Carlos is bringing Cecil here but…”

 

“But?” Dennis urges.

 

“I almost don’t want him too?” You set the cup down, “I mean… I don’t think… Cecil will… agree, with our friendship?”

 

“Mhm, I’m sure that’s it,” Dennis smiles while sipping his drink.

 

“What are you implying.” You glare at him.

 

“I just don’t understand how he got both of you. I don’t get it.” Dennis says standing up and shaking his head.

 

“Dennis! What are you implying!” You shriek.

 

“Is it a radio host thing?” He sets his cup down and sets to work checking out the wiring, “Is his hair honestly THAT nice?”

 

“You think,” You snort laughing, “You think I _like_ Carlos.”

 

“Please Kevin,” Dennis exchanges some cords, “don’t be so middle school. I know you do. And I know you’re dead jealous of Cecil.”

 

“No,” You look away from him, “I’m not.”

 

“Maybe that’s how you see it,” Dennis says, “But this whole situation is oddly familiar.”

 

“I’ve only kissed him once and I thought he was someone else so no I don’t. Even if he is nice, and funny, and sweet… and he gets excited really easily and his smile is… so happy…” You ramble growing softer and softer, “he’s really warm… and nice…”

 

“I don’t get it,” Dennis shakes his head and keeps working on the mechanics.

 

 

* * *

 

You pace out in the desert a couple of times, far enough away from the town to avoid contact with anyone. You bite your thumb nervously, “Just do it Kevin.” You growl at yourself. You hate this nervousness in your gut and finally dial Cecil’s number.

 

“Hey! Friend!” You can hear Lauren’s pseudo sweet training in your voice trying to mask how you actually feel about this situation, “We haven’t spoken in a while, not since all that… unpleasantness happened.” You roll a rock under your foot, “I hope everything has been super pleasant since then…oh! But hey! I’ve been working on something I would like to show you. I think you’ll be just _jazzed_ about it. Get back to me asap okay? Until next time Cecil. Until next time.”

 

You click the phone off and sit down in the desert. A lizard scurries by you and you grab it lightly in your hands. It scratched and bites and your fingers.

 

“I won’t hurt you.” You try to assure it softly. The lizard doesn’t quit fighting you. “I don’t want to hurt anything anymore.” You release the lizard and it runs past you back toward the town. You lay flat in the sand.

 

“You know Kev buddy. I could make all the hurt go away again. I could be so helpful to you. You wouldn’t need to worry about a thing.” A voice that is not yours speaks out of your mouth.

 

“I don’t trust you,” You whisper back at it.

 

“Of course you don’t. But I’m you. What harm could possibly befall you if you just let me be in charge. Just for a little while?”

 

“You could hurt Carlos.”

 

“Would that really be that bad?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“He’s just like Diego and you know it. He just wants to hurt you.” It snaps.

 

“No he doesn’t, he’s not like him…” You struggle to find your confidence.

 

“Let me do this!” It shouts at you.

 

“No!” You stand up. You need to get back to people. If there’s people around it will stop talking. It’ll be quiet.

 

“You know you want it. Deep down that part of you still aches for it. You want everyone gone. You want everyone dead. That’s why you hurt and hurt and hurt. You killed Vanessa, you killed everyone you ever cared about, and now, NOW I’m going to squash you out.”

 

“Stop it!” You yell back.

 

“You’re a monster Kevin and you know it. Without Strex, without the smiling god, without _Diego_ you can’t function! You’re a broken shell of a person who used to be alive but died just as long ago as all their friends! And now I’m here to make sure they stay that way!”

 

“Stop it! STOP! STOP!!!” You shout and feel bone crack under your hands. You feel your entirety rush back into your body. Your hands around someone’s neck, someone’s face you remember.

 

“Dennis,” You breathe as you release his lifeless body. You tremble and back pedal away from it. Tears dot your eyes. “No, no, no… I didn’t… it wasn’t me… I…”

 

“You’re a monster Kevin,” The voice says again, “You’re a weapon. For Strex. For them. You are evil.”

 

“I… he was my friend!” You shout, your emotional correctness collar beeps in warning.

 

“No Kevin,” The voice speaks sympathetically, “You don’t have friends. I do. Now, let me take control.”

 

“I…” your voice catches in your throat, “Okay…”

 

 

* * *

 

            “They’ve been so welcoming to us outsiders,” The voice that is not yours says into the mic, “Not all outsiders though… they are a violent and territorial army, but SOME outsiders. Like me or my _friend_ Carlos.” You can hear the heaviness in his voice the way he says Carlos’ name.

 

            “He’s a scientist, he’s a beautiful man who does beautiful things.” They purr. Your hand rests on the sticky redness of your desk, “I actually have Carlos on the phone right now! Carlos! Tell everyone about the huge project you’ve been working on this past year!”

 

            “Hi Kevin!” Carlos speaks. Your heart breaks but you can’t force your way into your body, you can’t make that _other you_ go away. “Thanks for having me on the show. So first off Doug and Alicia are in my kitchen. Alicia built a refrigerator from some cactus pads, twine, and three different kinds of birds! Now they’re making a bunch of pasta salad for lunch this week! They’ll save some for you if you like?”

 

            “How delightful!” The other you speaks cheerily, “I’m totally disgusted by pasta salad.” Not true.  “Can’t stand the stuff.” That’s a lie. “Can’t stand the taste or the smell.” You liar. “In fact to look at it causes me to heave! But thank you, that’s so kind.”

 

            “Right,” Carlos doesn’t sound sure of himself, you hope he knows it’s not you. You want him to know. “So this new project I’ve been wanting to tell you about. I’m really excited to talk about it, you know how our cellphones always work in this desert other world? Even though there are no towers and they never seem to run out of battery?”

 

            “Yes! I love taking these facts for granted.” You can feel the other you’s irritation.

 

            “Well,” Carlos keeps on. You internally groan. He’s too focused on his science to help you, “I’m on the verge of uncovering what’s causing that. Here in the laboratory, Doug and Alicia and one of the other soldier’s whose name is,” He makes a choking noise, “built for me, I’ve been hard at work pacing about in front of a row of conical flasks, beakers, and Y-tubes, _furiously_ writing Greek letters and Arabic numbers and I think, later today, I will make an enormous breakthrough!” 

 

            “What did you find out?” The other you says in a mocking tone.

 

            “I can’t say yet,” Carlos continues oblivious, “I’m just waiting for the computer to finish calculating the…”

 

            “…Is everything okay?”

 

            “I don’t know. Alisha and Doug look really agitated. They’re jumping up and down by the window. The other giant soldiers are running into formation outside. I need to see what’s wrong….” Carlos hangs up quickly.

 

 

* * *

 

            The other you chatters away without a second of recognition toward you. They remark about the lovely, visceral, status of the station and how Vanessa’s been such a big help. You can’t see he, you don’t know what they’re talking about. Vanessa isn’t here. Vanessa’s dead!

 

            “Oh! Sounds like Carlos is back on the line now!” The other you claims excitedly, “Did you get the results from your-“

 

            “Doug and Alicia are back,” He sounds morose. You ache to comfort him. 

 

            “Oh, good! So wonderful to have dear friends around to be a part of your brilliant achievement!” The other you seems to be unaware of the gravity of the situation.

 

            “Yeah, but they’re in no condition to celebrate the great strides of scientific study right now. Most of the army returned from fighting, but there are more than a dozen who did not. Alisha lost two fingers, and Doug is bleeding quite badly because of a compound fracture in his forearm. Everyone who returned is in treatable condition. I believe they’ll be fine. But they’re wounded, and need lots of rest,” Carlos’ voice is not his own, it doesn’t sound like him, “AND NO MORE FIGHTING FOR A LONG TIME!” He shouts at Doug and Alicia. His tone goes back to sadness, “It’s a mess over here…”

 

            “Good thing they have such a good and helpful friend in you,” They say, “So, tell us about your study on the strange energy here in the desert.”

 

            ‘Can’t you see he’s hurting?’ You try to shout but nothing comes out.

 

            “Ugh. I– I c– I can’t yet. The army came in so quickly, dropping their weapons everywhere, along with some detached limbs that I don’t even _think belong_ to them, and all of my journals, which I had left out and open on my desk, have been rendered unusable. There are broken beakers and blood-soaked composition notebooks _everywhere_. I don’t even know where to begin cleaning up all of this blood!” Carlos laments.

 

            You hear the aroused whimper escape past your lips and fight the urge to vomit.

 

            “I’m sorry did you say something?” Carlos asks confusedly.

 

            “Nnnnnnnnnnnnnope,” He says but you can feel your body tremble and gag, “I just… like your story. Carry on.”

 

            “Doug!” Carlos’ voice yells again, “Come back here! Kevin, I have to go. Doug just constructed a makeshift splint out of rocks and snakes. He just grabbed his axe and ran out the back door.” Carlos groans loudly, “And there goes Alicia! Stop going to war! You need rest!” He huffs, “Call you back Kevin. They can’t go on like this.”

 

* * *

 

 

“To be a radio broadcaster who gets to tell stories about things that make us unhappy thrills me to my bones!” Other you giggles, “Because by telling people about all that can make us unhappy, I prepare them to truly enjoy those happy moments when they come!”

 

“Once, my hometown of Desert Bluffs had a deadly outbreak of throat spiders.” You remember that it was awful, some kind of test by Strex to check the resilience of residents.

 

 “Hundreds were diagnosed with this usually-treatable disease, but it was a particularly virulent strain, and many people died, or were left without voices and lower jaws when it was all over.” You can almost hear the screams of citizens, people who had once been your friends.

 

“Almost a day wouldn’t go by where you didn’t hear a fit of strenuous coughing, punctuated by a muffled,” He makes a popping noise, “only to turn around and see a cascade of tiny spiders pouring over the craggy ledge that used to be a person’s lower teeth.”

 

“Each day I got to report these upsetting stories, but the best part about it was when Desert Bluffs residents eventually stopped losing part of their faces to throat spiders, and we all rejoiced in our newly-healthy and happy lives.” You’d had to beg Diego on your knees to make it stop, but he told you he had no control over it to begin with, Yet, the next day the reports stopped. “As the saying goes, it’s always dawn,” Other you chuckles.

 

“Oh! And speaking of sunshine, Carlos just arrived here, live in the studio with me! Carlos? Did you go out in this weather?” He looks awful his face is dusted and his eyes are sunken in and small.

 

Your voice breaks through for only a moment, “You’re covered in dust, and those look like friction burns in the shape of lab goggles on your face. Are you okay? Did Doug and Alisha make it back?”

 

            “Not yet they…” Carlos’ eyes flash up to look around the room, “What is this all over your studio? Is that barbecue sauce?”

 

            Other you yanks the reins away, “Oh, that? That’s just blood! And some old bones, and loose teeth, and beaks and things. I finally decorated, thanks for noticing! And _I_ just noticed you have a piece of paper in your hand! That must be your final report! Look at how we both notice things about each other! I love that!”

 

            “I-I, um…well…” Carlos turns around uncomfortably.

 

            “Well, you sound sad,” Other you says with a pout, “Which is great news! Because it means you’ll be happy again eventually! It’s a tough day, what with all the weather and the wars and the blood. But your _boyfriend_ will soon be moving from Night Vale to come live here with you!”

 

            “Well, um… about that,” Carlos’ hands shift nervously.

 

            “And! And! You finally have the scientific results of your hard scientific work!” Other you beams at him.

 

            “I don’t. I don’t have results, Kevin!” Carlos snaps at you, them, you both. “When the army marched out again I went back to trying to recover my notes. I had just gotten the lab desktops clean when Alisha’s large dog bounded through the lab and out the front door, sending every glass tube and jar crashing onto the floor. When I bent over to see the damage, I saw my computer there too, just on the tiles, snapped nearly in half, a tuft of white fur covering the keyboard, singed slightly by the smoke streaking out of the broken monitor….I lost it all Kevin my entire year of study is gone.”

           

                        You push back in again, “What’s the paper, then? Did you at least learn some of your results?” You want to comfort him, but you know he’s afraid of you right now.

 

            “This is nothing,” Carlos says quietly, “It’s, um, just a letter I wrote to, uh…a friend.”

 

            Other you violently rips you away, sugary sweetness in their voice, “Oh? I love letters! Letters are so fun to receive!”

 

            “Not this one. It’s a sad letter. A letter about regrets and mistakes,” Carlos looks at you with pity, “You know how sometimes you spend a lot of time with someone, and you think that the someone makes you happy, but then suddenly one day you realize…maybe you weren’t happy at all. Maybe both would be better off doing what you love in different places. Without each other. Maybe neither of you were as happy as either of you thought.”

 

            “That is a sad sounding letter,” Other you says, “I don’t understand, or like that at all.” They snap. You can feel your heart rate jump.

 

            “I have spent the last year all wrong.” Carlos is staring right at you.

 

            You can feel the tears welling in your eyes. Your chest aches. Other you just grows more panicked, more confused. “I believe in you, Carlos! Don’t let destruction, blood, and war hold you back! You’re a brilliant scientist!” They stammer, trying to get a hold on your body again.

 

            “I realize I need to just start everything over, rededicate myself. I need to do it right this time. No more distractions. I can’t spend another year like this one,” He’s holding his body and looking at you, his eyes are piercing you, “So…it pains me to carry this letter, but…I wrote it to set my boundaries.”

 

            “So you know, there’s no postal service here yet?” Other you asks.

 

            Carlos sighs, “I know. Um, that’s why I’m hand-delivering it.” It’s like he’s begging you to react. Other you just doesn’t understand the implications.

 

            “Oh. Remember, no one should ever be sad. Choose not to be sad, Carlos. In fact, choose to be happy!” Other you pressures him. A tear runs down your smiling face. You hurt. You hurt badly, “Perhaps your letter is the first step to choosing happiness, even while it makes someone else sad.”

 

            “I understand. Listen, um, I should go. I’m headed to Night Vale one final time. I need to talk to Cecil about…well, about some changes,” He inhales, “Thanks for everything, Kevin. You’ve been so kind to me in this difficult year.”

 

            “Goodbye Carlos!” Other you says cheerily. Carlos leaves and you swallow a lump in your throat. Other you keeps rambling on, “Well, it’s a shame that our huge scientific breakthrough didn’t quite happen today. As the old phrase goes, “the best-laid plans of mice and men are completely different kinds of plans altogether. Very different creatures, those two. But it’s not a total wash. Our next show should feature spine-tingling adventure stories about today’s desert battles! We have so much to do, us. So much to explore and understand. So much to make here in our great desert otherworld. Say, we really do need a name for this place. Things without names don’t really exist. So I’m going to call this…well, I’m going to call it Desert Bluffs! Desert Bluffs was the name of my hometown, and by naming it Desert Bluffs, this place becomes my new hometown! We are in my home! We are in Desert Bluffs, no matter where we are in space or time. What is a town but a name, right? Until next time, New Desert… Oh. It looks like Carlos left behind that letter he was supposed to hand deliver? I’d better not read it…”

 

            Your fingertips take hold of the letter, you can control yours hands. Your mouth is still under their control though, “Nnnno. Better not. Until next time, New Desert Bluffs. Until next time.” You open the letter carefully, “Oh. Oh no… this is so sad. No! I don’t like this! I am sad…” You click the microphone off.

 

            Other you shakes violently and begins to cry the collar shocks them and they yell but the tears keep coming. Slowly, slowly you can feel yourself filling back in, reclaiming what you know is yours.

 

            A sob erupts from your parted lips and you know you’re back in your body, “Liar!” you spit loudly, “I was right here! I was right here!” You stand up and kick the door to the booth hard, you find trouble in catching your breath.

 

            “Carlos.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

The sand storm in the desert begins to kick up again tossing your hair around in its haze. You turn in circles, staring desperately for your friend. Maybe if you could just… explain to him! Maybe then he’d see, maybe then he’d stay. You didn’t want to be alone, you couldn’t bear the thought.

 

“You,” Other you snarled, not completely purged from you yet, “He doesn’t-he doesn’t care about you. Don’t be stupid.”

 

“Leave me alone,” You tell it dismissively.

 

“He’s probably home already. I doubt he wants to see you. He’s probably curled up against Cecil, talking about his science projects.”

 

“Good,” You say and stop dead in your tracks.

 

“Good?” It gasps.

 

“I’m going back to my station… I have to clean up after a mess I made…” You turn and head back toward the settlement.

 

“You moron!” Other you shouts and your right hand lunges up to your face raking your long, pointed nails across your cheek. You shout in surprise, the pain isn’t what frightening you, it’s the blood that drips out of the wound. You restrain it and keep walking home. The hand twitches but slowly it gives up allowing you control once again.

 

            You walk into the break room and flop onto the couch, which squishes with blood. You gag and sit up. Shaking your head, you walk to the supply closet and grab a mop, and sponge. You fill a bucket with soap and water and slap the mop down on the ground trying to clean the floors to the best of your ability. The red sloshes about and you feel like you’re going to be sick.

 

            It takes close to three hours to clean up all of the blood. Which you honestly think is pretty quick considering the amount of blood. You dump out the awful red swill onto the ground and bring your supplies inside. You drag your couch out the front door. Alicia pauses and stares you.

 

            “What!” You snap at them and they shakes their head before walking away. You sigh and look down at yourself, you know you don’t look right and walk back inside to clean yourself up. You strip down and head into your shower room, which Carlos insisted you have, to clean up. You go to turn on the water but it doesn’t come. You curse and kick the pipe, red sludge sprays out of the nozzle and you hurry to turn it off. You gag and vomit over the side of the tub.

 

            “WHY!” You shout, “WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?” You try to wipe the spray off of you, you turn on the faucet but the same substance pours out of there. You groan and walk out of the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

 

            You gasp for air in the middle of the night and sit up as quickly as you can manage. Your hand is at your throat again suffocating you, pushing down on your throat. You try to pry it away from you, it tightens its grip. You squeak and scratch it with your free hand. It releases it’s grip, and you close that hand into a tight fist.

 

            “I just wanted to show you how much I loved you Kevin,” The voice sneers out of your mouth, “Since you’ve been such a good host.”

 

            “Stop it.” You croak, “Haven’t I suffered enough. Haven’t _we_ suffered enough.”

 

            “I think you misjudge my intentions Kevin,” It sighs, “I don’t want to kill you…well I didn’t. I do now. But my original intention wasn’t to kill you. It was to make you feel safe. I’m nothing more than an out of control coping mechanism, and you could, if you really wanted to, destroy me. But you don’t want to, because you’re afraid if you leave here you’ll just get ported back to Desert Bluffs.”

 

            “I don’t want to be alone,” You swallow.

 

            “I’m aware. That’s the entire reason you didn’t fight back. You crave affection, you crave acceptance,” It hums, “Do you think that’s because of your mother? I bet it is.”

 

            “I don’t remember my mother.”

 

            “Sure you do. Bits of her. They’re all littered through your mind. Chunks of her leftover, a word here, an eye there,” It hums excitedly.

 

            “Not anymore…” You tell it, “Maybe you do. But I don’t.”

 

            “But I am you _Kev_ ,” It taunts, “You hate that word. Is it because of Diego? Or maybe it’s more than that. Every person who ever hurt you, they called you Kev right? Is that why you’re so afraid of it?”

 

            “I thought you wanted to kill me, not be my therapist.”

 

            “I’m hurting you plenty like this,” It’s tone darkens, “Now tell me. What do you want Kevin? What do you want more than anything in this world.”

 

            “I want…” You search your mind, you want so many things all at once, all together, “I want my cream carpets, I want my heavy drapes, I want my music, I want my old broken kitchen. I-I want Carlos. I want to sit in that stupid rock structure and fall asleep on him and wake up back here on this couch. I want to wake up to a cup of hot coffee next to me, I want to broadcast.”

 

            “You’re asking for too much.”

 

            “I don’t think I’m asking for enough…”


	4. 4

You’ve cleaned the room a hundred times at least. You don’t know how long you’ve been here. In isolation. The masked army having decided to move on long ago. Only five or six citizens deciding to stay with you, and the ones stuck on the roller coaster.

 

            You know every time you close your eyes, you open them to the massacre of several animals, and on one occasion a whole person. You immediately set about scrubbing the floors. But you get dirtier each time, and with your shower and sink permanently spewing gore you can’t clean it off of you. The few times you’d managed to wipe off the mirror you’d thought that they’d pulled off all your skin in your sleep.

 

            You walk through the room leaving bloodied foot prints behind you and pick up your coffee mug. You gag on the blood taste in your throat and spit the coffee out of your mouth, it hits the ground red and you shudder. You’re so thirsty, but never hungry. This terrifies you. Because it means the other part of you is eating, and you don’t want to know what.

 

You cough hard and the mug falls from your hands hitting the floor and smashing into pieces.

 

            “Damnit…” You mumble and kneel picking up the pieces and putting them in your hand. You cough again and your vision blurs momentarily, “That’s not good…” You mutter to yourself as you drop the pieces into the garbage. You start to walk out of the room and your knees buckle underneath you, you fall onto them and the force reverberates through your body making your teeth hurt. You cough roughly into your hands. It scratches your throat.

 

            You use the doorframe to stand to your feet. The room tilts left and right in front of you. You groan, it makes your head throb.

 

            “Help.” You whimper as you find yourself falling back onto the floor. Your eyes stay open watching the dizzying ceiling above you, before passing out.

 

 

           

_You’re sitting in a chair in your studio, back home in Desert Bluffs, it’s clean. Spotless even. A girl in a jade polo approaches you holding out a hand, “Hi. I’m the new intern, Vanessa.”_

_“Hello Vanessa,” You say and shake her hand._

_“Hey,” She says leaning over you. You back pedal quickly from her. “Remember my face,” She grins, “I’m not going anywhere for a long time buddy.”_

_“Oh… okay…” You try not to be socially awkward._

_“I mean it. You’re stuck with me now Kevin. I’m pretty sure I’ll be your intern for the rest of my life.”_

_“Probably, the others were too.” You joke._

_“Yeah, but I intend on living a long time,” She flashes you a devious grin and inside you, some part believes her._

_The lighting shifts and you’re sitting a diner._

_“Okay… well if you can’t see us anywhere in ten years what about… five?” You run your thumb over the man across the table’s knuckles._

_“I see…” He pouts his lips, “Us in… a house.”_

_“A house?” You grin excitedly._

_He nods, “With lots of trees, and…”_

_“A cat.”_

_“No cats, a dog.”_

_“No dogs, a rabbit.”_

_“I can handle a rabbit.” He says and nods thoughtfully._

_“Are we married?” You ask him._

_He smirks, “Not yet, but we are discussing it.”_

_“Will it be a big ceremony?”_

_“We’ll try to make it small. But you’ll invite the whole town over the radio.”_

_“I love you,” You coo._

_“I love you too,” Diego coos back._

_You feel yourself shrink and you’re standing in a kitchen._

_“Where’s my birthday boy?” A woman with long black hair and shimmering yellow eyes looks down at you, “come on Kevin. This is a secret okay?”_

_“Okay!” You reply and she brings you over to a table with a cake on it. She reaches over with a knife and cuts the cake handing you a large slice. Too much for your child body. You take a plastic fork and have a bite then hold a forkful out to her. She kneels in front of you and takes a bite before she brushes long fingers through your hair._

_She smiles and her mouthful of pointed teeth glisten at you, “You’re a big boy. And things… things aren’t going to be easy for you anymore. So do like Mommy okay?” She takes the fork and cake away from you setting them on the counter._

_“Okay,” You nod at her eagerly. She folds her hands and you follow suit._

_“Now close your eyes,” She instructs and you do so shutting your eyes tightly. “Oh, great, bright smiling god.”_

_“Oh, great, bright smiling god,” You parrot._

_“Please keep Kevin safe.” She says, her voice heavy._

_“Please keep me safe.” You nod a little._

_“Even when I can’t.” Her voice wavers a second._

_“Even when Mommy can’t.” You reply and her lips press against your forehead, just above your third eye. You open your eyes and she’s staring at you, eyes scanning your body._

_“How’d you get so big…” She whispers, “How’d you grow up so good.” She pulls you into a tight hug, your head nestling into her shoulder. “Oh Kevin,” She coos, “I love you. I’m proud of you.”_

_“I love you too,” You tell her and hug her back._

_“Kevin don’t forget. Please, you can’t forget Kevin. You need to remember me.” She speaks desperately, “Please Kevin…”_

“Please Kevin!”

 


	5. 5

The hands shake you and you snap back to reality spitting blood out onto the ground.

 

“Oh my god,” Carlos exhales holding a hand over his chest, “I thought you were dead. Can you walk?”

 

You blink numbly, your brain doesn’t register its Carlos standing over you. Your chest feels heavy and full, your lungs rattle with what you hope is phlegm.

 

“Okay,” Carlos says and takes off his flannel, “Here, Cecil. Pick him up with this. It’ll soak up some of the blood I hope.” Cecil takes the flannel and half wraps it around you, using it to pick you up.

 

“Cecil?” You squint at him.

 

“Yeah. Now is probably not the best time for you to say my name, okay?” Cecil says and hoists you up holding you like a baby.

 

“Alright. Let’s hurry.” Carlos says and walks to the car. You hear it unlock and your eyes flutter shut again.

 

* * *

 

 

The cold water runs down your forehead and you open your eyes to the red stained bath. Carlos wipes your face with a cool towel. “Welcome back,” He says with laughter in his voice.

 

“You came back for me?” You ask him in a strained voice.

 

“Cecil said we needed too,” Carlos smiles and chips dried blood off your forehead, “When we got there you were laying on the ground, passed out. I thought maybe… I don’t know… something upset you and that collar of yours… you know…”

 

“No,” You say, the lights hurt your eyes and your body is shaking. The rooms way too cold. “I…I just got suddenly dizzy.”

 

“You’re running a fever,” Carlos explains as he scrubs with the towel, a large dried piece falls into the water.

 

“It wasn’t me. I didn’t do it.” You tell him, eyes half lidded.

 

“I know,” Carlos says, “I met other you before remember? In the desert, he tried to strangle me. I just didn’t think you were in there anymore.”

 

“You know I killed Dennis then?” You mumble.

 

“Yeah.” He says and dips a cup into a bucket of water next to him outside the tub. He pours it over your head. Red and black run down your face and splatter on the bottom of the tub. Your clothes are still on, heavy and sticky red.

 

“This stuff is really caked on for you only being alone a month,” Carlos says and tries to clear away more of your face.

 

“Alright, my turn,” Cecil walks into the bathroom. Carlos drops the towel into the bucket of water and gets up.

 

“Carlos!” You speak panicked.

 

“I’m just going to be outside. Cecil’s safe. It’s fine Kevin.” Carlos leaves the room.

 

You whimper as Cecil puts a folded set of clothes down on the counter. “Alright…” He seems more hesitant than Carlos, granted he has reason to be.

 

“You’re not going to try to strangle me?” Cecil stands far enough to be out of your reach.

 

“No,” You whisper, “I don’t do that…”

 

“Alright.” Cecil sighs, “You need to uh… to…I need your clothes.”

 

“Oh,” You nod and the two of you stare at each other for a second.

 

“Right. I’ll turn around or… something.” Cecil says and turns his back to you.

 

You pull your vest off over your head and sit it down in front of you in a pile.

 

“Carlos doesn’t think you’re dangerous.” Cecil says, “And… I talked to you… before…”

 

“I know,” You sigh, “I remember. I didn’t forget.”

 

“Right… and then recently-“

 

“It wasn’t recent.” You say meaner then you intend, “I wanted help.”

 

“Right…” Cecil shifts nervously.

 

“I still blame you, you know?” You unbutton the top of your dress shirt, “For lying to me.”

 

“I had my reasons behind it,” Cecil speaks defensively, “It wasn’t my place to tell you what would happen.”

 

“Ha!” Your mouth opens in exasperation, “It wasn’t your _place_ to potentially save not just mine, oh no, but an entire town? From horrible, horrible experimentation and manipulation? Oh! But it must’ve been completely yours to save your own right?”

 

“Everything happens for a reason Kevin.”

 

“That’s a load of horse shit Cecil.”

 

The silence falls between the two of you. Cecil’s arms crossed over his chest and his foot tapping impatiently.

 

“I blame you Cecil, but that doesn’t mean I hate you,” You take off your shirt and throw it next to the vest, “Not in the way you hate me.”

 

“I rescued you didn’t I?” He says as you pull off your pants.

 

“And I’m still confused as to why.” You rest your head on the ledge of the tub, “Why rescue me?”

 

“I couldn’t let you suffer like that,” He exhales, “You weren’t always… homicidal.”

 

“I’m not. I said that already. And I’m undressed.” You tell him. Cecil comes over claiming your blood soaked clothes.

 

“No hot water,” He taps the faucet, “Only cold. You’re running a fever and trust me you don’t want to go to the hospitals here.”

 

You hiss at him. Cecil turns and squints at you. He opens his jaw exposing pointed rows of teeth and hisses back before leaving the room. You sit in the tub and blink a couple times. You can honestly say you didn’t expect that.

 

 

* * *

 

“You clean Kevin?” Carlos’ voice calls through the door.

 

“Yes.” You respond and he enters the bathroom.

 

“Well… Cecil’s clearly taller than you…” Carlos snorts. You puff out your cheeks in irritation. The fuchsia pants are way too long and the sleeves of the rainbow knit sweater cover your hands.

 

“I thought you guys were the same size, this is kind of adorable.” Carlos smirks.

 

“Shut up,” You shake your head at him.

 

“I’m sorry. It’s just… oh my god you’re small.”

 

“I’m not small!” You jump catching on the pants and stumbling. Carlos catches your hand and stabilizes you, “Your boyfriends just the slenderman incarnate.”

 

“Here,” Carlos rolls up the sleeves on the sweater, “I don’t think we can do anything about the pants though. So just walk carefully. Come on.” He takes your hand and walks with you out of the bathroom and down the stairs. You squeeze his hand tightly.

 

He leads you into the kitchen. Cecil’s sitting at the chair with a mug in his hands, “Oh my gods you’re so small.”

 

“What the hell!” You say holding your hand sup in surrender.

 

“We’re you wearing platforms or something last time we met? You are literally, hilariously short.” He snorts and drinks his coffee.

 

“Fight me Cecil,” You cross your arms, “And no. Maybe I just intimidated you that much.”

 

Carlos hands you a cup of ice water, “Here drink that.”

 

“Why can’t I have coffee?” You state offended.

 

“Because you’re running a fever you can have it tomorrow if it’s gone.” Carlos smirks at you.

 

You look down at the cup in your hands, “I’m letting you know right now. This is actively bullshit.”

 

* * *

 

 

Carlos takes you up the stairs, “Here. You can sleep in this room. The beds small, cause Janice usually sleeps in it, but we can figure something else out tomorrow.”

 

“Thank you Carlos…” You say softly, “For not leaving me there…”

 

He kisses the top of your forehead, just above your third eye. Your breath catches but the gesture is so gentle and soft that you don’t find yourself panicking like usual. “Goodnight Kevin.” He smiles at you softly. He opens his mouth to say something but then closes it deciding against it. “If you need anything we’re the next door to the left.”

 

“Okay.” You nod and Carlos exits the room. You smile softly to yourself, cheeks dusted with gold blush, you can see the illumination its creating and you purr excitedly.

 

You sit on the bed and look at a picture frame on the nightstand next to you. Janice is grinning in between Cecil and Carlos. You can’t help but smile at it, the two look less like doting uncles and more like parents.

 

“I’d rather you not,” Cecil says from the doorframe. You jump surprised and set it down.

 

“Do you make noise when you walk?” You shake your head, “You’re like a cat.”

 

“I want to talk to you,” Cecil looks about nervously, “about things, then maybe we can understand one another better.”

 

“Okay… I don’t think you and _I_ as in me presently have ever actually had a conversation face to face but okay. Let’s try it,” You turn to look at him while sitting cross legged.

 

“Okay,” Cecil says, “First, why do you phrase it like that, there seems to be a distinction between you and you?”

 

“I can’t explain it. Sometimes… I’m completely normal, like I am now. A little worse for wear sure, but I’m still me; and then other times… I’m not me, I’m someone else in my body. And me, this me that you’re talking to, I’m not a threat Cecil. I promise,” You try to explain.

 

“How do I know… for sure?” He hurries to add the last part.

 

“You don’t. That’s the thing.” You close your mouth and look down, “I wish I could help you feel confirmation… your niece is very pretty. She looks just like you.”

 

“I know.” Cecil says flatly, “Okay, second question. That. Why?” He points to your third eye still sewn shut, “Why don’t you open it.”

 

“I’d rather not.” You say quickly, “It hurt going in and I expect the same of it coming out…”

 

“You’re stunted you know that right,” Cecil leans against the wall.

 

“What?” You grow defensive.

 

“You don’t have enough teeth, your eyes all sewn up, it doesn’t look like you can manifest your markings-”

 

“I could manifest them just fine thank you.” You growl.

 

“I’m trying to help you Kevin. We’re the same species, and there aren’t a lot of us left anywhere.” Cecil says with a dismissive flick of the hand, “In fact you’re the only one I’ve seen that I’m not related too.”

 

You shut up and sit on the bed mildly offended. Cecil sighs, “You’re like a child. You get angry so easily.”

 

“I have a right to.” You snap at the white haired man. He gives you a questioning look.

 

“Yeah, well. I’m not going to talk to you if you’re going to be so hostile.” Cecil rolls his eyes and leaves the room. “Sleep well Kevin,” He says as the dark of the room closes in.

 

 You glare at the door, “I can’t sleep Cecil.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

You wake up, panicked, wrapped in the blankets of the bed. You shake violently. The room feels freezing. You shaking stand to your feet and step out into the hall. You walk to the left and knock on the door. Your teeth clatter together noisily.

 

“Carlos?” You call. There’s no response and you shift from foot to foot nervously before walking back to your room. A note hangs on your door. “Oh.” You reach out and pull it down.

 

_‘Cecil left for work. I had a science emergency to attend to. Khoshekh is in the house. Do not make eye contact. We’ll be back to get him when all of this is sorted out. DO NOT TURN ON THE FAUCETS.’_

 

“Okay…” You turn around. The black cat inches in front of you. You release a short shout, and he meows at you. Well, less of a meow more of a guttural growl.

 

“Hey, kitty…” You laugh nervously, “You don’t want to hurt me right kitty?” His tail twitches back and forth. You feel like he’s staring through your soul. “I’ve dealt with… with worse then you before… I’m a good pet owner…”

 

Khoshekh walks toward you and you back up against the door, unable to run any further. He butts his head against your leg and purrs. “This is fine,” You say eyes shut tightly. Khoshekh rubs against your legs contently purring.

 

“Okay Kitty… Khoshekh…I need… to get around you kitty…” You step around Khoshekh and head down the stairs quickly. The thumping of Khoshekh running after you sounds not far behind you. You put on a pot of coffee, still shaking from the cold.

 

There’s a crash and you turn around to see Khoshekh pacing on top of the kitchen table. You try to avoid eye contact with his one, entirely white eye. He meows at you again and you jump. “What do you want from me, an apology?” You say while looking at the ceiling.

 

The coffee pot dings and you pour yourself a cup, hurrying away from the kitchen. Khoshekh chases after you grabbing the end of your pants. You stumble forward, your stomach hits the floor and you somehow, miraculously catch the cup in your hands before it hits the floor. Khoshekh climbs up onto your back turning in a circle twice before nestling on your lower back.

 

“Is this my punishment then?” You sigh. Khoshekh purrs contently in response. “That’s fair I guess.” You drink from the cup.

 

 

* * *

 

You sit on the couch, Khoshekh hopping up onto the couch next to you. He climbs into your lap kneading your, Cecil’s, pants. You slowly reach out and pet him. He grabs it in his paws biting your thumb gently and flipping over onto his back.

 

“You know you’re actually really cute…” You wiggle your thumb and he nibbles again, “This isn’t fair. You aren’t supposed to like me you know that right?” He looks up at you quickly. Your breath hitches in your throat expecting the worst.

 

He meows quietly, like a normal cat would and crawls up your chest, rubbing his head on you.

 

“Okay.” Your voice is tight and your shoulders are hunched. He starts purring softly nestled into your neck. You stroke his fur down and he lets you not moving. Your eyes flutter, tiredly. “No… I can’t sleep… can’t risk it…” You mutter. Khoshekh stays in place, purring away.

 

“I used to want a kitty cat, but Diego hated them. He said they were too messy. Yet he liked _dogs_! Can you believe that? What kind of person likes dogs and not cats?” You lay back in the seat.

 

“You’re very warm. Thank you, I was super cold.” You smile, “Do people make fun of your eye? I feel like solid white eyes would go over better then solid black ones.” You scratch behind Khoshekh’s ears and he purrs louder.

 

“Maybe I’ll just… just shut my eyes for a second…” You yawn, “You’ll make sure… he doesn’t show up… right?” Your eyes flutter closed as you cuddle up to the warmth of the cat.

 

 

* * *

 

“Here Khoshekh,” Cecil peaks his head into the house, looking around, “Here kitty kitty…” You squeeze your eyes shut tightly trying to ignore his calls. “Where’s my beautiful boy?” He calls and clicks his tongue and walks into the living room.

 

You can hear his breath hitch, “Khoshekh…” You feel the cat’s small paws run down your stomach and hear the thump of him hitting the floor.

 

“That hurt you tiny ball of knives,” You say and sit up, blinking your eyes at Cecil, “Hello.”

 

“He… came to you?” Cecil bends down and picks up Khoshekh into his arms.

 

“Yes? I mean, I tried to avoid him but he’s persistent,” You explain and can feel red crossing over your cheeks, “He’s really friendly.”

 

“Not usually.” Cecil scratches behind Khoshekh’s ear and the cat purrs, “It must’ve been because you were wearing my clothes.”

 

“Maybe,” You shrug, “He was good to cuddle with…” 

 

“Yeah,” Cecil shifts nervously, “you didn’t touch any of the faucets did you?” He glares.

 

“No. I read Carlos’ note. I’m a responsible adult.” You sigh. You hate that he’s so afraid of you.

 

Cecil looks to the ceiling and exhales deeply, “Hey Kevin. Do you want to come with me to bring Khoshekh back to the bathroom?”

 

“I… just you and me?” You sit up quickly.

 

“Yeah…” Cecil nods and looks you up and down, “But not in those.”

 

“You didn’t leave me anything else to wear. So I just left them on.” You confess sheepishly.

 

“They are way too big for you. Follow me.” Cecil says and walks up the stairs. You follow behind him quickly, having to take the steps two at a time to keep up with him.

 

He walks into his and Carlos’ bedroom and opens the closet, “Let’s see…” He hums as he digs through a box on the bottom of the closet. “Here.” He holds out a pair of pants to you, “They’re from when I was… smaller.”

 

“Smaller?” You raise a brow at him.

 

“Yes Kevin. Smaller. Before I went through my metamorphosis,” Cecil says like you’re stupid.

 

“I feel like that should’ve offended me,” You say as Cecil throws a t-shirt at you, “But I have no clue what you’re talking about.” 

 

Cecil exhales through his nose, “Do you even know what we are.”

 

“I assumed I was human.” You say, “Or close to it.”

 

 Cecil starts laughing, “No! You’re not even close to human. I don’t think we’re even human at all.”

 

“Okay then what are we if you’re so smart,” You snap at him.

 

“There’s no word for it, or it there is I was never told it. Some part changeling, some part alien, some siren, some demon, a smidge of angel; which by the way not exist. All mixed together till you get this concoction of different things,” Cecil says, “Abby told me that my mother said there were lots of us. Not here but somewhere else, but that we had to come here, or I guess in your case there. To be safe. But that was a long time ago. Before my grandparents even moved here.”

 

You stare at him blankly.

 

“Which is _why_ I can’t figure out why you’re so small.” Cecil continues but you can see the discomfort returning.

 

“You’re crazy.” You say with a nod of your head.

 

“I’m not Kevin! It’s the truth! Me, Jancie, Abby, and now you. We’re all the same thing.” Cecil says, “I knew that the first time I saw you. But I didn’t like you. Now Carlos wants me to be nice to you so can we at least find some kind of middle ground here? Some, kinship?”

 

“Yeah… okay… but not because you’re ‘just like me’,” You snort, “because your cat likes me, and so does Carlos.” You take the clothes Cecil handed you and hurry out of the room.

 

 

* * *

 

            “There we go,” Cecil said gently setting Khoshekh about four feet into the air. The bathroom was completely trashed. Bits of green slime dripping off the walls.

 

            “What the heck happened?” You say with your eyebrows knit together.

 

            “Eh. The usual,” Cecil said with a shrug, “You’ll get used to it.”

 

            “So… he just stays there?” You wring your hands nervously.

 

            “Who? Khoshekh? Yeah he’s happy there.” Cecil says with a nod and scratches the cat’s chin, “Let’s go.” Cecil reaches for the door but his phone starts ringing loudly. Well if you could call it ringing, it’s more of a guttural chant from beyond time.

 

            “Hi Carlos,” Cecil says glancing at you, “huh? No he’s with me. No he’s not dead. He’s a grown man Carlos not a child. We went to bring Khoshekh back. I will talk down to you if you’re being hysterical… hm? Oh yeah that sounds nice. Okay, I’ll meet you there.”

 

            “Come on let’s get in the car, we’re going to meet Carlos at Big Rico’s,” Cecil says and heads out of the building. You hurry behind him close to his heels as he gets in the car. You scoot into the passenger’s seat.

 

            Cecil starts the car and begins driving in silence. You watch his face closely. He looks tired, you try to look over the purple and silver flush on his cheeks and forehead. The lavender undertones of his hair looks dingy and faded. His eyes seem more sunken than usual, and his breathing is labored.

 

            “Cecil…” You say concern taking over, “Are you okay? I-I can drive if you want me too.”

 

            “No. I’m fine,” He growls out with a grimace on his face, “I’m perfectly fine.”

 

            “You look hurt…” You say, “I know how to drive Cecil. It’s really no problem…”

 

            He exhales through his nose roughly and pulls the car over, “Switch.” He says getting out of his side. You scramble to hurry out and slide into the driver’s seat.

 

            “Are you sure you know how to do this?” Cecil says as he buckles himself in.

 

            “Yup. Positive,” You pull back into the street. You haven’t driven a car in years, but you don’t really think you should tell Cecil that. “You have to make a left, after three exits.”

 

            “Okay, no problem.” You do as he says happily tapping the wheel. It feels good to be in control of something for once.


	6. 6

“Hey,” Carlos whispers softly in the middle of the night. You sit up in your bed and look around the room, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

 

            “Hey,” Comes Cecil’s soft reply from the hallway, “What’s wrong?”

 

            “Nothing,” Carlos says with a small giggle, “Thank you. Thank you for trying with him.”

 

            “He’s not… that bad,” Cecil admits grumpily, “He is a hot head though.”

 

            “Soon enough, the town will get used to him. And then it’ll just be us again alright?” Carlos whispers.

 

            “Please, Carlos,” Cecil says with a certain malice, “You know you physically can’t do that.”

 

            “I…I can,” Carlos’ voice gives away his uncertainty, “I…I’m not attached.”

 

            “Carlos.” Cecil says in a warning tone, “You checked on him not once, not twice, no not even three times last night, but five. Five times Carlos.”

 

            “So?” Carlos mumbles.

 

            “Carlos he was only asleep for four hours!”

 

            Silence.

 

            “Carlos, listen. I get it, you’re attached to him. I don’t mind that. But it almost feels like…like…” Cecil hums a bit, choosing his words carefully, “Like you have feelings for him.”

 

            Silence.

 

            “Carlos say something.” Cecil’s tone is frightened.

 

            “It’s… complicated,” Carlos whispers, “I…” He sighs, “I love you Cecil.”

 

            “I love you too.” Cecil says quickly.

 

            “But. I feel similarly… if not the same about Kevin,” Carlos’ voice drops.

 

            “I,” Cecil’s tone has a quiver in it that you don’t recognize in the hosts voice, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

            “Because I knew you’d be like this,” Carlos’ footsteps move closer.

 

            “Carlos,” Cecil inhales deeply again, trying to catch his breath, “I don’t _care_ that you like him. I don't care that you _love_ him. It bothers me that you wouldn’t tell me about it.”

 

            “What?” Carlos sounds surprised.

 

            “Carlos. Non-monogamy is _normal_ in Nightvale. In fact, being monogamous is strange,” Cecil huffs, “But I’m offended that you thought I’d be upset with you.”

 

            “Jesus Cecil I don’t want to date him.” Carlos says quickly.

 

            “Carlos that’s rude,” Cecil retaliates quickly.

 

            “How is it rude?” Carlos says, “He’s not here.”

 

            Cecil twists the door knob and you fall out into the hallway.

 

            “I wasn’t listening!” You’re quick to defend yourself, “I didn’t hear anything! In fact, I have no clue what you’re talking about!”

 

            Cecil gestures to you with a straight hand and a stomp of his foot.

 

            “Cecil! You know I can’t see things like you.” Carlos huffs.

 

            “I should go,” You go to scoot away from the door.

 

            “No! You stay.” Cecil points at you, “This involves you too.”

 

            “What involves me?” You play dumb.

 

            Carlos stares at you and Cecil glares.

 

            “I did not consent to this love triangle.” You speak monotone.

 

            “See! He was listening!” Cecil says, “So that, what you said was very rude!”

 

            “I didn’t know he was there Cecil!” Carlos shouts.

 

            “Can I go?” You ask sheepishly.

 

            “No!” They shout in unison.

 

            You sit on the ground, legs folded and arms crossed.

 

            “It feels like cheating,” Carlos says firmly.

 

            “It’s not cheating if I know about it Carlos!” Cecil pinches the bridge of his nose, “I don’t have a problem with it.”

 

            “Excuse me,” You say from the floor.

 

            “I know but it feels like it!” Carlos seems irritated.

 

            “Hello…” You try again.

 

            “Why are you stuck in your human ways,” Cecil huffs loudly.

 

            “HEY!” You shout and the two look down at you. “You know it’s pretty shitty for you guys not to ask my opinion about it and still make me sit here.”

 

            “I just assumed…” Cecil’s mouth is closed tightly.

 

            You stand up, “Maybe I like Carlos. But that doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with dating him right now, if at all. And it certainly doesn’t mean that I’m going to steal him from under your nose or anything Cecil, I’m a decent fucking person.” You turn to Carlos, “And you, to begin with. That’s your boyfriend, you tell him these things. You’re lucky he’s okay with this, because I would’ve beat the hell out of Diego for-“ You freeze up, your mouth tastes like bile and your anger dissipates, “you know what? It doesn’t matter.” You walk into the room and close the door behind you.

 

 

* * *

 

            You lay on the bed looking up at the ceiling. There’s glow in the dark stars on the roof and they illuminate soft artificial green. You count them in your head a couple times. It doesn’t make you feel any better, but it doesn’t make you feel any worse either.

 

            “Hi Kevin.” Cecil says from your left. You jump and roll off the bed to the right. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

 

You shake on the ground, “Jesus Christ. Don’t ever sneak up on me! You got lucky!” You climb up and sit on the bed cross legged.

 

“I wanted to say thank you,” Cecil sits on the bed next to you, “And that I’m sorry… Carlos won’t because… well he has trouble with that sort of thing. So, sorry on his behalf too.”

 

“Apology accepted.” You sigh.

 

“Do you… feel things for him?” Cecil looks self-conscious, and his shoulders hunch to make himself seem smaller.

 

“Yeah,” You nod, “Yeah. I do.”

 

“Why?” Cecil asks his voice soft quiet.

 

“He was kind to me.” You hug your knees to your chest, “He isn’t scared of me despite what I’ve done. He… sees potential in me?”

 

Cecil laughs and his shoulders shake as he does, “I just thought he was pretty.”

 

“Well he is that too,” You smile.

 

“You really aren’t that bad you know.” Cecil stretches, “I can certainly see why Carlos developed feelings for you.”

 

“Yeah, but he’s pretty stupid.” You smirk.

 

“Huh?” Cecil looks at you offended, “I’ll have you know Carlos is a very smart scientist and-“

 

“Because he has such a good boyfriend already,” You cut him off, “let me finish next time.”

 

Cecil’s cheeks flush purple and silver, “Thank you Kevin.” He clears his throat, “So… do you want to talk about it?”

 

“About what? Carlos and I or…”

 

“About Diego,” Cecil looks at you, “Who is he?”

 

“I-“ Your breath catches in your throat and you shake your head at Cecil, “Stop.”

 

“You can’t heal if you don’t talk about it,” Cecil continues.

 

“Cecil. Please.” Your breath is strained, “I can’t get upset.”

 

“Sure you can.” Cecil says, “You can get as upset as you like now. So, I’m assuming Diego was your boyfriend.” 

 

“No Cecil I really can’t.” Your heart beats faster and your palms sweat. Your body begins to tremble, “He was nobody. Doesn’t matter. He doesn’t matter.” Your breath shortens.

 

Cecil doesn’t press further but you find yourself babbling anyways.

 

“I mean! He wasn’t even important enough to mention,” You laugh, laughing boiling up inside you, “He was no one! He was no one! He was no one!”

 

“Kevin,” Cecil gets up. You can read the fear in his eyes.

 

You stop laughing quickly, swallowing it. Your expression falls into despair, “I’m so sorry…I didn’t…I didn’t want to hurt you.” Tears fall down your cheeks. The emotional correctness does its job and you curl in on yourself into a tight ball. You grind your teeth tightly. You probably deserve this.  You want to believe you deserve it.

 

You grunt loudly. Cecil stands in front of you, his eyes wide. He doesn’t say a word. Just watches. You look at him with desperation. Black eyes meet lavender ones. “’M kay…” You tell him as you struggle for your breath again, “’M ‘appy.” 

 

“Did they do that to you…” Cecil bites him bottom lip, “Did Strex Corp do that to you?”

 

You nod as feeling returns to your body and you unfold, “There’s been worse. They would’ve done it to you too.”

 

Cecil starts to head out of the room, “Do you want the lights off still?”

 

“No thank you. I’m not sleeping…”

 

“Alright.” Cecil nods and flips the lights on before leaving the room.

 

“Thank you.”

 

 

* * *

 

“No,” You can hear Cecil’s voice from the bedroom next door loudly protesting.

 

“Yes. You’re not okay Cecil.” Carlos says firmly.

 

“I’m fine. I can make it to the station.” Cecil protests. You come and stand in your door frame to listen.

 

“I’m not going to work and neither are you.” Carlos keeps his stance tough.

 

“I can walk just fine. I’m not sick.” Cecil sasses.

 

“Okay then.” Carlos smirks, “Walk to me.”

 

“No,” Cecil presses his lips closed and upturns his nose, “Maybe I don’t want to.”

 

Carlos sighs, “Cecil, it’s fine if you can’t, we’ll have an easy day at home. You have prerecorded messages right?”

 

“Yes…” Cecil grumbles, “I don’t want them tapping my phone again.”

 

Carlos smiles, “Good. I care about you, you know.”

 

“I know,” Cecil nuzzles into the blankets, “Will you call Josie?”

 

“Why?” Carlos questions raising a brow.

 

Cecil turns over covering the blanket over his head, “Because I want good food, and I’m really sorry Carlos… but you make… _really awful_ food.”

 

“I can make you some,” You walk over next to Carlos and look between him and Cecil, “I got really good at cooking…”

 

Carlos looks at Cecil.

 

“No wheat or wheat by products Kevin.” Cecil says and snuggles into the blankets.

 

* * *

 

 

“It’s rice and beef. I think. Nightvale food is really weird.” You hand Cecil the bowl with a fork.

 

“Yes,” He grins and sits up taking a bite, “This is really good Kevin! You weren’t lying.” You smile and shrug flattered. A deep rumbling sounds from under the bed. “Yes, I hear you, here.” Cecil sighs and drops a piece of beef onto the ground a shadow dashes out and grabs it in its giant jaws before crawling back under the bed.

 

“Thank you Kevin,” Cecil says and keeps eating.

 

“You looked fine yesterday, what happened…” You ask.

 

“Fine?” Cecil snorts, “Don’t lie Kevin I saw you stare in the car. It’s the whole reason you drove.” 

 

“Well… I guess…” You mutter, “I just… I don’t know… you looked… faded?”  You recall his dinginess in the car.

 

“I just get sick sometimes, it’s no big deal. Carlos makes a big deal about it every single time,” Cecil pouts, “I just get really fatigued and walking becomes exhausting. Let alone hosting. If I really needed too I could, but… that’s not happening as long as Carlos sees that I’m not feeling well. He probably wouldn’t have slept in that late if we didn’t… you little sneak.” He laughs heartily, “You got me talking.”

 

“Not intentionally,” You shake your head quickly, “I was just talking to talk.”

 

Cecil laughs, “That’s typically what we do. People want to hear what we have to say. Even if it isn’t interesting. I can’t believe _you_ of all people got me talking.”

 

You laugh nervously to break tension, “What can I say? I’m pretty sociable.”

 

“Thank you for the meal again Kevin,” he says as he drops a plop of rice over the side of the bed for the monster. You nod and exit the room.

 

Only to come nose to nose with Carlos.

 

“Hello…” You avoid eye contact as best you can.

 

“I was coming to get you,” Carlos explains as he takes a large step backwards, “Cecil told me what happened last night… and well…I want to try and stop it.”

 

“You mean you want to take the collar off.”

 

“And disable it as best I can. With your consent of course.” Carlos adds quickly, “I’ll try to make it as painless as I can.”

 

Your fingers drum over it gently, “Let’s do it.”


	7. 7

Carlos has you sat on a table in his in home lab, which is actually just another one of the guest rooms in their small house that Carlos has repurposed. You try to keep your heart rate calm. You’re terrified of hospitals, doctors, and labs in general. Carlos is near indistinguishable with his goggles, gloves, face mask, and lab coat on. Your hands only tremble slightly as other you begs to defend your body.

 

            “I’m going to try and cut the wire first,” Carlos’ voice is muffled from the mask. You nod eyes shut tightly. “If it’s too much tell me Kevin and I’ll stop.”

 

            “Just hurry up and do it,” You hiss.

 

            His hands touch your neck and your breath hitches. You have to constantly remind yourself that it’s Carlos and not Diego. That he isn’t suddenly going to squeeze down on your throat. That you’re safe.

 

            He presses down on the wire with wire cutters. The collar blares a loud alarm and pulses of electricity rush through you. You scream.

 

            “Kevin! Kevin!” Carlos drops the wire cutters and goes to check on you.

 

            “Don’t stop there!” You growl at him.

 

            “Right!” He picks the cutter up in his hand and presses down again. You curse loudly as he keeps pressing. Your vision spots and your body shakes. You cry, the tears racing down your face.

 

            The alarm ceases as Carlos lets go of the wire and sets the wire cutters down, “What the hell.” He huffs, “It’s not cutting… Kevin are you okay?”  He goes to check on you again.

 

            You blink numbly at him. Your mouth moves but no words come out.

 

            “Kevin.” Carlos says softly and runs his hand through your hair. You whimper. “Do you want me to stop?” You shake your head no once.  “You think you can handle more?” You nod. “Alright… we’re going to take a five-minute break though.”

 

            “Thas fair,” You mumble. Carlos walks away for a moment. You look down at your hands, they shift and unfocus in your vision. You can’t keep them still long enough to focus on them.

 

            “Alright.” Carlos reenters the room, “Let’s go round two…” He picks up the wire cutters again, “you good to go?” you nod at him. “Alright.” He steps behind you and sets to work again. Immediately the alarm kicks up and the electrical shocks are applied.

 

            You whimper as they render you unable to move your body. The tears return, mixing with red and black as they drip down across your face. You can taste the blood in the back of your throat, but this time it’s your blood.

 

            “Ow,” You speak involunatarily, “Ow, ow… Carlos…Carlos... it hurts it hurts!” He drops the cutters and hurries to see you face to face again. He pulls his mask down. His eyes scan over you quickly. “It hurts,” You whimper.

 

            He pulls you into a tight hug and runs his hands through your hair quickly. He’s breathing heavy. “I’ve almost got it Kevin. We’re almost there. I promise. Just a little more.” You blink at him with blood ringed eyes. He looks away quickly, “We can stop.”

 

            “No.” You mutter, “no. I can do it. Just a little more… I can do it…”

 

            “Alright,” Carlos says and kisses above your third eye, “I’ll try to be as fast as possible.”

 

            He disappears behind you and you feel his hands soft on your neck. You close your eyes waiting. He hesitates before digging in again.

 

            You grunt loudly, trying to work through the pain. You open your eyes but it’s so spotted you can’t see what going on in front of you. You blink but it gets darker every time you open your eyes.

           

            You hear Carlos say something from behind you, but he sounds muffled. You turn your head in the direction you think he’s in. He says something again; you think it’s your name.

 

            “I’m Kevin.” You say and fall forward into his chest.

 

            He calls your name but he still sounds weird. You blink, your vision is a little better. You can make out the value differences in the shadows of Carlos verses the back ground.

 

            “Can you hear me Kevin?” His hands cup your head.

 

            “Yes…” Your vision slowly focuses; you can make out Carlos’ shape but he’s fuzzy. You blink again. “You’re all… blurry…” You stare at him.

 

            “I cut it Kevin. I just have to get the collar off now. That’s going to be the easy part.” Carlos smiles at you. You smile back dopily.

 

            “You’ve got nice teeth there,” You hum. Carlos’s posture gets a little stiffer and he walks over to you. You can feel the machine against your skin but you don’t move to look at it. You feel the weight around your neck lessen and hear a clattering of metal on the ground.

 

            “Yes,” Carlos whispers triumphantly under his breath.

 

            “What is it?” You turn and look down but you can’t tell what it is. Everything’s blurry.

           

            “It’s the collar Kevin.” He picks it up and puts it in your hands. You rub your thumb over its metal surface.

 

            “It’s off.” You blink at it.

 

            “Yup!” Carlos pulls you into a tight hug.

 

            “I can’t see… it’s all blurry.” You say and touch under your eyes. Your fingers come away with red and black stains.

 

            Carlos looks around the room and comes over with a shoe box, “Here.” He hands you a pair of glasses.

 

            “Why?” You say.

 

            “I’m testing something Kevin. Put them on.” Carlos looks absolutely giddy… or maybe he’s angry? You can’t tell. You put the glasses on anyways. They don’t help.

 

            “Can you see better?” Carlos asks. You shake your head no.

 

            “Alright.” He takes them from you and hands you another pair.

 

The world focuses quickly and you blink rapidly, “Oh wow.”

           

            “Better?” Carlos smiles. You nod at him. Carlos pulls you into a tight hug again and he kisses the top of your head. “It’s over Kevin. You don’t have to worry about that anymore.” You smile up at him and open your mouth to say something but the words never come out.

 

 

* * *

 

            You’re lying in someone’s lap. You turn your head and look up to see Carlos. Contently channel flipping. His hand running through your hair, fingering at it gently. He takes note of you being awake but doesn’t break the silence between you two.

 

            “Is it all gone?” You ask him.

 

            “Most of it. I didn’t want to put you through more strain then you had to in one sitting,” He settles on a documentary, “Cecil’s okay, but I figured you’d need some comfort after that.”

 

            “Thank you Carlos.” You say and move to sit up. Your body aches all over and you hiss at the pain that runs through you.

 

            “It took a lot out of you.” He says, “you stay put too. I can watch both of you for the rest of the day.”

 

            “My body hurts…” You whine.

 

            “Good. That means you aren’t paralyzed.” He frowns when he says this, “You should’ve told me it was too much.”

 

            “It wasn’t,” You huff.

 

            “Kevin,” Carlos pulls the glasses off your face, “Tell me what the living room looks like to you now.”

 

            “Fuzz…” You grumble. He puts them back on you.

 

            “You messed up your eye sight pretty bad.” Carlos shakes his head, “I’m not like you and Cecil. I can’t tell when you’re lying to me about being able to take more. Well... I usually can with Cecil now, but I’m still getting used to you.” 

 

            “It was worth it.” You nuzzle into Carlos’ lap, “I’d do the same thing again, for less.”

           

            “Kevin don’t say that.” Carlos sighs playing with your hair.

 

            You nuzzle up into his lap and purr gently. He smiles and continues to stroke your hair.

 

            “Kitty cat,” He teases and leans back into the couch, “Cecil’s going to come down the stairs soon… he always comes down close to dinner time. I should stop him before he hurts himself.”

 

            “No,” You whine and grab his shirt, “stay.”

 

            “I want to,” Carlos exhales and stands to his feet, “I’ll be back let me just make sure he’s all good.”

 

            “Okay…” You flop onto your back on the couch. Carlos stops and looks down at you before walking up the stairs.

 

            Your hand travels to where the collar had rested on your neck. The skin is raised and tender. You wince when you touch it. Your hand moves to the back of your neck and travels up to where the wire is cut. You can feel just the tip of where it feeds up under your skin. You want it out. You pinch it in your fingers and pull.

 

            “Christ!” You hiss and release it quickly.

 

            “Kevin!” Carlos’ footsteps come down the stairs quickly. Your hand shoots down to your side. Carlos looks over the couch at you, “Did you mess with the wire.”

 

            “No,” you say with a shake of your head.

 

            He pinches the bridge of his nose, “Alright.” He sounds strained. A loud thump sends you and him looking up at the ceiling.

 

            “Cecil! Honestly!” He runs up the stairs again.

 

 

* * *

 

            _“I’m disappointed in you Kevin.” Diego growls from the doorway._

_“I’m sorry,” You step back into a corner._

_“I told you not to tamper with it, I told you. I warned you.” He growls, “But you just don’t learn do you? Is it because you’re stupid Kevin? You know you’re stupid right. You’re a moron. I’m amazed you can speak at all.”_

_“I won’t run away Diego please,” You whisper and slide down the wall. He stands over you his smile dark and threatening._

_He grabs your collar and lifts you up against the wall._

_“I’ll be good! I’ll be good!” You wince and brace for impact._

“Kevin, Kevin,” Carlos tries to calm you down. His hands ghost over your features. You open your eyes at him. “It’s okay Kevin,” He tries to calm you down. You cling your hands into him.

 

“I’ll be good. I promise,” You whimper. Carlos runs his hand up and down your back. “I’ll be good. I’ll do whatever you ask. I promise.” You breathe heavily into his neck.

 

“You’re not there Kevin,” Carlos speaks in a soft hushed tone, “You’re right here with me.”

 

“Carlos,” You whimper into his ear. He runs his fingers gently along your spine.

 

“That’s me. I’m here.” He continues to sooth you with his soft voice. You cling to him.

 

“I’m sorry,” You whisper.

 

“You didn’t do anything Kevin. You’re safe. You’re okay.” He holds you as tightly as you can.

 

“Don’t make me go back. I don’t want to.” You release a whimper.

 

“I won’t,” Carlos kisses the side of your head, “I won’t I promise.”

 

You pull away and blink away tears out of your eyes. Carlos runs a thumb over your cheek. His eyebrows furrowed.

 

“I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do Kevin.” He smiles genuinely at you, his eyes full of softness, of love.

 

You move toward him quickly. Your lips softly melting against his. He pushes back against you. You tilt your head. You crave the affection. You crave the attention. Carlos breaks the kiss. You stare into his eyes for a moment. He looks confused, but not angry.

 

“I’m sorry.” You apologize to break the silence.

 

“No. It’s okay,” He cups your chin.

 

“I won’t do it again.” You say quickly.

 

“It’s alright Kevin,” He assures you.

 

“Are you sure,” You look down away from him.

 

He pulls you toward him and kisses you again, quick and gentle, “Yes.”


	8. 8

_“Don’t be stupid Kevin. I never said anything like that,” Diego huffs while pushing the shopping cart down the aisles._

_“Yes you did! I vividly remember you said ‘we can get a rabbit’. And I really want one Diego please,” You puppy dog face him, your bottom lip jutted out._

_“I said no Kevin. They’re dirty and smell and I have enough trouble keeping you out of trouble, I don’t need a rabbit to take care of too.”_

_“I can take care of myself. Please Diego. I promise I’ll stay out of trouble. I will. I promise.” You clasp your hands together and stand in front of the cart, “I’ll pay for everything it needs. I promise I can do everything.”_

_Diego smirks and leans foreward, “Really Kevin? You’ll pay for it? You’ll do everything for it.”_

_“Yes! I promise!” You nod quickly._

_“With what money Kevin,” Diego leans back and pushes the cart around you. You trail behind him with your hands in your pockets._

_“Can we… buy… uhm…,” Your voice trails off._

_“If you want something Kevin use your words,” Diego says while examining a box of noodles._

_“If…if it’s okay…” You shift uncomfortably, “pop-tarts maybe?”_

_“Pop-tarts?” Diego raises a brow, “You want a pop-tart?”_

_“If it’s okay,” You whisper, your eyes trained on the ground._

_“Pop-tarts,” Diego laughs and keeps pushing the cart._

_“If we could…” You say again, “I… miss them…”_

_“Are you five Kevin please,” Diego shakes his head, “No.”_

_“If you paid me I could buy them myself,” You mumble under your breath and cross your arms._

_Diego grabs your arm and pulls you close to his face so you’re eye to eye. “Did you say something Kev? Say it louder. I don’t think I heard you Kevin. Go ahead.”_

_“I didn’t say anything…” You look down and swallow. He releases your arm. He straightens up and starts pushing the cart. “Diego…” You whimper behind him, “I’m sorry… I won’t speak out of turn.”_

_He looks back at you but continues shopping in silence. You wring your hands around each other, your heart beats rapidly in your chest. If he doesn’t accept your apology in public, you’re afraid of what will come once you’re alone._

_“Stop that,” Diego hisses and grabs your hands, “You act like I hurt you or something.”_

_“You d-“ You begin to say but shake your head no, “I’m sorry. I’ll stop.”_

* * *

 

_You put your hands on the bathroom sink. The dried blood under your nose hurts as you wipe it off with a square of toilet paper. You poke at the dark purple blue bruise on your cheek. It doesn’t hurt as much as sting. You’d gotten used to the purples greens and blues of Diego’s affection._

_You leave the bathroom and enter the kitchen. You stop and look at the blue box on the dining table. You walk over and open the package of pop-tarts with a smile. You take one of the bags and walk into the living room putting on your record. The dripping sound of rain soon fills the room and you bite into the pop-tart happily. It’s not so bad._

_You sit on the floor and breath in deeply. You feel happy. Content even. You don’t even realize the mess you’re making on the floor. The crumbs fall into the carpet. You wouldn’t have noticed if it was still your house. You wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t been walked in on. You wouldn’t have noticed if Diego didn’t._

_“What the fuck is this Kevin.” He shouts before you can react. You shut your eyes as he drags you up off the floor. “You. Are. Making. A. Mess.” He smiles toothily at you, “Do you honestly expect me to pick this up?”_

_“No Di,” You shake your head, “I would’ve cleaned it up after. I promise. I promise.” He shakes your body. “I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY!” You plead with him, “I won’t do it again! I learned! I promise! I won’t do it again!”_

_He throws you back onto the ground. “You just think you’re so fucking adorable don’t you?”_

_“No Di,” You scoot back away from him. He steps on your leg pinning you in place. His hand takes hold of your shoulder and pulls you toward him. “That hurts!” You shout loudly. He steps hard and digs his fingers into your shoulder blade._

_“Ow! Diego stop it!” You try to pull away but it only increases the pain. You hear a soft noise come from him and your heart stops in your throat. He’s laughing at you._

_“Aw, is Kevin feeling stupid now?” He pulls hard and you shout as you hear your bone snap. “Maybe if you were a little smarter we wouldn’t have this problem!! Maybe if you weren’t completely brain dead you could manage to follow the rules.”_

_He releases your arm and kneels down in front of you his knee in your abdomen. “Poor little Kevin. Oh his problems are so big aren’t they,” Diego taunts. You whimper as he laces your fingers and kisses you gently, “Poor little Kevin.” He mutters against your lips, “I love you.” He coos gently._

_“I-I love you too,” You smile at him feverishly, “I love you Di-Augh!” You cry as he bends your fingers back with a crack. His expression emotionless and empty._

_“I’m done.” He says and stands up leaving you on the floor. He adjusts his coat, “I’m going upstairs. I’ve had a long day. Please vacuum Kev. I don’t want ants.”_

* * *

 

_Your side aches when you wake up. Your arm is swollen and your fingers are as black and blue as your face. You can’t move them. You can’t move any of your arm. You sit up and take hold of your arm pushing it back into place with a soft but audible pop._

_You can move your arm with difficulty now but your fingers still don’t respond. You make a whimper and walk to the bathroom. You open the cabinet and search for something to bind them in place. You settle on some bandages and wrap them tightly. You struggle to hold back tears of pain. It’s not so bad. You’ve definitely had worse. No blood was drawn. That’s good._

_“Kev,” Diego peaks into the bathroom. He looks at your hand, “Here. Let me help with that.” He unwraps the bandage and holds your fingers delicately in his hand. He takes more of the bandage and wraps it around your hand, tighter then you had it. You wince. “I know it hurts.” He surveys your shoulder, “Only bruised. You look fine.”_

_“I’m sorry,” You swallow and shift nervously. Diego pulls you into a hug._

_“I know. It’s okay. I forgive you.” He rubs your back, “Hey. Kev.”_

_“Yes Diego.”_

_“I got you something.” He holds you away from him with a smile… or is it a smirk?_

_“What…” You’re cautious. Presents are either really good or really bad._

_“Follow me,” He heads toward your living room. You walk behind him a decent way away. He sits on the floor. You hesitantly sit down across from him.  “Are you ready?”_

_“No. Not especially…” You stare at him._

_He reaches into his coat and pulls out a rabbit._

_“Di!” You take it from him and kiss the top of the white rabbit’s head, “Di thank you.” You stroke it’s fur back. “They’re precious. Thank you. I didn’t think you’d actually get it. I didn’t…” You burry your nose into it’s fur._

_“You can have whatever you want Kevin,” Diego’s face is as monotone as it usually is._

_“I love you Diego,” You lean forward._

_“I love you too,” He meets you halfway and pecks your lips._

* * *

 

_The rabbit runs back and forth in front of you. You watch it with your eyes closely. It pauses and stares at you. You smile and enjoy the scene in front of you._

_“Kevin. Please get off the floor.” Diego pushes you with his foot._

_“Look how cute he is. He’s a good boy,” You smile at the bunny and crawl toward it._

_“Kevin! Off the floor!” Diego huffs, “You are getting all dirty and you have to do a show today.”_

_“Fight me Diego,” You and as soon as the words leave your mouth you regret them._

_He steps on you hard and pushes down into your back._

_“Ow! Di! Ow, ow, ow! Stop!” You attempt to crawl across the floor but he holds you still._

_“Alright.” He steps off you and crosses the room picking up the rabbit._

_“Wait! Diego!” You stand up._

_“I’ll see you soon Kevin.” He says as he leaves the house._

_“Di please!” You chase him out to the front of the house. He gets in his car and sets the rabbit down in the passenger’s seat._

_“No,’ He says through the glass, “you need to learn. You maybe be the voice of this town, and your job may be speaking. But when I want you quiet Kevin. I want you quiet. If you want to keep things you care about you’d learn to comply.”_

_He drove out of the gate in a spit of dust. You whimpered sitting down on your knees. You could feel the panic and sadness in your gut. You breathed through your nose as tears streaked down the sides. You struggled to hold the smile, your grin twitching down into a frown.  The emotional correctness zapped you breaking your sob. “It’s not fucking fair!!!”_

 

            “It’s not fair!” You’re holding Diego down on the couch. He’s grabbing hold of your wrist trying to get you off of him.

 

            “Kevin. Please.” He sounds afraid, “Kevin. It’s me. It’s Carlos.”

 

            “Liar!” You shout.

 

            “Carlos!” Cecil yells and grabs you by your waist pulling you off of him. His arms hold you secure. You kick your legs, growling.

 

            “It’s not fair! It’s not fair!” You scream, “Why me?!” Diego looks between you and Cecil. “Why… what did I ever do to you…” You whimper your kicking coming to a stop. “I don’t like it here… I want to go home… I want to go home…”

 

            “Kevin,” Cecil’s voice is calm and collected despite the situation, “I think you’re just tired.”

 

            “I’m tired,” You reply with a weak nod.

 

            “Your knees aren’t able to hold you up. You’re that tired…” Cecil slowly loosens his grip on you.

 

            “I’m really tired…” You slowly slip onto your knees. You feel heavy and tired.

 

            “Are you okay?” Cecil rushes over to Carlos.

 

            “I’m alright. He didn’t hurt me… mostly surprised me.” Carlos is breathing heavy.

 

            “What was that?” Cecil asks him. You wrap your arms around yourself, your head nodding forward.

 

            “I honestly cannot confirm that for you.” Carlos shakes his head, “I really wish I could.”

 

            “Well… he certain got upset,” Cecil stands a little in front of Carlos, “He’ll be asleep soon. But he can’t move.”

 

            “Maybe it’s a side effect? I don’t know what the collar did besides electrocute him. Maybe there was something else to it. I should’ve looked more into it.”

 

            “Maybe he’s expressing grief?” Cecil offered.

 

            “Maybe…” Carlos scratches his chin, “Thank you for coming to help me.”

 

“Of course.” Cecil plants a kiss on Carlos’ lips, “Anything for you.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Where do you think you’re going Kevin,” Cecil stands in the doorway as you pace back and forth across your bedroom.

 

“I don’t know!” You growl at him, “Away! Back to the Bluffs. Maybe I can find my old house and-“ You tug your hair out of frustration.

 

“And?” Cecil watches you with predatory gaze.

 

“And I don’t know! And, and!” You snap at him.

 

“He’s not mad at you,” Cecil leans against the wall, “If anything he’s concerned.”

 

“This isn’t about Carlos!” You shout, “This is about me!”

 

Cecil rolls his eyes, “What do you expect to find there Kevin?”

 

“I…” You swallow, “I don’t know…”

 

“Your old life isn’t there for you anymore.” Cecil’s words hurt more than you think he meant them too. You stare at him for a moment. “Come on Kevin. Let’s go downstairs…” Cecil gestures for you to step out of the door.

 

“I can’t,” You shake your head, “I need to be punished.”

 

“No,” Cecil fires back quickly, “No you don’t.” 

 

You stop, your feet rocking back and forth as you try to process what he said. “Y…Yes… I do…” You pace in a small circle, “I could’ve killed him.”

 

“You didn’t though,” Cecil sighs deeply, clearly bored with the argument.

 

“You can’t make me not leave,” You glare, daring Cecil with your eyes.

 

He of course takes the bait, “You’re not the only person with problems Kevin.” You open your mouth to protest against him. “And if you say that yours are worse, may you find peace in the afterlife.”

 

 “I highly doubt you’ve had to deal with the things I have.” You snap at Cecil again.

 

“No! But that doesn’t mean that other people besides you don’t have problems either!” Cecil’s hands are balled up into fists, “And if you would bother to take off these stupid horse blinders you have on and see that other people are suffering too maybe you wouldn’t be so-so-“ His eyes are shut tightly and his hands are literally shaking.

 

“Wouldn’t be so what Cecil, dearest?” You say as sickeningly sweetly as you can manage.

 

“Selfish Kevin! You’re selfish!” He snaps and a light bulb shatters. You squeak and dart away from it. Cecil’s breathing is heavy. He starts taking slow breaths in and exhaling them. “I’m not saying that your problems aren’t valid. They are 100%. But you find ways to make everything, and I mean everything Kevin about you. And you claiming to be sick is not an excuse.”

 

“I’m sorry,” You reply.

 

“Don’t say it, if you don’t mean it Kevin,” Cecil shakes his head at you. You don’t know how to respond to Cecil and frantically look around the room.

 

“Do you really want to go,” He says lips tight.

 

“I… no… I just… I don’t want to be inside… I don’t want to hurt anyone,” You say barely above a whisper.

 

“Alright. Get dressed then,” Cecil walks out of the doorway.

 

“What?” You peak your head out after him.

 

“Don’t forget sunglasses, and look nice please,” Cecil enters his room.

 

“Cecil? Where are we going?”


	9. 9

“Good evening Yessnya.” Cecil says as he walks through the front door of the NVCR. He tugs you along behind him. You stay as close as you possibly can to Cecil. The intern stares at Cecil, and then you with utter confusion.

 

“Who is that?” She finally speaks up.

 

“Oh! This?” Cecil laughs and puts his hands on your shoulders, “Ah… this is…” He turns so you face him, “This is my… cousin…”

 

“Really because he looks a lot like Kevi-“

 

“Oh! No!” Cecil says in mock disgust, “Obviously not. This is just my… ruffian! Younger cousin… Keeee…Kenny! My younger cousin Kenny. He’s a real trouble maker right Kenny?” Cecil says in your ear.

 

“Huh? Oh yes! I am the absolute worst. Ever.” You grin nervously, “I love to… just make lots of trouble.”

 

Yessnya looks between the two of you.

 

“Well. Okay then,” She shrugs and hands Cecil a folder, “Just in case you need them. But knowing you, you probably won’t.”

 

“Thank you Intern Yessnya.” Cecil says and opens the door to his booth. He turns to you, handing you the folder, “Go put these somewhere she won’t find them. The fridge is usually a great spot.”

 

“Alright and then? That doesn’t sound like a very difficult task.” You thumb over the folder.

 

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out.” Cecil waves you off, “Now, hurry away. I have to do my show.”

 

 You leave his booth and head into the break room. You look around and spot a small fridge in the corner. You slide the folder under the fridge and stand up beginning to walk away. The folder slides across the floor and hits your foot. You turn around quickly. The fridge’s constant hum becomes varied as it chuckles at you.

 

“Are you serious?” You growl and shove the folder under it roughly. The fridge’s door opens quickly hitting you in the face. “Son of a!” You grab your nose. The fridge’s varied humming grows faster. You sit back on your butt and glare at it. The fridges hum becomes constant again and you release a breath. The folder comes flying out from under the fridge.

 

You snatch it up off the ground, “I don’t need this. I’ll find another way.” You walk to the bathroom and open a stall. You take the pages out of the folder and crumple them one by one sending them down the toilet.

 

“Adios traffic report,” You say as you drop the page in. Khoshekh meows from his spot at you. You turn around holding the rest of the folder under your arm and cross over to him scratching under his chin. He purrs contently. “I guess you actually do like me then huh?” You smile.

 

“I actually have a bit of big personal news for you all. As you all know Carlos and I have recently chosen to take in a roommate.” Cecil’s voice filters into the bathroom. You step out to listen to him more closely.

 

“And it’s been interesting for us to all learn how to get along with one another but…I think we’ll manage. Things have certainly gotten a lot more interesting since his arrival at least. In fact, I brought him in with me today, and he is doing an _awful_ job of trying to reason with the mini fridge. Which is to be expected from someone who has never had to deal with it before. But that’s the fun part, there are so many things Carlos and myself don’t know, but he does, and vice versa. When it boils down to the heart of the matter, I think that can explain a lot of what life is. Learning and moving on from past mistakes and failures, and I’m glad we get to experience this with him.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

            “Carlos we’re home,” Cecil walks into the house, “I took Kevin with me.”

 

            “I heard,” Carlos looks tired as he walks over and kisses Cecil. You divert your eyes the growing pit of awkwardness only increasing as they stay in one another’s embrace.

 

            “You’re lovely,” Carlos whispers to Cecil and kisses his cheek.

 

            Cecil beams at him, “And you’re perfect.”

 

            “Not even,” Carlos chuckles and pecks Cecil’s nose.

 

            “I’m going to leave before this gets... icky…” You say and go to scoot past the two.

 

            “Not so fast,” Carlos breaks his embrace from Cecil to pick you up.

 

            You squeak, “Carlos put me down!!!”

 

            “Nah,” Cecil says and ruffles your hair. You hiss at him. “What an angry kitty cat.” Cecil laughs.

 

            “I’m not a baby,” Your feet hang off the ground about six inches, Carlos’s arm wrapped around your waist.

 

            “I don’t know. You sure whine enough to convince me,” Cecil teases and kisses your nose, “Little baby Kevin.”

 

Your face turns gold and your hands ball up into tight fists, “What’s going on…”

 

“Nothing,” Carlos’ nose is pressed in your hair.

 

“Why are you being so nice…” You feel caution creep in.

 

            “No reason,” Carlos’ voice makes you positive that there is a reason.

 

            “Put me down,” You squirm as panic set in, “Please!” Carlos’ arms release you almost immediately.

 

            “Kevin it’s alright,” Cecil says with a little frown, “We didn’t mean to scare you.”

 

            “Why would you do that?” You say nervously, “Why were you being so nice.”

 

            “Because we care about you Kevin,” Cecil frowns, “We wanted you to feel included…”

 

            “In what?” You tense up.

 

            “Us,” Carlos says with a frown as well.

 

            “Maybe we went about it the wrong way…” Cecil whispers to Carlos.

 

            “Maybe…” Carlos agrees, “We didn’t think this through.”

 

            “I know,” Cecil turns to Carlos, “and we’re usually so good about things like this…” Carlos nods in agreement.

 

            “But I mean, if Kevin doesn’t want to cuddle with us on the couch that’s his choice,” Carlos glances at you.

 

            “Exactly, we have to respect his boundaries.” Cecil does the same as Carlos, his smile coyer.

 

            “No.” You say and walk toward them, “I… no… I want to cuddle…”

 

            “Are you sure Kevin?” Cecil teases.

 

            “Yes,” you look between the two of them.

 

            “Well then,” Carlos reaches down and picks you up again.

 

            “Carlos!” You shout as he flops you down on the couch. Cecil sits at your feet, and Carlos at your head. You straighten up and they form a sort of sandwich around you. Cecil’s head rests on your shoulder and his hand reaches around to pet Carlos’ hair.

 

            You nestle into the back of the couch enjoying the warmth of the two on either side of you. Carlos looks over at Cecil with love in your eyes you’re unfamiliar with. You head turns to Cecil and he looks just the same. It feels so nice and genuine you can’t help but smile yourself.

 

            ‘I love you,’ Cecil mouths at Carlos.

            ‘I love you too,’ Carlos mouths back.

 

 

* * *

 

            You twitch awake off the couch. Cecil is still next to you, as is Carlos. You push your way out from between the two of them and walk to the kitchen. The coffee maker is up and at work. You look back into the living room. Cecil is contently snoozing away, and Carlos snores loudly. You look in with caution and cross the room.

 

            “Good morning Kevin,” A voice says in your ear. You turn around quickly to find nothing. “It’s nice to see you safe,” It whispers in your other.

 

            You turn in a quick circle surveying the area, “Is this… Nightvale weirdness… or another hallucination.”

 

            “I am very much real Kevin,” The voice sounds offended just above you, “And I’m a little disappointed you don’t remember me.”

 

            You look up quickly, “I’m a little scared I don’t remember you….”

 

            “You told me I had a beautiful face, and then left very abruptly.” She says, “During our mayoral debate.”

 

            You try to think back, little bits of memory laced behind, “you have… hazel eyes.”

 

            “So you seem to claim,” She says with a certain malice.

 

            “I’m sorry, I don’t really remember much,” You smile nervously.

 

            A cup rattles on the counter. You turn to face it. “I know.” She says.

 

            “Ah… thank you for starting the coffee though!” You offer, “If you secretly live in this home then… I expect we’ll see more of each other?”

 

            “I live in all homes Kevin,” She huffs, “But yes. I do hope to see more of you.”

 

            “Excellent then!” You clap your hands together, “Miss…”

 

            “Victoria… you may call me Victoria…”

 

            “Victoria then,” You smile at open air.

 

            Cecil walks into the kitchen and rubs his eye, “Kevin who are you talking to.”

 

            “No one,” You say with a shake of your head. 

 

            “Okay then,” Cecil says and points at the coffee maker, “you made some?”

 

            “Uh… some definitely got made.”  You reach back and pick up your cup to pour some but find it’s already full. You sip it with a smirk.

 

* * *

 

 

            “Cecil can you help me! I can’t reach the rest of your clothes!” You holler from the closet, your body stretching as much as you can manage. Cecil walks in and snorts. “Oh shut up,” you fire at him.

 

            “Here,” Cecil walks into the closet where you are and reaches up taking the box off the shelf. He hands it to you and you pull the top off of the box. Cecil’s folded boy scout uniform rests on the top.

 

            “You can keep this one,” You hold the box out to him, “I know where that uniforms been.”

 

            “How…Carlos,” Cecil’s face flushes lavender and silver and he puts a hand over his mouth.

 

            “Embarrassed Cecil?” You stick your tongue out at him,

 

            “What do you know,” He uses his radio host voice on you.

 

            “I know lots of things,” You smile toothily, “Way more than you’d probably expect me too.”

 

            “Oh yeah?” Cecil says, “Well I’m sure Carlos knows lots of thing about you.”

 

            “Nope,” You giggle and rock on your heels.

 

            “Then I’m sure I can find out!” Cecil shouts playfully and dashes at you. You duck out of the way and run toward the closet door. It slams closed in your face and the two of you backpedal quickly away from it.

 

            “Well that’s not good,” Cecil says and takes hold of the door knob only for him to pass through it as if he was incorporeal. “Yeah that’s definitely not good… Carlos!”

 

            “Carlos!!!” You shout with him the two of you yelling as loud as you can manage from the closet.

 

            Cecil sits on the ground, “It’s no use. We’ll just have to wait until someone figures out we’re stuck in here.” He pats the ground next to him and you sit cross legged by his side.

 

            “I don’t like the dark…” You say into the nearly pitch black room.

 

            “Here,” Cecil holds his arm out to you, his tattoos glowing a soft welcoming purple. You don’t hesitate to grab it in your arms, hugging it to your chest.

 

            “Thank you Cecil,” You press your face against it.

 

            “Do you… want to talk about it now then?” Cecil sighs, “Since no one can hear us? And the collar is gone?”

 

            “You sure you want to run the risk of someone else, someone who isn’t fond of you, coming out?” You still hold to his arm like a security blanket.

 

            “I trust you Kevin,” Cecil says and drags his hands through your hair. You purr contently. “Besides you’re what two feet tall? Are you going to bite my ankles?”

 

            You stop mid purr, “That was rude.”

 

            Cecil laughs, “I’m sorry. I had to take the opportunity, but go ahead.”

 

            “A lot of it is spotty…” you confess, “I was dating Diego. Who told me he was an accountant, but that wasn’t true a found out when Strex bought my studio and he shot me…”

 

* * *

 

 

            “And then Carlos found me in the desert other world…” You finish and look up at Cecil. His fingers still running through your hair.

 

            “I’m sorry that happened to you Kevin,” Cecil looks down at you with his soft lavender eyes, which stand out brightly in the dark of the room.

 

            “It’s alright. I’m trying to forget…” You smile at Cecil. He reclaims his arm and strokes his thumb softly over your cheek. Your breath catches in your throat.

 

            “It’s alright,” He coos to reassure you, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

 

            “Do you promise?” You respond with shaking hands.

 

            Cecil nods, “I promise Kevin. I won’t hurt you.” He leans forward touching noses with you. You nuzzle against him softly. His touch is gentle and accepting, not unlike what you experienced from Carlos. “I’ll never hurt you Kevin.”

 

            You start shaking and crying. A small whimper escaping past your lips.

 

            “Kevin? Are you okay?” Cecil says tilting your chin up to look at him.

 

            “I’m just really overwhelmed and happy,” You laugh stupidly through the tears.

 

            Cecil’s distress breaks and he kisses you sweetly. You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him back. Cecil breaks the kiss and looks at you, “I thought you were still mad at me?”

 

            “Not anymore,” You shake your head and kiss him again, “Never again.”

 

            The door creaks open and Carlos stands above the two of you in the line of the closet’s light. “You know,” He taunts, “I would love to point out the irony in this situation both with the closet locking you both in, and the state you’re in; but I’m actually just really glad that you two didn’t kill each other.”

 

 

* * *

 

            Carlos snores, and Cecil is a blanket hog, but the space between the two of their bodies is oddly welcoming. You aren’t sure how you managed to get the middle, you’d have to argue it’s the best spot.

 

Cecil and Carlos hold hand’s in their sleep and it makes you smile. You’d be lying if you didn’t think they were made for one another. You felt so honored that the two of them were so affectionate to you.

Carlos’ face is pressed against the back of your head, so his snoring is quite possibly the loudest thing in the room for you. But if his snoring wasn’t there the butterflies in your stomach probably would’ve kept you awake anyways.

 

Cecil is facing you, your noses nearly touching. He hums in his sleep and you find it kind of endearing. You can see the dark circles under his eyes this close. His body was be teetering on the edge of exhausting all the time, you think. Your half covered by the blankets he’s stolen off of Carlos. You burrow closer to Cecil enjoying the heat.


	10. 10

You stick your tongue out at Cecil as he walks out of the shower. You sit on the edge of the bed, an amused smile on your face. Your feet kicking back and forth. “Well, someone’s enjoying his Wednesday.” You taunt.

 

            Cecil glares at you playfully and pulls on his boxers and slacks, “A morning shower is a luxury I wish you would partake in more often.”

 

            “I will be hot and sweaty in the morning for one reason only and a shower is not it,” You click finger guns at him.

 

            Cecil shakes his head at you and looks around the bathroom then out of the door. “Kevin, where is my poncho?”

 

            “What poncho?” You grin toothily. Cecil walks over and puts you over his shoulder. You shout, “Cecil! This is too high!”

 

            “I’ll drop you,” Cecil released you and you drop maybe an inch before he catches you again.

 

            “I put it under the bed! Oh my gods!” You laugh uncontrollably, “You just went full shake down on me, do you want my lunch money too?”

 

            Cecil crouches under the bed and pulls out the watermelon patterned poncho, “No. I want your lunch.” He kisses your chin, “I’ll see you after work did Carlos leave yet?”

 

            “No. He’s in the home lab, messing with some bio samples he found on the mail box.” You stand up, “And I have business to attend to as usual.”

 

            “Oh yes? So you’ll be sleeping on the couch and…?” Cecil taunts you.

 

            “Waiting for that,” You point to the lab. Cecil pauses and listens for a moment. Carlos’ lab door can be heard swinging open and slamming shut.

 

            “It’s nothing!” Carlos shouts up the stairs, “Don’t worry! Everything’s under control!”

 

            “Regardless Kevin,” Cecil makes final adjustments to his appearance, “You should… try to do something new.”

 

            “Ah yes something new, maybe I can get to void to eat me? Or the hooded figures to kidnap me? Or! Or! Hear me out on this one, I get lynched by a mob of frightened Nightvale citizens? That would be splendid right?” You can hear the sarcastic tone heavy in your voice.  

 

            “Hang around with Carlos. I’m sure he’d appreciate you helping him with science.” Cecil straightens out the poncho with a nod of his head.

 

            “He’s a cryptozoologist, so I don’t think that even counts as science, and I’m good at radio hosting,” You mutter bitterly, “Can’t you at least try to discuss something with satiation management?”

 

            Cecil crouches down in front of you so he’s eye level with you, “It wouldn’t do any good, Kevin. Maybe… we’ll just have to wait out the interns, okay? But everything in Nightvale is very tradition based.”

 

            “Alright…” You pout at the ground. Your arms crossed over your chest.

 

            “Hey,” Cecil kisses you sweetly, “I love you and I’ll see you two after work. We can get froyo.”

 

            “You know my weakness,” You smile at him. He winks before heading down the stairs.

 

* * *

 

 

            “Carlos doesn’t mind me staying home, but I honestly think it’s starting to bother Cecil you know? It’s kind of funny that I’m getting in trouble for being lazy, when I was so productive before.” You sit on the counter.

 

            “Well maybe, you could start to ask around town for help?” A painting is turned upside down, “You know I think it looks better like that.”

 

            “Ditto. I could go back to the Bluffs and see what’s there?” You offer as you pull your legs up to your chest, “I just don’t know if it would be a good idea. You know. There are probably things there…”

 

            “Have you asked Cecil if Earl’s hiring?” Victoria turns on the gas to the stove.

 

            “Who?” You hop off the counter and turn it off.

 

            “Earl Harlan?” You can feel her smile. “Cecil’s ex-boyfriend? And childhood best friend?”

 

            “Whoa, whoa what?” You turn in the direction you assumed she was in, “Oh. I need this tea spill it. All of it.”

 

            “I really shouldn’t,” She sounds amused. You’re bouncing with excitement. “Well…” She chuckles, “Earl and Cecil were in boy scouts together, Earl used to be a scout master, he runs a restaurant now. He and Cecil they had a… relationship.”

 

            “No way,” You giggle giddily, “Oh, how come I’ve never met him before! I would think Cecil would talk about him often. Maybe not to Carlos, but to me at least.”

 

            “Because Cecil and Earl broke up a week before Carlos came into town,” Victoria sets a small recently emptied tea cup down next to you, “And Earl never really got over it. They had a small fling while Carlos was trapped in the desert otherworld. But nothing serious.”

 

            “Oh my gods,” Your smile is hurting your cheeks and you have to force it down again, “Why would I go to him though? If anything it sounds like he wouldn’t like me? Or be resentful towards my…role in our relationship?”

 

            “Well yes he obviously would, but you have two things going for you,” Victoria’s long finger nails run along your back and your body tenses at the sensation as she leans in to whisper in your ear, “Earl doesn’t know about the three of you, and your similarities to Cecil.”

 

            “We’ve been over this, I look nothing like Cecil!” You squirm as she removes her finger nails.

 

            “Earl doesn’t see like you or I,” Victoria explains calmly, “He’s not blind, but he does have trans dimensional sight. That’s what attracted Cecil to him in the first place. You’ll find Cecil likes…”

 

            “Unique things?” You smirk and raise a brow.

 

            “Yes exactly, your energy signals and Cecil’s are extremely similar. Only someone who knew both of you very well could tell the difference.”

 

            “Are you telling me to pretend to be my boyfriend, Victoria?”

 

            “No, I’m telling you to flirt with Earl Harlan as yourself.”

 

            “And you think that will… work?”

 

            “Oh trust me. Earl pulled himself out of an alternate reality once when he was twelve because Cecil didn’t exist there. It’ll work.”

 

* * *

 

 

            Tourniquet is a unique building. It actually looks more like a hospital than anything else. With tall blank white walls and one heavy metal door as entrance. You approach it with caution in your step. Your hands trapped tightly at your sides as dread stirs in your chest cavity.

 

            You pull the metal door open and are immediately surrounded by a rush of people. Some sit at tables and chat to one another in the dim lighting, others huddle around the waiting room, a listless glaze in their eyes. You scoot away from them and almost don’t notice to man standing behind you.

 

            “Cecil Palmer!” Earl smiles at you, he looks human enough, but his eyes are foggy, the green irises barely peeking out from beneath a milky white film. He wipes his hands on his coat, leaving inhuman blood stains along the breasts. “I didn’t think you were going to come visit me again, at least not without Carlos the Scientist.”

 

            “Hello Earl,” You hate the politeness in your voice, “I’m not Cecil actually, so I don’t know when he’ll be by again. I’m Kevin, actually.”

 

            Earl squints at you, his face leaning close to your own. “You mean, Desert Bluffs Kevin? The one who tried to take over our town with Strex Corp? The one who assaulted Cecil Palmer?”

 

            “Nope, not me,” You shake your head at him. It’s not a lie, but it’s not the truth either. “I’m another Kevin. I just woke up in Nightvale one day without a job and a life set out for me already.”

 

            Earl leans back hands in his pockets, “Yeah, I know how that is.” He blows some of his wavy red hair out of his face, “Well, tell you what, Not Kevin from Desert Bluffs. Let me get you a table.” He smiles at you and rubs the back of his neck pensively.

 

You try to mask the snort that comes out of your mouth, “I’d actually rather have something else.”

 

“Oh?” Earl chuckles, “What’s that?” You internally cringe. He’s so confident in himself he has no clue. You’ll have to tell Victoria later.

 

“A job,” You state as quickly as you can to try to break the awkward air, “Nothing social, I could take your garbage to the sand wastes… or be a fill in if anyone is…lost…”

 

“A job…?” Earl looks over his shoulder toward the kitchen, “Ah…that’s not exactly… how it works…uhm… hold on let me check on something.” Earl hurriedly walks into the kitchen.

 

A hand grabs your arm and you turn to it quickly, she shakes while her eyes scan your face frantically. You recognize her instantly, “Ava.” Your breath is barely above a whisper.

 

“Where…where’s Diego,” Ava’s lip quivers, “Where’s Vanessa…” she swallows, but you don’t know what. “I can’t find anyone.” Her voice cracks, “I’ve been waiting for so long Kevin. I’ve been looking for you. I can’t find anyone else Kevin, they said you were dead.”

 

“I…” You shake your head at her and take her hand off of you, “I don’t know any of those people.” Your heart rate increases and you can feel the other you pounding in your head, wailing for release.

 

“Kevin,” Ava latches onto you again and you push her away from you quickly. The force sending you stumbling into Earl Harlan’s chest.

 

“Woah, hey are you okay?” Earl says and stares at Ava who hunches up her shoulders and scoots away from him. “You’re all…red.” You shake your head and stay close to Earl.

 

“I’m fine… I’m alright,” You exhale, “I… this isn’t going to work out, actually. I need to go.” You push back through the crowd before Earl can stop you and stumble out of the building. As soon as the air hits your skin you sprint.

You run for at least half an hour before you’re forced to stop to catch your breath. The light hurts your eyes and you have to squint to orient yourself. You glance at the buildings on all sides of you and come to the stomach sinking realization that you’re lost. You pull out your phone and dial Carlos’ number.

 

Brrrrrr. Brrrrrr. Click. “Hi. This is the voicemail of Carlos Escobar. I’m busy doing science right now, but leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you.”

 

“Carlos, I’m really lost,” You sound smaller than you intend as you look around, “I can’t even hear Cecil’s show, I knew this was a stupid idea. Carlos… I think I’m in Nightvale still… I can’t… I don’t recognize anything…please come find me…” You hang up and look at the expansive streets on either side of you. You take a deep breath and start walking down the street, if you walk long enough you’ll get somewhere.

 

The sun is setting by the time houses come into view ahead of you. You exhale and sprint toward them. Your hand barely grazes the doorknob before you pull it back quickly. This is your house; well it is…was… the terracotta color with the gold trim feels more like a tomb then a home.

 

“How’d I get out to the Bluffs…” You take hold of the door knob and open it. The house is heavy with dust. You can hear the scuttle of beetles in the sink. Slowly you walk over and look at the blanket of green scarabs. You sigh, it makes you feel empty.

 

You head up your stairs. They creak under your weight; you leave foot prints in the dust where you step. Your bedroom door is slightly ajar. A cup still rests on your nightstand. You think it was tea. You open your closet and look at the rows of button up shirts and vests.

 

You shake Cecil’s oversized shirt off and shake out one of the button ups, slipping it on. You pick a matching sunshine yellow vest to pull on over it. You cross to your mirror and wipe away the dust on it examining yourself. You smile but the further up your eyes travel the sadder you get, until your staring into black voids.

 

It’s not you that you’re staring at in the mirror. Not like you remember yourself. You might be wearing his clothes but… it’s not the same person. You growl out of frustration punch the mirror, it cracks under your touch.

 

“Kevin?” A woman’s voice calls from the bottom of the stairs, “I’m Abby, Cecil’s sister. He said I could find you here. We need to go home. So come down the stairs please.”

 

You come and stand at the top of the stairs, “I’m not going back to Nightvale.”

 

“Kevin please, things are dangerous right now. Cecil wants you to be safe. We’re all going to the lab we need to get locked in.”

 

“I’m fine here,” You don’t trust her. You don’t know her.

 

“You’re just as stubborn as him that’s for sure,” Abby huffed, “Fine. Stay here.” You hear her walk away.

 

Guilt boils in your stomach. You should have gone with her. You don’t know what you want. Slowly you walk down the stairs. Janice stands in the living room.

 

“Come on,” She holds her hand out to you, “Mom doesn’t like you either, but that’s okay. I like you.” She smiles. You reach out and take her hand, and the two of you make your way to the car. Steve helps her in and puts her wheelchair in the trunk. You get in the backseat next to her. Abby glares at you from the driver’s seat and as soon as Steve gets into the passenger seat she takes off down the road.

 

“Uncle Cecil’s worried about you,” Janice says. She looks just like him. Her hairs white like his and her eyes are brilliant lavender.

 

“Don’t talk to him Janice,” Abby says as she skids around a corner.

 

Janice’s eyes flash to Abby before going back to you, “I like your eyes. They look like the void.”

 

“Thank you,” You say quietly, “Why did he send you for me? I called Carlos…”

 

“You don’t know what’s happening?” Janice says and her mouth forms into a frown, “The strangers…” She looks in disbelief.

 

“Janice! I said not to talk to him!” Abby shouts as she slams the breaks, “Steve, help me get Janice inside.” He nods and stands up. You get out of the car the towns in chaos.

 

“Kevin!” Cecil runs towards you and feathers his fingers through your hair. “You disappeared. I was worried…”

 

“No…I…” You shake your head at him, “I didn’t… I was only gone a day…”

 

“No you weren’t… we can discuss this later. Get inside.” Cecil pushes you in and things are just as chaotic inside. People bustling about all around you. Carlos doesn’t look up from his work his eyes trained on a paper pinned to his desk.

 

Abby and Janice come in behind you. “Come on, Kevin,” Janice says and holds your hand. Steve is the last to come inside closing the door. You turn quickly bewildered and confused.

 

“Where’s Cecil?” You pull your hands into fists, “Why isn’t he here?”

 

“Don’t worry, Uncle Cecil will be okay,” Janice’s voice is comforting and soft. You glance at the door nervously.

 

“I should help him.”

 

“It’s his town,” Abby says with a sigh, “He can handle it.” She parks Janice against the wall and sits next to her on the ground. You slowly sit against the wall and pull your legs to your chest.

 

“So, uh…” Steve walks over to you, “You and Cecil are pretty chummy huh?”

 

“Leave him alone Steve,” Carlos says while still scanning over his work, “Unless you want to lose a piece of your finger.”

 

Steve takes a step back from you and sits next to Abby. The only noises that fill the room are Cecil’s newscast and the clinking of scientific tubes hitting one another.


	11. 11

“Carlos,” You sigh staring at him tug at his hair in frustration, “Carlos, you aren’t doing anything to help the situation…”

 

“Well I’m trying to!” Carlos shouts not at you, but none the less shouts. At the situation. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he flips it out, “Hi.” He’s exhaling through his nose. “I’m not far along at all…yes I’m angry Cecil. This is frustrating me, I’m sorry.” 

 

“No, I’ve been letting brightly colored liquids boil in beakers, and writing numbers ALL OVER these chalk boards.” Carlos made a grand swooping motion with his arm at the chalk boards, “I even drew a structural figure for cyclohexane, and that didn’t help anything.”

 

 He leaned against the wall, “It’s like…this is somehow a problem that can’t be solved with science, but there are no problems that can’t be solved with science! Science fixes everything, and is always on the side of good! I just…I can’t figure out what these strangers want! They don’t seem to want anything!”

 

He listened to Cecil, “Yeah, okay, I guess. I love you too.” He hung up the phone. With a deep sigh he ran his hands down his face and walked over to stand in front of you. You looked up at him. He knelt in front of you, “I’m sorry for shouting. I’m just really frustrated.” 

 

“It’s okay,” You tell him and Carlos kisses you quickly.

 

“I missed you. I didn’t think you were going to come back.” He cups your chin and strokes his thumb against your cheek, “I’ll talk to you more when this is over alright? But I need to figure this out. I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” You respond as Carlos walks away.

 

 

* * *

 

All noise dropped in the lab as Cecil entered the home of Francis Donaldson.

 

“I needed to see. I needed to report on this disaster,” Cecil’s voice carries over the radio, “Three feet into the door I looked up to see a stranger before me. Her shoulders went up and down, a deep, constant breathing. Otherwise…she did not move. At this distance I could see the pupils of her eyes, unfocused, frozen, on a point in the room several feet above my head. Her hair was greasy, and it stuck to her face. Her skin had faded into gray like a person dying, or a person carved from stone. She stood in the ruined living room, surrounded by a pattern of destruction that splashed out from her. The echo of a flurry of movement, even as she was perfectly still. I was distracted by the mess. And when I looked back, she was much closer to me. I could…I could _feel_ her breath. It was room temperature, unchanged by her body. Air in, air out, but no transformation.”

 

“Cecil get out of there…” Carlos mutters under his breath his face contorted in concern.

 

“Hello Cecil,” You say in unison with Cecil’s reporting. Carlos turns and looks back at you. You can’t control your lips.

 

“Hello? What do you want?” If you didn’t know better, you could swear he heard you through the radio.

 

“What… do I want?” You choke on your words. You don’t want to say them. “I want… nothing.”

 

Carlos turns and glares at the radio then looks back to you, “Kevin, Kitty Cat… are you okay?” Steve stares at you and Abby pulls Janice closer to her.

 

“Nothing at all?” Cecil speaks cautiously.

 

“Nothing,” Your eyes are trained ahead of you. You don’t feel like you’re in your own skin.

 

“We want…nothing at all. Everywhere there is…something. All of these things, like…this glass.” From the radio the sound of shattering glass could be heard, “One…less…thing. Soon there will be…no…things. We will take away your government. Your laws. Your infrastructure. All of your…possessions. All…of…you. What…we…want…is…no…thing.” By this point Abby has moved Janice far away from you, and Steven has moved to join her out of the way.

 

Carlos just looks fascinated by the entire ordeal and pulls a recorder out of his pocket, clicking it on and returning it to his pocket as he steps closer.

 

“But why?” Cecil asks.

 

“A ‘why’ is a thing! We destroy…whys. We…destroy explanations,” Your words are as broken as the ones Cecil echos. You sound frantic, you sound crazy. You don’t like being hijacked like this. You put your hands over your ears.

 

“Francis? What happened to you?”

 

“I was made…strange. So…strange that I became a…stranger. There is a cavern.” You can see it, it’s muggy and grey and dark. “There…is…a…cavern…Cecil. I was…taken…there. The ground…is covered…in mud. You walk…through…the mud…in…the darkness…because you think…there must be…something else…but there is…never…anything…else…for years. You walk…through…the mud.” You can feel the sliding sludge in your throat.

 

“Sometimes you feel…as though there might be…other…lost people…also…searching…through the mud. Maybe…you can even hear…the soft…swish…of them…in the black…but your hands…never meet…and you cannot…speak…out. You…are…alone. Sometimes…the mud…goes…over your head…and sometimes…it is just…a slight…damp…beneath your feet,” You try to clench your teeth together but that doesn’t help any. Carlos sits next to you slowly; his fingers lace with yours.

 

“Years…go by. You feel yourself…hollowed…out…by time. Everything…that was you…slips…away. There…is…a…great…power…that replaces…you…with…his…desires. He…is…your…leader…and…you…want…what…he…wants…and…he…wants…nothing!” Everything feels too loud. You can feel dirt under your fingernails. A voice screams in your head aimlessly digging forever. Unable to escape the mud.

 

“When did you leave the mud and come back to Nightvale?” Cecil asks Francis.

 

“LEAVE?” The illusion breaks. You can see Cecil standing just before you.

 

“Cecil! I’m…still…in…the…mud! I’m…still…in…the mud! Cecil! I’m…still…in…the…mud! I’m…still…in…the mud!!” You squeeze Carlos’ hand for comfort. He squeezes back to assure you he’s there. Cecil looks afraid. A look you’ve rarely seen on him. He runs, sprints actually out of the room. “I’m still in the mud! I’m still…in…the mud!” Finally, it stops. You put your head on Carlos’ chest.

 

“What the fuck was that!?” You exhale, “What the hell!” Carlos puts his hand on your head, holding you close to him.

 

He pulls the recorder out of his pocket and clicks it off, “It’s okay… I’ve got you.”

 

* * *

 

 

“We’re going to go help Cecil,” Carlos tells you. Abby, Steve, and Janice stand behind him. Your head is between your knees. You don’t want to look up to them. You keep your head in place. “We want you to help too.”

 

“I don’t belong in Nightvale.” You say from your position, “If I go, I’ll be in danger. More than I am here. I’ll stay here.”  

 

Carlos takes off his lab coat, but puts the recorder in his jeans, “Here.” You take the coat from him with gentle hands and hug it to you. “We’ll… be back… okay?”

 

“Yeah,” You don’t fully believe him, “I’ll see you later.” Carlos kisses your forehead and leaves the room.

 

As he, the scientists, and Cecil’s family leave the silence returns.

 

But it’s too quiet. Your head is empty and macabrely silent. “Hello…” You ask other you but no sound comes out. No one speaks to you. “Kevin…” you call to you, other you. But deep down you know, he’s not there anymore.

 

“Kevin…” you call one more time in a desperate attempt. Still no response. A realization dawns on you. “Oh no…” You breathe and rush out of the lab as fast as your feet will carry you. Hymns and chanting carry through Nightvale’s air. The swirling of angels above you sends free into your heart.

 

“Oh god, oh no,” You run towards it, towards the dog park, as the weather blasts from all directions around you, loud and deafening. Your eyes look up to meet a pair of void black ones. His smile is twice as wide as your own, and even more malicious.

 

“K-Kevin… how…” You voice shakes.

 

“You look scared friend,” He giggles, “Though, I can see why anyone would be. It’s not often you get to see your double in the flesh right? Well, now I’m flesh at least. Thank you for that. Or… maybe thank Ava? You were so frightened by being confronted with an image of your past, that you forcibly ejected me from your body and gave me life.” He smiles, “So… I guess in a sense that makes you like my parent? It’s much better for us this way anyway. As you know. There can only be one of us. And I wasn’t content on letting that be you.” His smile drops and he dives at you.

 

You jump out of the way. Your double hits the ground skidding, his arms scarping on the asphalt pavement. You start running. The sky lights up a brilliant white and you can hear cheers from the dog park. You turn around to see if your double is chasing you, but he’s gone. No trace of him anywhere.

 

“I need to go home…” You whisper and walk along the sidewalk. Your eyes making sure that you know the direction you’re walking in. A car pulls up next to you.

 

“Need a lift?” Earl Harlan throws open his passenger side door. “It’s really intense at the dog park right now. So Roger and I are getting out of there. So you want a lift home?”

 

“You’d take me home after that scene I caused?” You fold your arms across your chest.

 

“Of course, you’re rooming at Cecil’s place right?” Earl smiles, “Hop in.”

 

You sit in the passenger’s seat and close the door behind you. Roger stars at you from the back seat. His skin is completely white. His eyes are dark black empty pits. Grey freckles stick on his cheeks. His expression is unreadable, but you’d put it somewhere between scorn and exhaustion if you had to.

 

“So how’d you swing a set up with Cecil and Carlos the scientist?” Earl smiles while he heads toward your house.

 

“I didn’t,” You look out the window away from him, “I don’t have a choice.”

 

“Oh,” You can hear Earl backpedaling on his words, “That’s… unfortunate.”

 

“Who took your eyes,” Roger asks, voice monotone.

 

“Roger! That’s rude. You can’t just ask people things like that.” Earl’s expression is priceless. You’re really starting to like these Nightvale kids.

 

“No one took them, they’re just different,” You tell him. Roger nods at you.

 

“Did it hurt?” He asks you.

 

“Yeah, did yours hurt?” You ask back to Roger. He touches under his eye and nods at you. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Me too.” He replies and sits back into his seat. You can see the tiniest smile on his lips.

 

Earl looks oddly pleased as he pulls up to the house you share with your boyfriends. “Well we’re here.”

 

“Thank you Earl.” You say as you step out of the car.

 

“Hey Kevin?” Earl calls and you turn around tilting your head at him. “You and Cecil should stop by Tourniquet sometime. I’ll get you two a seat.”

 

“Oh!” You bat your eyes at him sarcastically, “Well, I’ll be sure to tell my boyfriends about your kind offer Earl! The three of us will definitely stop by sometime.” You open the door to the house and close it behind you quickly. Your lips split into a smile and you laugh genuinely, and happily.

 

The house is empty, not even Victoria makes a sound. You lay down on the couch. The house feels different. You wonder if you actually were gone for a long time. Time is weird in Nightvale, maybe you accidently stepped through a wormhole or time pocket or something.

 

The door opens and an exhausted looking Carlos walks in. You sit up and look at him. He smiles at you and walks over to the couch, “You look cute in my lab coat.” You press your lips against his and he smiles. “Where did you go…?”

 

“The Bluffs.” You divert your eyes from him.

 

“Kevin!” Carlos looks at you with disappointment. “You know that’s not good for you. What if you had an episode.”

 

“No more episodes…” You tell Carlos with a sinking feeling in your stomach, “I can’t get them anymore… and I didn’t go there on purpose. I was looking for someplace to go, a landmark or something… and I just ended up there… but there’s no one there anymore. It’s a ghost town.”

 

“Well,” Carlos sighs, “Alright… I’m not glad that you left but I’m glad you came back. Now make room for me, Cecil’s rerecording his report for station management so he’ll be gone for a while. We can wait for him to get back.”

 

You sit up and Carlos lays on the couch. You lay in front of him spooning. He puts his arms around your waist and kisses the back of your shoulder. “I love you.” He mumbles against it.

 

“I love you too Carlos,” You smile, “Now get some sleep busy man, I know you’re tired.”

 

“This is true,” He nuzzles you, “Wake me up…” He yawns, “Wake me up when Cecil gets home.” Squeezing you like some kind of oversized teddy bear he falls asleep and soon the room is filled with his snores.

 

You can feel the recorder in his front pocket press against your back and shift uncomfortably to get away from it. It only digs in deeper and you huff with irritation. You can’t believe Carlos took the time to record that little ordeal. It wasn’t even that weird by Nightvale standards.

 

You didn’t like how it felt at all. It was like you were talking for someone else. It felt invasive and wrong. Like she was using your body for her own use. You thought once you were free from Diego that sort of thing would stop, but then she completely hijacked you no more than ten hours ago.

 

Cecil walks into the house. “It’s only me,” He calls into the house and walks to the living room peaking at the couch.

 

You look up at him, “He wanted me to wake him up when you got home, but he’s really tired, do you want to switch with me?” You ask him. Cecil shakes his head no and run his hand over Carlos’ forehead softly.  He then moves to you; his fingers are cold as ice.

 

“Did you turn on the radio?” Cecil swallows, “Did you hear what happened?”

 

“No, I heard while you were out,” You tell him. Cecil nods his eyes indicating he’s thinking hard about something. “What’s wrong…” You ask cautiously.

 

“Don’t change the station, ever, alright? I don’t know if it’s a time loop, or a robot, but I don’t want you listening to that thing.” Cecil looks at you with concern, “I wouldn’t want you listening at all, but we don’t have a choice.”

 

“Was it me,” You ask him. Cecil’s eyes widen and he nods. “He tried to attack me,” You explain, “I think I… made him on accident… the other me…I’m sorry Cecil.”

 

“Don’t be sorry Kitty Cat,” Cecil looks down at you, “Go upstairs. I’ll wake the sleepy head and then the three of us can head to bed.”

 

You nod with closed eyes at him, “Yeah. That sounds great.” You pry yourself away from Carlos and head up the stairs. Cecil doesn’t move, his eyes staring at you until you were in the room. 

 

You undress down to your boxers and pick a t shirt out of the closet pulling it on over your body, it hangs at your knees. You lay on the bed, your body on top of the covers. The whole room feel stuffy and hot, but you know that can change in a blink of the eyes.

 

Cecil and Carlos walk in. Carlos pulls the recorder out of his pocket and sets in on the nightstand with a thump.  He flops on the bed to your left. His eyes still closed. Cecil lays down to your right. There’s tension between them you can feel it. You don’t make a sound, trying to blend into the background.

 

Cecil reaches out and pulls you against his waist tightly. His lavender eyes stare daggers at Carlos. “Go to sleep Kevin,” Cecil whispers into your ear. Your eyes flick from Cecil’s stone face to Carlos’ back. The scientist doesn’t move and soon the room is full of snoring. “I’ll make sure nothing bad happens, go to sleep Kevin…”

 

“Al…alright…” You close your eyes tightly and will yourself to sleep.

 

 

A dull scratching drags its way across the floor of the room. You sit up. Cecil is still in bed and Carlos is as well. Both as asleep. The darkness of the outside suggests that it’s still night, but it’s been wrong before. You scoot your way off the bed, careful not to disturb either of your sleeping partners.

 

You cross the floor; the scratching is coming from just outside the door now. You open the door but the noise is coming from downstairs. You roll your eyes and head down the stairs chasing the scratching noise.

 

It stops when you walk into the living room. You start to search the room, confusion setting in. Movement flicks in the side of your eye and you turn to it quickly. Roger stands just outside your window. He puts an index finger to him lips and beckons you to come outside.

 

You open the door and slide out of the room, “Roger? Where’s your dad?”

 

“Follow me,” He stares at you.

 

“Kid,” You rub your temples, “I’m not wearing any pants is this really the best idea?”

 

“If we don’t go now, you won’t be able to see it,” He says with firmness, “Come on.” He holds his hand out to you. “You’ll be back before anyone wakes up.”

 

You look back at the door and take his hand, “Alright make it fast.”

 

Roger walks quickly now, his steps hurried and almost gliding over the surface of the street. He finally stops at the end of the block. He glances both ways, then behind him. “He’s not following us right?”

 

“Who?” You look behind you staring into the dark.

 

“My dad,” Roger responds, “I don’t see him lets go.” He puts his hands on the wall of the house and the two of you pass through it with ease. Inside is a small concrete room. There’s a couple notebooks open on the ground, two broken pencils, and a box of crayons. “It only opens at night.” Roger tells you, “and only for an hour.”

 

“Why’d you bring me here?” You ask Roger and look at the walls. Writing is scrawled down them, as well as pictures.

 

Roger points to a part of the wall, “This is what the stars told me about you.” He steps toward it, “They told me about what happened, they told me about Diego. And that you aren’t bad. So I told Janice, and Janice told Megan and Jr.”

 

“Wait what?” You shake your head at him, “The stars told you what?”

 

“They talk to me always” Roger says, “I come here to write it down. Something bad is going to happen in Nightvale, very soon. We can all feel it, all the kids can. Some of the adults too, I’m sure, but they won’t admit it. And when it happens Kevin, you need to hide.” Roger stares at you, “This town, us kids, we need you. But no adults can know why. So I can’t tell you. But when the bad thing happens, I’ll help you hide in here.”

 

“You kids make it sound like I belong to some prophecy or something,” You joke with Roger. He doesn’t respond with laughter, instead staring at you with his empty eyes.

 

“It’s not a prophecy.” He looks to the wall, “They just talk about you a lot. And about what you can do that the others can’t. You’re different from them.”

 

“How?” You say with growing irritation.

 

“I can’t tell you, because it can hurt them.” Roger nods his head as he speaks, “We need to go now. My dad will be catching up to us soon.” He takes you hand and pulls you out of the room and into the Nightvale air.

 

“Go home, I’ll distract him,” Roger walks down the street in the direction opposite your own. You watch him go and start walking home confusion on your face.

 

You open the front door; your eyes squint instantly as you’re hit with bright lights from the living room. “What the heck.”

 

“I told you he wasn’t gone!” Cecil snaps at Carlos, “He’s fine!”

 

“Where were you?” Carlos asks his face reads distrust, and its directed at you. You immediately don’t like it.

 

“I went for a walk,” You take a step away from Carlos, “I’m grown, I’m allowed to do that.” 

 

“Not at two in the morning. The sheriff’s secret police could’ve taken you in,” Carlos closes his eyes, “Kevin, let’s talk.”

 

“Why are you acting like this,” You hunch your shoulders, “I didn’t do anything. I just went for a walk. Cecil…” You look at him but he’s not defending you anymore.

 

“We want to know where you went and how you, got that nifty little omnipresent trick.” Carlos says, “We won’t be mad, we just don’t want you to lie to us, Kevin. If you’re working with Strex again…”

 

“Are you fucking serious!” You snap, “Why would I ever work with them! You saw what they did to me! They broke me!”

 

“Kevin,” Cecil holds up his hands in surrender, “We’re just really confused about where you went, not tonight but before.”

 

“I,” You shake your head at them, “I only went home, for less than an hour. Then Abby came and got me. I didn’t…I wasn’t with Strex…”

 

“Kevin you called me from your house, that’s how I knew to find you there,” Cecil looks at you pleadingly, “We just want to help you.”

 

“I told you everything!” You feel attacked.

 

“Alright,” Carlos shakes his head, “I’m too tired to think about this clearly right now. I’ll…we’ll talk later. I’m going back to bed.” Carlos heads up the stairs.

 

“Carlos!” Cecil chases after him up the stairs and into the bedroom.

 

You stand in the living room and fold your arms over your body. Where did you go?


	12. 12

Cecil shakes you awake the next morning. You look up at him from the couch. “Come on, let’s get breakfast.” He kisses you quickly. You sit up and rub your eyes.

 

You sit at the table and put your head down on the table. “Long night?” Cecil jokes as he pulls the carton egg whites out of the fridge.

 

“I didn’t sleep well. It was too cold,” You say your eyes half opened. He frowns as he sets a pan down on the stove and whispers a secret to the ignitor to turn on the fire.

 

“Carlos isn’t mad at you…” Cecil tries to explain, “He’s just worried… he loves you Kevin.”

 

“Alright,” You exhale and close your eyes.

 

Carlos walks into the kitchen and shakes his phone at Cecil, “Guess who.”

 

            Cecil turns to look at him. “Carlos! Did you get ticketed by the secret police again!” Cecil puts his hands on the table firmly, “I told you last time there’s no science pass!”

 

            “We’ve been over this before Cecil there totally is,” Carlos sighs, “And no that’s not what happened. My mom called.”

 

            “Oh, did you tell her I miss her?” Cecil says a lot more pacified now.  

 

            “Yes Cecil, the first thing out of her mouth was about you.” Carlos responds.

 

            “Love that woman,” Cecil whispers under his breath with a grin.

 

            “She wants me to come visit,” Carlos says, “She wants me to visit for Halloween, she has trouble walking around more and more now. And my cousins are going to be there, there’s just so many of them…”

 

            “Go visit her,” Cecil says as he plates the cooked egg whites. He slides a plate in front of you. You pick at it, putting a small bite in your mouth while your heads still on the table. Cecil flares his nostrils and gestures at you forcefully. Carlos shakes his head confused and Cecil repeats the motion with a stomp of his foot.

 

            “Kevin?” Carlos sits down and puts his chin on the table to look at you. “What’s wrong Kitty?” You turn your head away from him. Carlos runs his hand through your hair, “Kitty Cat.” He teases, “What’s wrong?”

 

            “You’re mad at me,” You whisper, “it’s my fault. I didn’t know the answer to your question. I’ll stay out of your way.”

 

            “I’m not mad Kevin,” Carlos tries to turn you to look at him but you refuse. “Kevin…Kitty…”

 

            “Can’t you just hit me or something and get it over with. You people always drag things out too long,” You snap at Carlos. Carlos’ eyes are wide with surprise. You sigh and put your head back down on the table, “I know you’re mad at me. I can feel it…”

 

            “Kevin quit it,” Cecil says from the sink, “You don’t need to blow it out of proportion.”

 

            You glare at Cecil and close your eyes slowly. “Fine. I’ll be a good third wheel and keep quiet. Pull me out of the closet when you need someone else to balance out the bed, or shield you from Carlos’ deafening snores.”

 

            “Kevin!” Cecil turns around his face exasperated, “We care about you. You’re in this relationship with us.” You whimper and burry your head in your arms. “Don’t start crying Kevin.” Cecil sounds more annoyed than anything else.

 

            “I’m frustrated Cecil! I’m going to cry!” You snarl at him. Cecil doesn’t flinch and stares you down. You try to stare back but your face wavers and you start crying again. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know… I didn’t know I’d been gone that long…I’ll be good; I won’t leave…I just, I want to sleep between you two…” You’re breathing hard as you try to catch your breath through sobs.

 

            “Come here,” Carlos says his tone shifting as he pulls you close to him, “We weren’t mad at you. It was late and we were worried about you.” He rubs your back, “I know how badly negative stimuli affects you. I should have been more careful with my tone.”

 

            You whimper and Cecil sighs and walks over to join the huddle. His nose pressed against the back of your head. “You can’t keep doing this though. Eventually we’re going to get tired of having to pick you up. We’re going to get mad at you Kevin. And I agree with Carlos, he didn’t need to turn so cold on you.”

 

            “Okay,” You whimper. Cecil kisses the back of your head and goes back to cleaning the dishes.

 

You cling to Carlos tightly. His hand rubbing up and down your back. “Hey Kevin.” He coos at you, “Do you want to go with me to my mom’s?”

 

“What?” You look up and blink away some tears.

 

“I think a little non weird time would be good for you, yeah?” Carlos says, “And you don’t do anything anyways.”

 

“Well,” Cecil cuts in now, “I could probably try to get some time off from station management. Or, maybe I could do my show from your mom’s. Mrs. Escobar does love me after all.”

 

“She only loves you because you tell her everything she wears looks hip and trendy,” Carlos teases at Cecil. Cecil gasps offended but doesn’t deny it. Carlos shakes his head and turns his attention back to you, “Yeah? We can make a trip of it.”

 

You nod at him, “Yeah okay.” You blink more tears away, “That sounds fun…”

 

 

* * *

 

            “Well this is it,” Carlos parks the car and gets out. He hands the keys to Cecil who gets out of the passenger to unlock the trunk. You get out of the backseat and stand close to the car. Carlos walks toward the house. You look back at Cecil and he waves you over to come help him.

           

            “What’s up?” Cecil asks you soft enough so no one but you two can hear. He picks up his bag and slides it onto his shoulder.

 

            “I don’t know how to talk to people who don’t know me,” You confess to Cecil, “I’m no good at it…” You pick up your bag and slide it onto your back as well, then grab Carlos’ and hold it against your chest.

 

            Cecil closes the trunk, “Just be cool. Mrs. Escobar is the best. She’ll love you.” He smiles reassuringly at you. You try to return it but your smile comes off a lot more nervous. “Here, you can hold my hand.” Cecil holds his out to you and you take it.

            “I don’t look like you guys,” You whisper, “They’re going to talk about my eyes, and my teeth… and my scars…”

 

            “Don’t worry about it Kitty Cat,” Cecil squeezes your hand tightly, “I’ll be right here with you the whole time.” He walks toward the door. Carlos is standing outside the door waiting for you too.

 

            “Is that my son-in-law!” The door swings open quickly. An elderly woman with her hair pulled back out of her face steps out of the house, glasses rest on her nose and she hugs Cecil tightly. You pull your hand out of his quickly and take a step away.

 

            “Not yet Mrs. Escobar,” Cecil laughs and shoots Carlos a glare, “But soon hopefully.”

 

            “Mijo,” Mrs. Escobar snaps at Carlos, “You need to marry this man already. You’ve made him wait long enough. You know Ricky’s already got a wife and two kids, and what are you doing waiting around?”

 

            “Mom, it’s different for me,” Carlos says with a strained smile.

 

            “No it’s not Carlito,” She says firmly, “June 26th. You can get married now. Don’t make him wait anymore.”

 

            “Mom!” Carlos shouts at her.

 

Cecil is laughing hard and shakes his head at the situation, “Mrs. Escobar, this is our-“

 

“Roommate." Carlos speaks quickly, “Kevin. He wanted to come with us.” 

 

“Roommate,” Cecil says with a tone of scorn in his voice directed at Carlos.

 

“Hola, Kevin. I’m Maria.” Mrs. Escobar turns to you holds her hand out for you to shake. You reach out and shake it.

 

“Buenos dias.” You shake her hand back, “Me llamo Kevin Rodriguez.” Her eyes light up happily and she smiles widely at you.

 

“Mucho gusto, Señor Rodriguez,” She has a playful smile on her face, “Eres mexicano?”

 

“No, yo soy cubano.” You tell her with a grin.

 

Maria laughs and turns to Carlos, “I like him. He speaks better Spanish than you Carlito.”

 

“You never taught me Spanish,” Carlos says defensively. 

 

Maria tsks and waves her hand at him, “Mentiroso, come on boys, let’s go inside.” Maria opens the door and walks in. Cecil smirks at you. You grin sarcastically back at him and follow Maria inside.

 

“Mrs. Escobar, may I just say I’m loving the earth tones in here,” Cecil says and takes her by the arm walking into the living room with her.

 

Carlos turns you toward him and you start laughing hard, “Where the hell, did you learn Spanish? How long have you known Spanish?”

 

“A long time,” You admit sheepishly, “Always actually. Don’t feel bad Carlos, I needed brownie points.”

 

Carlos shakes his head at you, “you are too much sometimes.”

 

“I love you too sexy,” You kiss him and stick out your tongue. Carlos’ face turns red as you chase after Cecil.

 

“And if you put some plants in that corner it would probably really brighten up the room I think.” Cecil tells Maria and gestures to the corner. She nods thoughtfully. “Kevin what do you think?” Cecil asks and you pause.

 

“Uhm…” You look around quickly, “P-Plants?” You repeat what you heard Cecil say.

 

Maria nods thoughtfully, “I’ll have to think about it. Thank you Cecil. Ah! How rude, you were driving for a long time, do you want something to eat?”

 

“Oh, no. I’m full no thank you, I ate before we left,” Cecil waves his hands at her in surrender, “You know Mrs. Escobar. Kevin cooks for us most of the time now, he’s really good at it.”

 

“No I’m not,” You respond quickly but it’s too late.

 

“You cook?” Maria points at you and you nod at her, your shoulders hunched. “What do you cook?”

 

“A-Anything?” You respond, you play with the bottom of your shirt in a nervous habit, “No wheat, a lot of gluten free food… rice… rice noodle spaghetti, and… I make Cecil…ah…soup and light food… when he’s sick…”

 

“Can you make enchiladas?” She asks. You nod. “Rice, real rice.” You nod again. “Beans?”

 

“Don’t you just heat them up?” You squint at the ground, off to her left.

 

Maria nods, “Do you want to help me mijo.” She taps the counter, “My hands hurt and I could use help prepping the food.”

 

“Yes, I can help,” You say quickly.

 

“Thank you.” Maria says with a grateful smile.

 

“I’m going to go help Carlos unpack. Here Kevin. Let me have your bags,” Cecil says as he takes Carlos’ bag from you. You shift your bag off of you and give it to Cecil as well. You bite your bottom lip and stare at him. “Mrs. Escobar, where should we put Kevin?” Cecil looks at you apologetically.

 

“The guest rooms fine Cecil,” She tells him with a nod.

 

Cecil mouths an ‘I’m sorry’ at you and walks out of the kitchen.

 

 

* * *

 

You stare at the rice as you brown it in the pan. You’re less than happy that you’re going to have to sleep on your own. Even more unhappy that you’re not being presented as a partner. And triple unhappy that you know Maria is going to think that you and Cecil are sleeping together with all the clothes you steal from him.

 

To be honest, you never slept with Cecil or Carlos. They’d had sex plenty of times sure. Even while you were in the bed. Usually you just rolled out of the way and kept sleeping, Cecil wasn’t that loud and neither was Carlos and you could usually drown the two of them out.

 

“It’s done browning,” You tell Maria and start opening a can of tomato sauce. Maria hands you a cup of water and you drop it into the rice pan, then throw the tomato sauce on top. You fill the can the tomato sauce was in with water to make sure you get every last drop, and pour that in as well.

 

“Did you teach yourself to cook?” Maria asks as she starts to shake spices into the sopa.

 

“Yeah, about four years ago? I think it was four years…” You tap the spoon you were using to brown the rice against the counter rhythmically.

 

“Really? Why so soon?” Maria asks curiously.

 

You swallow dryly, “Uhm… I…kinda…I had to learn… to…uh…to better myself… for-for.” Your breathing is heavy, “Is it hot in here? I feel really hot…” You set the spoon down and step away from the stove. Your back presses against the wall and you slide down it until you’re sitting on the ground.

 

“Kevin?” Maria looks frightening, “Carlos!” She shouts and he comes running in.

 

You can’t breathe. The panic starts in your stomach and spreads to your fingertips and then up to your throat. You can’t breathe at all. You can’t process anything, everything is moving too fast. You gasp for air, you can feel the judgement and close your eyes tightly, your hands cover your ears.

 

Carlos kneels in front of you. He’s talk to you but all you can hear is your blood rushing through your body and the thumping of your heart. He puts his hand on your shoulder. “No.” You whimper at him, “No. I’m fine.” You don’t want him touching you. You don’t want anyone touching you. “Stop it.” You struggle to get the words out and Carlos’ hand slips away.

 

“I ened ot gte Cecil…” Carlos tells his mother and walks out of the room. He comes back with Cecil who walks over and sits by you.

 

“Can I touch you?” He asks and you nod at him. He puts one of his arms around you and holds the other one out in front of you. “Hey Kevin, look at this.” You slowly open your eyes to look at his tattoos. “It’s going to be okay.” He shushes you softly. The markings move in front of you slightly. “You’re safe.” He whispers into your ear. You nod and bite your bottom lip as the panic starts to subside, being replaced with a new worse feeling of embarrassment.

 

“This is embarrassing,” You whisper to Cecil.

 

“We expected it,” He whispers back, “I thought Carlos would be able to handle it though.”

 

“She didn’t expect it.”

 

“She doesn’t know you yet.”

 

“I look like a psycho.”

 

“You’re sick.”

 

“No. I’m crazy.”

 

“Come on get up off the ground.” Cecil lifts you up onto your feet. Maria’s staring at you. You can’t look at her, your eyes drift to Carlos but you’re met with the same look on his face. You look at the ground and bite your bottom lip nervously.

 

“I’m sorry,” You apologize as your hands wring around the bottom of your shirt. “I don’t know what came over me… I’m sorry…”

 

“Are you okay?” Maria asks you. Her face full of concern.

 

“Yeah… I’m alright…” Your face is turning a bright gold, “I ah… it’s a Nightvale thing…”

 

“Right!” Cecil jumps in to help you out, “That’s why Carlos couldn’t do anything about it. He’s still too new to know how to handle someone in that situation.”

 

“Does it happen often…?” Maria asks Cecil.

 

He shakes his head no quickly, “Oh no, he’ll probably be fine for the rest of the trip. Right Kevin?”

 

“Yup,” You nod at her, “I just need to lay down for a second.” Cecil walks you to the guest room and you sit down on the bed.

 

You scratch at your arms frantically, “I’m dirty. I’m dirty. It’s all over me.” You mutter under your breath as you rake your nails across your skin.

 

“No,” Cecil holds your wrists and puts them at your sides, “No. Let’s talk about it. Don’t disassociate on me.”

 

“She was asking about me cooking and why I learned and,” You squeak, “How am I supposed to explain that I had to learn to keep my ex-boyfriend from breaking my arm or worse!?”

 

Cecil looks as surprised as you are that the words come out of your mouth. “Kevin, I didn’t know… That’s why you know how to cook?”

 

“If it wasn’t good, he’d get mad. He either wouldn’t talk to me all night and order take out; or hold my hand against the pot or break my hand or something like that, and make me cook it again until it was right.” You look past Cecil. You don’t want to see his face right now. You don’t want to see that pitiful look on his face. “I got good at it because I had to...” You finally glance at his expression and find its just as you expected. Disgust boils up in you. “Don’t look at me like that.”

 

Cecil exhales, “Do you want to be alone.”

 

“Yes please.”

 

“I’ll get you when we eat dinner okay?”

 

“Alright.”

 

* * *

 

 

Carlos laughs loudly outside the door to the guest room. You sit up and listen intently to his conversation.

 

“We all thought you were crazy when you told us you were a successful cryptozoologist.” A girl says with a giggle, “Who knew you were telling the truth.”

 

“You didn’t believe me when I said I was gay either.” Carlos pokes fun at the girl, “But what now?”

 

“Now, mom is sharing a Pinterest board with Cecil.”

 

“What?”

 

“It’s a wedding board.” The girl chuckles.

 

“You’re next after me Camila. So you better watch out.”

 

“Nah, I got dumped last week. So I’m not next at all.”

 

“What? Really? What happened?”

 

“He was sleeping with his coworker big surprise right?” Camila says sarcastically.

 

“I’m sorry.” Carlos’ tone is gentle, “He didn’t deserve you.”

 

“Thanks Bro.”

 

 The door opens and Carlos steps into the guest room. He closes the door behind him and turns to make sure it’s locked. “Hey Kitty Cat,” He walks over and sits on the bed next to you, “How are you? Dinner’s ready.”

 

“I didn’t mean to snap at you.” You apologize to him.

 

“You didn’t, it’s alright,” Carlos brushes back your hair and kisses your chin, “Kitty Cat.” His voice coos. You press your nose against his and purr loudly. “I’m sorry, but she can’t know… you aren’t mad are you?”

 

“Of course I’m mad,” Your forehead touches against his, your noses still close together, “I’m your boyfriend too.”

 

“I know,” He frowns, “I’m just not ready to tell her.”

 

“Carlos,” Your eyes flutter closed as you kiss him, “I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Carlos kisses you back sweetly. His hand slides over yours and you pull your hand back quickly. “I’m sorry,” He apologizes, “I got carried away.”

 

“No,” You say softly, “No it’s okay… just…be gentle okay.” You pressed your lips against his again. Your hand took ahold of Carlos’ now. Carlos kissed back, he tilted his head into the kiss, his hands rested on your hips.

 

You whimper and roll your body into him instead. “I can show you,” You whisper to him, “I can show you how good I can be. I can listen. I’ll do everything just right.”

 

Carlos stops still and take his hands away from your hips. “We should… go eat…” He gets up off the bed. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, okay?” He takes your hand and makes you stand up with him.

 

“What did I do wrong…?” Your face contorts in confusion.

 

“Nothing Kitty Cat, it’s just dinner time and people will wonder where we went.” Carlos kisses you again, once quickly, “Later, maybe Cecil and I can come here okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

* * *

 

 

Carlos has four siblings, three sisters and a brother. He’s the oldest of the bunch, then his sister Camila, brother Mario, and sisters Amor and Corazon. Which were twin sisters, and who Cecil gushed were ‘the cutest little girls to ever grace the earth, with my most adorable names to match’.

 

Camila looked like she could kill you with just her eyes. Her hair was chopped short at her ears. She looked like she’d done it herself. She wore a tank top and torn jeans. Her eyeliner was dark and her lipstick red.

 

“So,” Camila reaches out and takes a piece of bread out of the basket on the table, “Why’d you bring your roommate all the way out of Nightvale? Didn’t you have enough trouble brining Cecil out. I just don’t understand why you’d go through all the effort.”

 

“I’m not a Nightvale resident. Even if I live there. The town doesn’t know me,” You say. She turns and looks at you. “I could literally die, if it finds out I’ve been living there.”

 

“Wait, if it finds out? I thought Nightvale was a place not a person,” Mario squints. He’s seventeen years old with a crew cut. His shirt fits loosely on him and he has an aloof air about him.

 

“It’s…a place,” Cecil cuts in, “It’s just a sentient place…and it sees Kevin as a threat.”

 

“Why?” Camila asks, you can see her tense, “What’d he do?”

 

“He didn’t do anything,” Carlos cuts in before Cecil has time to say anything, “The towns confused. It’ll get used to him eventually. But it’s not worth the risk to leave him there alone.”

 

“Ey,” Mario gestures to you, “Is it normal to look like that in Nightvale? Or is that why it thinks you’re all messed up?”

 

“I just look like this. But no one in Nightvale bothers me about it anymore,” You take a bite of the food in front of you.

 

“Do your eyes really look like that?” Amor asks her eyes locked onto you, “Or is it a costume? For Halloween?” She’s 12 years old and is dressed up in a blue dress.

 

“No. They look like this,” You glance at Carlos. He looks back at you and shrugs. Cecil gestures at you with his eyes. Carlos gives Cecil a ‘what do you want me to do?’ look and returns to his food.

 

“I’m fine,” You tell them and Cecil starts eating quietly. “Apparently the entirety of Nightvale elementary already knows what happened. So, the kids aren’t the ones I’m worried about, most of them understand.”

 

Maria doesn’t say anything. Her eyes watch every move you make with great focus. She’s studying you. You can’t help but feel slightly invaded, but she has a right too.

 

“Kevin’s actually the same species and age as me,” Cecil cuts across the silence.

 

“Really?” Maria takes her eyes off you and turns them to Cecil.

 

“A lot of people said we looked identical,” Cecil laughs, “But they obviously never saw us side by side.”

 

“No I can see it,” Camila says and gestures her fork at the two of you, “your faces are really similar. His is more messed up, but I can see it, he’s like a dark version of you Cecil. If you cut your hair and gelled it up.”

 

“Oh yeah I see it too!” Mario says, “He’s like the anti-Cecil.”

 

Cecil snorts and looks at you with a half apologetic smile, “They’re kind of right. You are pretty much my opposite.”

 

“Yeah that’s why Khoshekh likes him better,” Carlos teases before putting a fork full of food in his mouth.

 

* * *

 

Dripping water wakes you up out of a deep sleep. You wipe it away quickly. “What the hell.’ You mumble in your sleep and sit up in your bed. Only… it’s not your bed, or even the bed you had fallen asleep in. The mattress sits on the floor. You look around the room frantically. It’s completely made of solid concrete. The only other object in the room is another mattress with… Cecil?

 

“Cecil!” You shout and he grumbles.  His hair is a mess, but he looks much younger than he actually is. You could place him at maybe… nineteen years old. “Cecil!” You yell.

 

He curses under his breath and turns over to look at you, his eyes fly open, “Kevin? Kevin, your eyes…” You shake your head at them. “They’re… yellow… and your eye is open… your scars… Kevin where are we?” Cecil looks around the room frantically and stands up. “I don’t like this…”

 

“I don’t either,” You respond and stand up with him. Cecil puts his hand on the concrete wall closest to him and the world fuzzes shifting to and open field. You back up quickly next to Cecil.

 

He grabs your hand, “This isn’t real… Kevin you pulled me into one of your dreams…”

 

“I didn’t mean to!” You shout and wring your hands around one another, “I don’t like this place it’s not safe…it feels bad…”

 

“There’s plenty of space to run Kevin… it can’t be that bad,” Cecil squeezes your hand tightly.

 

“No. No, there isn’t…” You can feel dread in your stomach. The ground starts to shake violently and it rips open violently, separating the ground into large chunks, spaces of the ground begin dropping out from under you. You cling to Cecil as the floor drops out from the two of you and you fall into the darkness beneath you.

 

Your head meets hard floor and you wince in pain. You look up and turn around quickly, “Cecil!” you can’t see him, everything’s dark all around you, “Cecil! Cecil!”

 

“Who are you calling for,” A soft female voice whispers into your ear and arms snake around your neck. “I’ve got you Kevin. Mommy’s got you.” She purrs and you try to pull the hands away but they’re long and too strong for you to move away. You start choking as she squeezes in on you.

 

“I’m sorry,” She weeps, “I’m doing this to protect you Kevin. I need to save you. I can’t let them hurt you. We aren’t safe anymore.” You desperately try to pry her away.

 

“Kevin!” Cecil is running toward you. The woman instantly let’s go of you and you fall onto your knees gasping for air. Cecil helps you up, “There’s a light over here. Come on let’s go.” He walks with you close to his side, his arm wrapped protectively around your waist. His eyes scanning. “Kevin… think of good things…”

 

“What?” You’re scared out of your mind, “I can’t…I’m scared Cecil. It’s dark I don’t like this. I don’t like the dark.” You shut your eyes and when they open you’re standing in piles of viscera. Your hands tremble as the door opens and a frightened scientist steps in. You swallow and push back against the wall away from him. He starts screaming and his organs fall out of his mouth splattering on the ground in front of you.

 

His skin peels away from his face and his eyes roll into the back of his head. His white coat turns red and he just keeps screaming until he’s nothing but a pile of goo on the floor, with bones mixed in. You wail and cover your eyes. Your nails dig into your arms and you shake your head, you want to wake up but it all feels too real. It’s all moving too fast.

 

Your eyes travel to the door and see its still open. You run out of it as fast as you can go. Your body connects with another. A face you haven’t seen in a long time. Vanessa makes eye contact with you. “Kevin? Where are you going Kevin?” As she talks blood fills her mouth. You run past her, “Kevin? Kevin!? KEVIN!?” She screams and starts laughing and screaming as she fades away into the background, “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!”

 

You spin in the hallway, your heart pounds in your ears. You try to ground yourself. You can hear Cecil’s voice muffled down a hall and you head in that direction. You open door after door down the hallway, the further you go the more decrepit your surroundings become. You finally reach a dead end and look into the room.

 

 Cecil is strapped to a bed, but he’s even younger than before. He looks physically twelve to fourteen years old. His hands bound at his sides. “I won’t say anything I promise. I won’t tell. I won’t tell anyone. Please, just let me go.” He begs and pulls at his restraints, “I won’t disobey you please! Just let me go home!!! Please!!! I just want to see them again…”

 

You push against the door as Cecil’s voice turns into screams. You bang at it. “I’m coming! I’ll help!!” You hit the door and it turns into wood chips as your shoulder meets it. Cecil sits up off the bed, back to how he first looked when he woke up in your dream. “Are you okay?”

 

He looks shaken but he nods yes. Your run your hands over the walls and Cecil joins your search. A door slams behind you and the two of you turn back to stare at the wood door with the golden frame. You reach a hand out to it slowly, Cecil grabs your hand before you can reach it, “You don’t have to Kevin. We can stay here.”

 

“I have to,” You tell Cecil and push the door open. Red blood spills out of the door in a flood and coats your feet up to your ankles. You wade through it and step into the house.

 

“Kevin…” Diego sits on a chair in the middle of the room.

 

“Hello.” You tell him and Cecil grabs your shoulders holding you still.

 

“You look scared Kevin,” Diego frowns, his eyes are completely black and his smile is cut into a wide smile.

 

“I am.” You tell him, “But that’s okay.”

 

“Come here Kevin,” He coos at you, “Come here and let me love you.”

 

“No thank you.” You tell him, “I want to go home Diego.”

 

He laughs his shoulder’s moving up and down rapidly, “You want to go home Kevin?”

 

“That’s what I said.”

 

“Don’t be stupid Kevin. You are home. This is your home. This is where you belong. Where you are. That’s no home. That’s a hide away.” Diego tilts his head, “I’m all the family you have Kevin. I own you, you’re mine, you’re my pet.”

 

“Leave me alone,” You feel panic in your stomach but Cecil hugs onto you tightly.

 

“Come home, Kevin.” Diego’s tone turns forceful, “Or I’ll take what you love. You don’t want to kill off anymore rabbits, do you? You don’t want me to make sure you never see your two favorite play things again, do you? They’re safer without you, come here Kevin. Come here and let me love you.”

 

“Cecil,” You whimper and you can see him glare from your shoulder at Diego. His body is wrapped around you protectively. “Cecil, I’m scared.”

 

“I won’t let him hurt you Kevin,” Cecil kisses your shoulder, “He isn’t going to hurt you or us. He isn’t real Kevin, he’s just a bad dream.”

 

“But he is,” You whimper loudly, “He’s just waiting he’s going to hurt me, he’s going to hurt you two, and I won’t be able to stop it. He’s going to kill everyone. He’s done it before, he’ll do it again…”

 

“No Kevin he won-“ Cecil gags and falls to his knees.

 

“Cecil!” You shriek loudly and kneel next to him holding his body. He makes awful choking noises and you can’t make them stop. His eyes roll back into his head as he convulses.

 

“I’ll go with you please!” You scream at Diego, “Please don’t hurt him!!!”

 

In a flash you’re standing in front of Diego, your body trembling, “Tell me how much you love me Kevin.”

 

Your eyes wet with tears, “I love you so much Diego. Please, don’t hurt him.”

 

“Kevin, Kevin, Kevin,” Diego scolds you, “I can’t hurt what’s already dead.” You turn back and Cecil looks like nothing more than bones and skin behind you, a string of blood runs out of his mouth and you cover your eyes and scream.

 

Diego’s arms wrap around you and hold you still as you panic. “I love you Kevin.” He scoffs into your ear. “I’ll never let you go. I’ll always have you.” You fight away tears. “I love you.”

 

“Stop.”

 

“Kevin wake up!” Cecil’s corpse gargles.

 

“Let me go.”

 

“Kevin open your eyes please!”

 

His hands push their thumbs into your hips.

 

“Let me leave!”

 

“Kevin!!!”

 

You shut your eyes and open them. Cecil and Carlos stand over you. It’s still pitch black outside. Cecil exhales and runs a hand over your forehead. You cling to him, “I thought you died. I thought you were gone.”

 

“It was just a bad dream Kevin,” Cecil gently strokes your back, “You pulled me into it. I’m okay nothing actually hurt me.”

 

Carlos kisses the top of your head and you snuggle close between the two of them. “He’s going to hurt you…” You whimper. Carlos looks at Cecil for clarification but Cecil just shakes his head at Carlos. He doesn’t push the question any further and stays near you. Fretting over your shaking frame.

 

Diego’s going to hurt them. You can feel it in your stomach. You’re so scared. You have to protect them. You can’t ever let them endure that. You promise yourself.

 

 

* * *

 

You grab at the blankets of the bed with panic before you remember that Cecil and Carlos didn’t stay in your room last night. You laugh at yourself putting your hands over your eyes. Stupid. You’re not in Nightvale. Things are better here; no hooded figure is going to kidnap your boyfriends in their sleep.

 

You throw your legs over the side of the bed and stand up. The floor is cold on the bottoms of your feet. You pick your glasses up off the side table and put them on the room coming into focus. You make your way over to the mirror in the room and curse at your reflection.

 

There’s a large reddish purple mark on your throat. You honestly don’t know what lie you could use to cover up what it actually is. It’s pretty obvious what it is. You hurry out of the room and bang on Cecil and Carlos’ door.

 

Carlos answers, “Kevin. What the fuck. It’s five in the morning.” You push in past him and his bed head and gesture to your neck forcefully. “Woah, hey. It’s no big deal we’ll just cover it up.”

 

“How? It’s huge!!!!” You whine and Cecil sits up in the bed.

 

“Kevin. It’s early,” He grumbles, “I’m nocturnal you know this.”

 

“Fuck you Cecil Palmer. You did this,” You hiss at him. Cecil rubs his eyes and stares at you until it clicks for him. He has to put a hand over his mouth to suppress the laughter that escapes out of him.

 

“Cecil, it’s not that funny,” Carlos says but his lips are pressed tightly together fighting giggles as well.

 

“Your Mom, is going to judge me so hard, if she sees this,” You tell him and grab him by his shirt, “And don’t even get me started on your sister. She will know what is up right away!”

 

“Oh,” Carlos’ face pale, “Oh yeah… this is not good…”

 

“I thought you wanted them to know.” Cecil teases you.

 

Your face floods bright red with embarrassment, “I wanted Carlos to tell them like a normal person. I don’t want to waltz into breakfast and be like, Oh HeY! I’m Kevin and last night I fucked your son and his boyfriend in your guest room!”

 

“Kevin,” Cecil stares past you, his expression dropping but you’re on a roll.

 

“But that’s okay! You know why?” You don’t realize how worked up you’re getting.

 

“Kevin.” Cecil stresses again.

 

“Cause he’s my boyfriend too!” You’re huffing when you hear the heart stopping laughter from behind you.

 

“Oh my god Carlos,” Camila snickers, “You really have out done yourself this time. This, this one is one for the books. I’m going to save this dirt for a long time. It’s going to come in useful around Christmas.” She laughs heartily again, “Mom wanted me to wake you all up for breakfast, but I’ll let her know if you won’t be able to make it because of your busy night.”

 

“Camila, please!” Carlos stresses and grabs her, “Please, please you can’t tell anyone!”

 

Camila’s expression turns sympathetic, “Of course Carlos. I won’t tell anyone.” It turns devious, “Maybe.” She hurries away before Carlos can stop her.

 

You feel like you’re going to be sick. “Carlos, I’m sorry.” You close your eyes tightly, “I should’ve kept quiet. I’m so sorry…I didn’t… stupid.” You growl at yourself, “I should’ve listened to Cecil. I’m bad at this…”

 

“Kitty Cat,” Carlos coos at you and pets your hair back, “No it’s okay. We were all joking together, she just ruined it. I was laughing at your reaction. It’s okay. I just… need to figure this out.”

 

“I messed up,” You mutter morosely and cover your head with your arms.

 

“Hey,” Cecil gets out of bed and walks over to you pulling you into a hug and patting your back sweetly. He looks over to Carlos, “Go stop your sister. I’ve got this.”

 

“Are you sure?” Carlos asks his voice filled with concern.

 

“Yeah, he’s just beating himself up. I can handle that.” Cecil tells him and you hear Carlos exit the room.

 

“Kevin, listen,” Cecil whispers into your ear, “Please… please… don’t make me pick you up… I’m not having a good day.” You can feel his arms shake as he holds you against him, “I’m actually… I feel really bad…”

 

You feel yourself returning back to a clear head and you put your arms down to look at Cecil. True enough to his word he’s pale and his eyes look tired.

 

“Do you need to lay down?” You ask him. He nods. “Is it… did I do it?”

 

“No, Kevin. You didn’t do anything,” Cecil calms your mind.

 

“Maybe if I’d let you sleep last night…” You mumble.

 

“No,” Cecil shakes his head at you, “You know as well as I do Kevin that I just get like this sometimes. So please… please can you keep it together today? For me?”

 

You nod at him quietly. Cecil pats your shoulder quietly, “Help me into bed please?” You slowly lay him down and he curls up into fetal position.

 

“Should I… go get something for you?” You ask him. Cecil shakes his head no but whimpers. “I’ll go get Carlos? Is that okay…?”

 

“Yes please,” Cecil exhales with a grimace, “And water?” You nod quickly and leave the room. Carlos almost runs into you, you frown and avoid eye contact with him.

 

“Cecil’s sick. He needs water, and you.” You look down.

 

“Thank you, Kitty Cat,” Carlos feathers your hair apart and you purr contently as he does. “I’m not mad. You know that, right?”

 

“I can’t disappoint you, Carlos.” Your eyes fall onto the ground. “You know that, right?” He reaches a hand out and pulls you close to his chest.

 

“We’ll be home soon enough. I thought this trip would be good for you but it’s just too much, I can tell. I’m so sorry.” He kisses the top of your head, “I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” You coo at him. His smile twitches onto his face. “Just until tomorrow.”

 

“Just until tomorrow. Then we’ll go home,” He confirms for you.

 

“Okay.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

You’re sitting in the living room while slasher movies play on the television. Your head is resting on the arm of the recliner. Camila lays across the couch, popping popcorn into her mouth and noisily crunching it. You feel aggravated by the entire situation, but you promised Cecil, you’d be good. So, you bottle it up as best you can.

 

“This isn’t even realistic, why doesn’t she just run away? She’s tripped like seven times,” Camila complains loudly.

 

“Maybe her perpetual self-loathing is causing her to want to be killed, but she doesn’t want to look like she gave up for the sake of her pride, so she’s making up excuses to get away from the killer by tripping short distances.” You offer monotone, the only expression on your face being your raised brows.

 

“Jesus, you’re just a ray of sunshine, aren’t you?” Camila snorts.

 

“Yes, so I’ve been told.” You don’t bother looking at her, as you watch the killer decapitate a girl. “Oh no she’s dead…” You offer and sigh.

 

Carlos passes behind the couches you two are sitting on and scoops the remote away from in front of Camila, changing the channel to some holiday cooking show. You glance back at him.

 

“What the fuck, Carlos,” Camila whines.

 

“Don’t watch that shit around Kevin.” Carlos’ big brother voice comes out, “Unless you want to die.”

 

“Oh yeah, is twink number two going to bite my hand off?” Camila rolls her eyes at him and takes the remote back.

 

“No,” Carlos walks out of living room, “But he’ll break your neck.”

 

Camila’s brows furrow in confusion and she looks at you. You shrug and put your head back down on the arm of the recliner. Camila holds the remote up to change the channel back but decides against it, setting it down to watch the cooking show instead.

 

 

* * *

 

“Boo!” Cecil’s nasal voice says from behind the recliner and you nearly jump a foot in the air.

 

“Why!?” you shout at him as you hold your chest, “I should’ve hit you!”

 

“With your tiny baby hands?” Cecil kisses your nose, “No, I don’t think so. It’s just going to be me you and Mrs. Escobar tonight. Carlos and his siblings are going trick or treating.”

 

“Isn’t that a little dangerous?” You raise a brow at Cecil.

 

“Significantly less dangerous than where we’re from.” Cecil comes and sits on the couch Camila was on earlier, “They’re going to leave in about ten minutes. And we figured since Mrs. Escobar has trouble walking around, and I look sick, you should hand out candy.”

 

“Why?” You’re honestly so confused about this. Why would you hand out candy on Halloween? It doesn’t make sense to you.

 

“They hand out candy and things to kids here, it’s pretty normal. They ring the door bell and then you give them a candy.”

 

“They don’t attack you?” You question.

 

“Nope, not unless the candy is really bad.” Cecil jokes and pulls a throw blanket around his body.

 

You nod, “Okay. I think I can do that.”

 

“We should tell her when Carlos is gone,” Cecil says quickly. You glance around and then stare at him with confusion. “Tell Mrs. Escobar about us. The three of us.”

 

“I don’t want to start problems Cecil….” You whine. You know it’s going to happen from the look in his eyes. You whine and cover your eyes, “This is going to result in a very awkward car ride tomorrow.”

 

“She deserves to know.” Cecil pouts, “I don’t think it’s fair that I can be affectionate with Carlos and they don’t judge us, but that you can’t. And his reaction this morning was completely uncalled for. I don’t think Mrs. Escobar will get upset with him at all.”

 

“But she could,” You point out to Cecil.

 

“Well… if worse comes to worse… I’ll just… suggest that she doesn’t get mad.” Cecil makes a guilty as charged face.

 

“Oh my god, Cecil you are not mind controlling our potential mother-in-law.” Your mouth hangs open.

 

“What me do that? No, never!” He says earnestly and then winks at you. You stare at him and shake your head no. “OH come on just a little?”

 

“No!” You shake your head no at him forcefully this time.

 

“No what?” Carlos walks into the room, toting a glittery angel Amor and a dark red devil Corazon.

 

You open your mouth to stop Cecil from saying anything but he quickly cuts you off with a. “NO NOTHING!” And you find your words impossible to get out.

 

“Oh…” Carlos looks at you for confirmation.

 

“Tell him Kevin.” Cecil nods at you.

 

“Yes,” You grind your teeth, “No, nothing.”

 

“Alright,” Carlos walks over to Cecil kissing his cheek, “We’ll be back in a couple hours. The girls say there’s some houses that are a ways out, but give out better candy.”

 

“You go have fun,” Cecil coos at him, “I’ll see you later.”

 

“I love you,” Carlos nuzzles him and Cecil kisses him sweetly. “We’re going to take off then.”

 

Mario and Camila walk into the room as well, Maria hobbles behind them. “Now stay safe!” Maria shouts at them as Carlos opens the door.

 

“Bye Mom,” Comes the chorus of shouts from the Escobar kids as they disappear out the door. Maria closes the door behind them and locks it, watching out the window.

 

“Good, they’re finally gone,” She walks over and sits next to Cecil, “Okay, Cecil tell me. I want to know what Carlito has been up to since I last saw him. I need the gossip.”

 

“I’ve got gossip,” Cecil looks pleased with himself, “So, we had this big war in Nightvale right?”

 

“Cecil don’t you dare!” You shout and point at him.

 

Maria’s head turns to you, “Oh! Is it about Kevin? Oh!” Maria looks ecstatic, “I want to know.”

 

“SO!” Cecil continues and you sit back grumbling unhappily. “This war happened, right. Long story, Carlos goes and gets himself stuck in this desert other world!”

 

The doorbell rings and you stand up walking over to the door. You open it and hand pieces of candy to a couple different kids in all manner of costume. You close it again, remembering to lock and walk back into the living room.

 

Maria is sitting there staring at Cecil, a hand over her mouth. You stop up and the panic settles in your stomach, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I told him not to tell you! I’m sorry…” You fold your arms over your chest and shut your eyes tightly. You don’t want to look at her. You’re a failure. You messed up. You did this to yourself.

 

“You’re both… dating Carlito?” Maria stares a head of her, “I…” You hug your arms around your body. “Kevin, are you okay?” Maria asks you. You shake your head no hard. “Mijo sit down.” She urges you. You shake your head no again.

 

“Kevin?” Cecil stands up and grabs a hold of you. You look at him, but you feel sick to your stomach. “You don’t look good at all? And that’s coming from me?”

 

“I want to vomit,” You admit to him, “We messed up so badly.”

 

“No,” Cecil shakes his head, “No Kevin. You are completely misreading this situation. Mrs. Escobar isn’t mad at us at all. She’s happy that we, the two of us, trust her enough to tell her what’s going on. And she says it helped her understand a lot of the ‘weird’ behavior we’ve been having.”

 

“She’s… not mad at us?” You look up at Cecil with a wince in your eyes.

 

“No, Kitty Cat, she’s happy,” Cecil uses the pet name on you and you shift your body weight into him. “Kevin, love, I’m still sick and we are going to fall over.”

 

“I don’t want to hear shit out of you,” You mumble into his abdomen, “I’m going to pass out. Oh, my gods.”

 

True enough to his word Cecil and you both fall back onto the empty recliner. He releases a heavy sigh and runs his hand through your hair, “Okay now you really have to get off.”

 

“No,” You tell him and cling to Cecil. “You made me so scared.”

 

Maria is smiling when you finally get off Cecil. He pulls you onto the recliner next to him, and throws a blanket around the two of you. You curl up into his arms. He adjusts himself awkwardly but eventually the two of you find a comfortable spot on the recliner together.

 

“Okay,” Maria points at the two of you, “I understand how Carlos ended up dating Kevin, but form what I understand you were very afraid of Kevin for a long time.”

 

“I’m… not actually sure?” Cecil looks down at you.

 

“It was definitely in the closet.” You confirm for him, “I think that was the first time you actually listened to why I was mad at you.”

 

“You were mad at him?” Maria’s gossiping nature begins to show itself again as she pries. Cecil shakes his head no at Maria as stealthily as he can.

 

“Yes,” You let her know you don’t want to press the issue further with your tone.

 

She gets the message and drops the question, “Well, I’m glad that you’re with them. And the three of you are happy?”

 

“We’re making it work,” Cecil laughs halfheartedly, “We fight sometimes, but all couples do that. And besides, Carlos and I love our Kitty Cat.” Cecil nuzzles you and gently kisses just below your lips. You involuntarily release a purr, and Cecil snorts laughing.

 

“And he proves his nickname, every time,” Cecil has a wide smile across his face.

 

“Sh-Shut up!” You feel the gold creep onto your face as you burry it in his shoulder. Cecil runs his hands through your hair sweetly, holding you close to him.


	13. 13

Diego slept in the bed of his cell the bitter cold biting through what little warmth his jacket usually provided him. He shivered coldly, he was a ceo dammit, these conditions were not befitting of him. He trembled pulling his arms closer together. His hair was speckled with many more patches of gray than it previously had. Nearly the entirety of it was grey and white at this point, with streaks of black running through it.

           

            He’d given up hope on rescue at this point. If Lauren hadn’t been killed or arrested, she was definitely enjoying his position in the Strex empire. Or as much of it as she could, now that it had been taken over by angels. Uncoincidentally the same angels that owned the jail he was now residing in. Fantastic.

 

            He loathed them. He was assaulted, demeaned, and treated like human garbage on a daily basis. He’d never done anything this awful to anyone and he didn’t understand why he had to suffer like this. Kevin was all but left to die in the wasteland that was the desert other world. And he knew no one, in the entirety of the corporation would ever come save him.

 

            “You seem pretty down in the dumps there friend,” An all too familiar sugary sweet voice called just from behind him. “Let’s get you out of there, Boss.”

 

            “Kevin!” Diego turned quickly to look at Kevin. He looked a little worse for wear but put together. “I thought you were dead.”

 

            “Not dead,” Kevin smiled but his smile split in two and his teeth stretched all the up to the ends of his mouth, “Reborn. Now. Cover your ears, bombs are known to be very loud.”

 

            Diego backed up away from the bars as Kevin pulled the bomb off of his belt. He lit the fuse and placed it near the edge of the cell before backing away. “Good luck,” Kevin said with a smile as he covered his ears. Diego braced for impact as the bomb detonated and blue the cell door off. It rattled on the floor loudly.

 

            The ex ceo slowly pulled himself to his feet. He was sure that endeavor just caused his hair to grey even further. He shakily steadied himself onto his socked feet.

 

            “Diego!” Kevin squeaked happily and threw himself into Diego’s arms. Diego hurriedly grabbed him so that Kevin didn’t hit the bars. “Oh, how I missed you, me and my friends walked all this way just to find you.”

 

            “What?” Diego furrowed his brows, “What friends? Kevin, who did you bring?”

 

            “The strangers of course!” Kevin smiled happily, “Well they’re citizens of Desert Buffs actually.”

 

            “Desert Bluffs is gone, Kevin,” Diego stressed to him.

 

            “Not that one, you silly old hen!” Kevin erupted into laughter, “The new Desert Bluffs! Why it’s just splendid I’ll have you know! It’s quiet amazing! If you’ll follow me! I’ll take you back to my studio!”

 

* * *

 

 

            The radio was a sticky red. Diego crinkled his nose at it as Kevin chatted way on the radio. He was always a bit of a clean freak, and a germaphobe to an even greater degree. While he would admit he crafted the perfect killing machine in Kevin, he didn’t understand how the systematic killing of individuals could result in so much mess.

 

            “Di,” Kevin purred from just behind Diego, “The weather is on. And it’s been so long since I’ve had you.” He purred into Diego’s ear. “Let’s get reacquainted.” Kevin pushed Diego back onto the nearby couch. He straddled Diego’s waist and true fear flashed through his beautiful hazel eyes.

 

            “You’re not Keivn,” He swallowed dryly.

 

            “I’m your Kevin,” Kevin purred down at him sinking razor fangs into Diego’s collar bone. Diego cursed loudly as Kevin bit harder.

 

            “Let go!” Diego dug his nails into the back of Kevin’s neck. With a gasp Kevin removed his teeth from Diego’s neck. Diego kicked him off. “Don’t you ever fucking keep doing something after I tell you to stop you understand that!?”

 

            “Whatever,” Kevin yawned from the floor, “What are you going to do hit me? I’d probably enjoy it.” He closed his eyes and released a breathy moan, “Hit me more please. Harder.”

 

            “Disgusting,” Diego growled and kicked Kevin in the stomach, “Stay away from me.”

 

            “That’s why he’s dead you know,” Kevin hissed through clenched fangs, “Because you just couldn’t appreciate what you had. That’s why he’s gone now, I swallowed him whole. Ate every last part of him, down to the bones.”

 

            “You’re horrible,” Diego hissed, “Immature and broken beast of a person.”

 

            “He screamed and pleaded when I crunched down on his fragile little bird bones, if only he was a little stronger, than maybe he’d still be here, but you ruined that for him as well. He’s never grow bigger, he’d never get stronger, he’d never have the opportunities others his age could have. And it’s your fault.”

 

            “Shut up before I rip that tongue out through your teeth!” Diego snapped.

 

            Kevin moaned loudly, “Smiling god when you talk like that it gets me all kinds of hot and bothered.”

 

            “Why are you so sexual?” Diego snarled.

 

            “Because you took that from him too. You bas-AH” Kevin’s head was jerked harshly to the side. Diego grabbed him by his hair and pulled him so their eyes were level.

 

            “You listen here and you listen good. I don’t want you to ever address me like that, I’m Boss, or Diego, or sir to you. You may be a different personality in Kevin’s body, but you are still my property. I will not hesitate to punish you in the same manor and if you ever, ever attempt anything like that I’ll kill you. I can always find a new toy.”

 

            “So I’m just a toy now?” Kevin snickered, “Well. I didn’t expect that.” He ran his tongue along his teeth slowly, “That’s kinda hot.”

 

            “As I said before disgusting.”


End file.
